Superbowl 2014 - A Post-Mortem.

Last night and for most of this morning I stayed up until stupid o'clock in order to watch the 48th Superbowl. During this time I came to the conclusion that I will probably never learn to love American Football. The main reason for this is that as far as I can tell not very much actually happens in an American Football match. Seriously with all the time outs and the line changes it strikes me more as people sitting around talking about a sport rather then actually playing a sport. All the stoppages also mean that American Football seems to occupy this strange parallel universe where 15 minutes can last almost an entire hour.

Of course in America all these constant delays are filled with conversations amongst friends and those infamous Superbowl commercials. Here in the UK we instead got three men sitting in a spartan studio who somehow managed to talk constantly yet not in any way explain what was going on. As a result I quickly got bored and started making my own entertainment which mainly centred around finding new and inventive ways to insult American Football players. The Seattle Seahawks' Richard Sherman became a particular target because he's been in the news recently and his long hair makes him more distinctive then most. I just hope his ankle heals up faster then mine did.

As for the game itself far from being a tight contest the Seahawks utterly annihilated the Denver Broncos 43 - 8 and it was only in the late stages of the game that the Broncos managed to get on the score sheet at all. This was supposed to symbolise that the US Establishment remains very opposed to the idea of legalising the recreational use of marijuana. After all while both Denver and Seattle are in states that have legalised recreational marijuana Colorado's marijuana market is currently up and running while Washington's has yet to be launched. Therefore of the two teams the Seahawks represent the most prohibitive.

Also the Seahawks played in white uniforms which was meant to represent harder drugs because the way they lined up in white invoked the way that cocaine and sometimes heroin is racked up in lines ready to be snorted. One of the main arguments used in favour of marijuana prohibition is that legalising it will simply be the first step on a slippery slope towards legalising all recreational drugs. Finally certainly since the start of the Rihanna operation the Americans have got it into their heads that they can totally control my thoughts and behaviour through sub-conscious manipulation. The reference to cocaine was supposed to encourage me to take cocaine and in the process allow the US to show off their party trick. In the end I didn't end up taking cocaine but the Americans were certainly trying to create speculation about whether I had or not.

This theme of hard drugs following the legalisation of marijuana continued on into the half-time show. After last year this actually struck me as a bit dull because it really was just Bruno Mars standing on stage singing a few songs with his band. Bruno Mars was joined for one song by The Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Back in 2011 Bruno Mars was arrested and convicted on cocaine possession charges while The Red Hot Chilli Peppers are pretty famous for their own drug consumption. In fact one of their most famous songs "Under the Bridge" is all about their guitarists battle with heroin addiction.

Drug references aside the main theme of the half-time show was the Olympics with the stage and everybody on it bathed in gold light like the gold in the medals that Olympians aspire to. During The Red Hot Chilli Peppers appearance the colour scheme changed to snow white in order to emphasise that it was the upcoming Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia that were being referenced. Technically Russia has never hosted an Olympics before but back in 1980 the old Soviet Union hosted the Summer Olympics in Moscow. Coming at the height of the Cold War the US boycotted these games and the fact that a lot of the top athletes didn't compete rather undermined the event. As this marked the start of a period throughout the 1980's in which US President Reagan was very provocative towards the Soviet Union this still rankles in Russia who are looking towards Sochi as a way to restore pride.

With the US and Russia having a major falling out over Syria there had been talk that the US could boycott the Sochi games using the gay rights argument as an excuse. As it turns out America will be going to Sochi but President Obama has provocatively appointed three openly gay former athletes to head the delegation. The half-time show was just another provocation because the use of fireworks was reminiscent of the 2008 Olympic opening ceremony in Beijing, China. That seemed to be an attempt to remind Russia that it's not even the most powerful former Soviet Bloc nation anymore.

This renewed provocation of Russia was actually challenged by the commercial for the rather all American company Radio Shack. This featured two employees standing in a Radio Shack store when the got a phone call from the 1980's saying that it wanted its store back. The doors then opened and icons from 1980's US TV Shows and I think at least one Olympic gymnast came in to strip all the out dated products and fittings from the store. This allowed the advert to then unveil the new modern Radio Shack store that is built on an ethos of co-operation, synergy and other corporate buzzwords. I'm not sure of the running order of the commercials but I think that this one was aired just before the half-time show when they probably really wanted to slip it in just after.

