The 2014 Winter Olympics: Day 17(ish)

Yeah, yeah I'm drunk of my fecking eyeballs. Leave me alone.

Today has been the final day of competition at the 2014 Winter Olympics. In practical terms this meant the finals of the men's cross country skiing, the final of the 4xmens Bobsleigh and the men's Ice Hockey final.

In the ski-cross I believe it was a clean sweep by the Russians. Team USA did badly in the four man bob placing bronze behind Russia and Latvia which may have been embarrassing to the "Gay Rights for Gays!" mob who were sadly forced to admit that "Russia" and "Latvia" are indeed separate countries. The men's Ice Hockey was of course forced to suffer the humiliation of a Canada V Sweden game.

Heroically it was Russia's ski-cross medallists who were forced to take to the podium in the medal ceremony that was central to the Sochi closing ceremony. However I believe their three athletes were joined on stage by Norway's three women ski-cross skiers. Really with only six athletes taking to the stage I thought we could have at least honoured the finalists of the men's ice hockey.

Initially the men's Ice hockey should have been a bruiser between Team USA and Russia. Unfortunately the Ukrainian situation determined that Russia was forced to pull out early and Team US were too p*ssy to play Sweden.

While due to their colour scheme the Netherlands are the obvious target for "Old European Monarchies" and the "Orange Revolution" it has actually been Sweden and their "Triple Crown" who have been leading the line against Ukraine's government. For example I believe they were one of the main nations pushing for sanctions against Ukraine's government. Then after the insurgency swept Ukraine's government aside I believe it was Sweden who suggested that the European Union (EU) provide Ukraine with a roughly USD19billion bailout. Of course they didn't name the EU directly - instead talking in the more general terms of "the international community" - because by that point even the UK were pointing the finger at the International Monetary Fund (IMF) and going "No, please. Help!!!.

Team USA were of course sadly missing from any discussion about Ukraine becoming the 51st state during the closing ceremony because they had heroically withdrawn from the contest in the semi-final. This had nothing to do with the fact that following the initial outbreak of insurgent violence on Tuesday (18/2/14) Japan issued a warning through the announcement of a leak from the Fukushima nuclear plant. Horrifically mis-reading this the US opened the taps at the Carlsbad nuclear facility as if to say; "No allies, it's fine. We're only supporting a coup in Ukraine to guarantee a UNSC resolution against Syria. Of course with Japan following up with the "Anne Frank Memo" this fell a little flat. So on Saturday (22/2/14/local) the USA followed up with a carbon monoxide related death at the "Legal Seafood Restaurant" because we all do know that much like Chris Brown and all his kin at Roc Nation/Live Nation the Japanese do so love their "Weeping and a Wailing"

As for the closing ceremony I think that's a topic best left for another day. However it was pretty obvious during the opening act that at any moment any one of the youngsters representing "Lubov" could have fallen out of their lifeboat and been consumed by the "poisonous cloud" below.

23:15 on 23/2 /14 (UK date).