Turns Out CBB Must be Important.

Well it's got me blogging on a Saturday at least.

Last night (10/1/14) in Celebrity Big Brother there was another live eviction show. It turns out I may not have been giving the voting process my full attention. Rather then being asked to vote for the housemate they wanted to evict viewers were asked to vote for the housemate they wanted to save from eviction. Therefore the housemate with the lowest number of votes ended up getting evicted. However the big twist last night was that the two housemates with the fewest votes (Evander Holyfield and Luisa Zissman) were then passed over to Lee Ryan and Casey Batchelor who'd been hidden away in an annex. Lee and Casey then got to choose who was evicted and they chose Evander Holyfield.

After Evander had left the house Lee and Casey re-entered the main house. I think this took a lot of pressure of the production team because the spectacle of Lee and Casey using a live feed of the Big Brother house to paper over the very obvious cracks in their relationship put the show on very thing ice with a significant number of its viewers. It also massively increased the pressure on Jasmine Waltz who genuinely thought that Lee and Casey has left the show for good. When Jasmine's great rival Casey walked back into the house Jasmine shot her a series of looks which I think meant she was seriously weighing up if she could get away with killing Casey. Apart from witnessing the return of her main rival Jasmine was also forced to quickly reassess the new game plan involving Luisa that she'd already put in motion.

In previous years - especially when the show was on Channel 4 - there was a tendency to put members of the public into the main Big Brother show that looked a bit like certain celebrities. That way the contestant could be used as a metaphor to discuss (but mainly libel) the celebrity in question. In preparing to ship out from the US to join Celebrity Big Brother Jasmine clearly noticed that she (or her plastic surgeon) could make her look a bit like Jessie J, the UK pop-star.

Jessie J repeatedly claims to be bisexual however every time she does all most people hear is; "I'm a massive dyke but the record company are worried that might put off potential customers." More importantly Jessie J is widely accepted as a mouthpiece of the British state using her songs to forward the UK's political agenda abroad in an example of what is known as "Soft-power." As a result Jessie J is frequently discussed in political/intelligence circles. So for example when Jessie J announced that she was shaving her head to raise money for the Comic Relief charity the South Korean pop band AKB48 announced that it was forcing one of it's members - Minami Minigishe - to shave her head as punishment for being caught dating a man in violation of band rules.

Thinking that Lee and Casey were permanently out of the game and with Dappy proving to be nowhere near as attractive as he thinks he is Jasmine had decided to focus on the Jessie J connection by assuming the predatory lesbian role within her relationship with Luisa. After all while Jasmine clearly isn't keen on a bit of girl-on-girl action she isn't totally averse to it either.

So whilst they were sharing a bed on Thursday (9/1/14) night Jasmine started up a conversation with Luisa about what Lee and Casey had got up to in that bed. Jasmine was fixated on the idea that Casey might have performed oral sex on Lee which she was keen to emphasise she thought was disgusting. Jasmine went on to pull Luisa's head under the covers to tell her that Lee had performed oral sex on her during the UFO task. While this might be partially true it certainly doesn't tell the full story and Jasmine only mentioned it in an effort to find out if Luisa might be interested in performing oral sex on her. This was an attempt by Jasmine to damage the reputation of Jessie J and lesbians in general by again highlighting the way that Luisa had been exploited by lesbians in the past. Well that and I think Jasmine had an itch.

Although I think most of this has gone right over his head the relationship between Jasmine and Luisa has made Dappy extremely jealous because well he thought he was in with a chance with Jasmine. As a result Dappy has been behaving extremely unpleasantly towards Luisa. This culminated in a huge argument between the two that was teased during Friday's show and no doubt will be shown in full tonight. Basically it involved Dappy calling Luisa a slut, a whore and a dozen names in between. Most hurtfully though Dappy kept asking if Luisa was going to tell her five year old daughter how many men she'd had sex with. Needless to say this had Luisa in floods of tears and led to her having another argument over basically nothing with Lionel Blair later in the evening.

While I doubt Dappy is that cunning and is more likely simply lashing out against someone who stole the toy he wants to play with his behaviour towards Luisa jeopardises her relationship with Jasmine. That's because in response to Dappy's outburst Luisa will be looking for comfort and emotional support. Being herself under pressure due to the return of Lee and Casey and well her personality Jasmine is unlikely to be in a position to provide that support. 

Incidentally whilst he was in the annex Lee Ryan pretty much spent the entire time in floods of tears complaining about the big mistake he'd made by cheating on Casey with Jasmine. This was all a cynical ploy to get the public back on his side. Unfortunately the general consensus from Twitter was that he should; "Put his tampon back in and head off to bed."


11:40 on 11/1/14 (UK date).