I'll be back to talk about some of the other big adverts but first I've going to have dinner and then possibly a nap.

17:45 on 3/2/14 (UK date).

Edited at around 20:10 on 3/2/14 (UK date) to add;

Obviously I'm not going to comment on all the Superbowl commercials because it would take me too long to find them and watch them let alone write them up. I am though going to mention the ones that either I found interesting or that received the most attention.

The David Beckham H&M advert was interesting on technical level. There were actually two versions of the commercial with one featuring Beckham clothed and the other featuring him unclothed. Viewers got to decide which version was shown by Tweeting either the #Clothed or #Unclothed hashtag which sort of made the advert interactive. For people watching on Samsung SmartTV's though the commercial was even more interactive because if they clicked on any of the products shown they were immediately taken to the H&M website and given the option to buy them there and then. This type of interactive advertising has been touted for a number of years but I think this was the first time that it has actually been used on such a wide scale. Therefore I'd be quite interested to find out how many, if any, people took advantage of this new service.

Also along with the Volvo commerical featuring Zlatan Ibrahimovic the use of such a big soccer star seemed like gentle teasing to see if Americans might like to try their hands at a proper sport.

The Jaguar advert also caught my attention. Using the slogan "It's good to be bad" this advert focused on why British actors are always cast as the villains in American films and featured Ben Kingsley, Mark Strong and Tom Hiddleston who are all respected British actors. Shot in the style of the British James Bond films it not only featured Jaguar cars but other symbols of Britishness such as the Houses of Parliament and the new Routemaster London buses that the UK has become seriously obsessed with recently. This commercial was supported so heavily by Britain as a nation that even the UK Ambassador to the UN was promoting it on Twitter. Therefore I can't help but feel that the UK is worried about its relationship with the US especially its popularity amongst the general public.

The clear winner of the car commercials and probably all the commercials though was Kia with their advert "The Truth" for their new luxury K900 model. Featuring Laurence Fishburne reprising his role of Morpheus from the Matrix films a couple are offered a choice between the usual luxury car or the new luxury of the K900. Having chosen the K900 the couple discover that they really like it. At that point Laurence Fishburne suddenly bursts in to a rendition of Nessun Dorma from Puccini's opera Turandot which nobody was expecting.

I think that this advert was the South Korean car company having a subtle dig at the US over its Pivot Towards the Pacific policy particularly Rihanna's role in it. The plan was that we would all be captivated as Rihanna uses her music to express the emotional ups and downs of her turbulent relationship with Chris Brown. This is basically the plot of every opera ever and because most operas are over 200 years all the new productions are about finding ever more abstract ways of expressing the characters emotions. Therefore anyone with even a cursory experience of opera would have had absolutely no problem pulling the Rihanna operation to pieces. The reason why Laurence Fishburne's character in the Matrix is called Morpheus is because Morpheus is the Roman god of sleep and dreams so the South Koreans appeared to be telling the US that it found the Rihanna operation and the Superbowl in general to be rather dull.

This meant that the Kia commercial utterly destroyed Chrysler's big commerical starring Bob Dylan which was supposed to signify the resurgence of the American motor industry. The big message of that advert was that it was artistic soul and creative passion of American workers that made their cars better then all the Asian imports. The Kia advert basically went; "Well actually the creative passion and the artistic vision of the US isn't that great to begin with." The Chrysler advert was supposed to be a big secret so it was a double blow that Kia not only knew about it in advance but were able to produce a more inventive response.

Finally there was the Scarlett Johanssen SodaStream commercial which I've already discussed at great length. However having actually watched the commercial it is clear that Scarlett Johanssen knew exactly what she was doing. Taking a very sarcastic tone the commerical begins with Johanssen claiming that as a celebrity it is her job to save the world before wondering how she can make her message go viral before signing off with the phrase; "Take that Coke and Pepsi!" Therefore this advert was very much Israel expressing its immense displeasure over the US' meddling in the Israel/Palestine peace process, Syria and the Rihanna operation that saw the US be utterly subservient to the Gulf Monarchies.