With my domestic internet connection down, the police helicopter buzzing overhead, patrol cars on every corner and even a motorcycle outrider

paying a visit to my quiet residential street.

It is quite clear that I will get no peace until I discuss this whole Manchester riot business. The problem is that I don't know that much about it because I didn't even watch the game let alone watch or in anyway organise the riots. From what I've seen on TV though it is clear that there were three clear problems in the run up to the game. These are;

1.They were Scottish football fans. Traditionally when Scottish fans travel to England it ends in violence. Some people say this is because the tartan army invoke the spirit of William Wallace other say it is because they simply come down and see people with jobs which gets them confused and angry. Either way the annual England V Scotland fixture was called to an end in the 1980's because it always ended up in a riot. In fact when the old Wembley stadium was being torn down there was a joke going round that we should have invited the Scottish national team down so their fans could get started on the demolition.

2.They were Glasgow Rangers fans. Glasgow is a very tough city in Scotland where the residents are often quick to violence. Up until very recently Glasgow was so violent that per capita you were more likely to be murdered there then in a city such as New York. Also Rangers along with Celtic make up one half of the infamous "Old Firm" one of the bitterest rivalries in football history which in effect plays out the northern Irish troubles in microcosm four times a year. Before the peace process took hold you could always tell which team had won the old firm game by which bit of Belfast went up in flames.

3. Both sets of fans were allowed to drink all day. Apparently when people get really drunk they often engage in violence.

With a run up to the game like that all was needed was a flash point to set the whole thing up. There has been much talk of this flash point being the screen in the fans area breaking down but I've seen a lot of the footage of the violence and it all happened after dark. This means that rather then the video screen being the flash point it was Rangers losing the game in the same way that England getting knocked out of Euro 2004 was the flash point for violence across the country.


The fact that Rangers fans are almost exclusively Church of England Protestants has allowed some people (mainly the police) to claim that these riots were my fault because I am a Catholic and the British State object to me because they are all Protestants giving the violence a political dimension. This is nonsense because coming from a "mixed marriage" I was baptized in both the Catholic faith and the Church of England. Also I was never confirmed as a Catholic. So presumably if the Russian fans had kicked off the violence would have been given a political dimension because I'm a Communist or if it was an Italian team that made it to the final it would be a political protest against the removal of Gypsies from Naples.

Rather then objecting to me for some ethereal reason to do with God and the meaning of life British Intelligence object to me for the more mortal reason that in the launching of the grand Anna plan which they effectively sold to the gays rights for gays brigade (interesting vote before Parliament today btw) they attempted to impose their will onto a situation of which they had no understanding. This caused them to badly over-reach themselves and fail. In the course of this failure they ruined my life, they ruined Anna's life, they ruined the life of Anna's partner, they ruined my fathers life, they ruined Iians life, they ruined Croydons chances of development, they ruined mental health reform, they massively disadvantaged the UK on the world stage and they ruined the chances of me discussing that lesbian parenting proposal in more detail.

In order to put this situation right British Intelligence will have to accept that they have made a bad mistake and lose face. This is not acceptable for them so they will continue to throw whatever excuse they can think of at the problem rather then admitting that they're not as good as they think they are.