Well FIFA Have Let Themselves Down There.

In the roughly 1 hour and 25 minutes since the proposed end of the Uruguay Versus Italy match in Group D I have been to the pub for a steak dinner, brought some cider and come back home with no problems to report. However - as far as I can tell - FIFA have yet to put out a statement suspending the result of the match pending an investigation into the conduct of Marco Rodríguez - the alleged referee.

In the absence of such a statement I feel I'm forced to give a quick review of the 'match' before the Group C games kick off.

Basically needing nothing more than a draw Italy's game plan was to play a downright sexy game made up of pinpoint passing and careful positioning. Obviously Uruguay had no response to this so instead decided to spend the next 90 minutes trying to get Italian players sent off in the hope they could thieve a late goal. Honestly I could give a long list of all the Uruguayans who stepped onto the pitch along with a minute by minute break down of every foul they committed. However the edited highlights are;

Around 10 minutes Uruguay's number 21 Cavani challenged an Italian player in the air for the ball. This prompted Cavani to fall to the ground and roll around clutching his lower back as if he'd been mortally wounded by the Italian player. However slow motion replays confirmed that Cavani had in fact struck the Italian player in the head before bruising his bum as he fell to the ground. Obviously with Uruguay being a South American nation there was no suggestion that Cavani would even be warned by the referee let shown a yellow card. To their credit the Italian defence dealt with this so well that eventually Cavani was left wandering around the pitch grabbing his bumhole like he was trying to pretend that he'd been raped.

At around 40 minutes Cavani again found himself challenging an Italian defender in the air following a Uruguayan corner. On this occasion Cavani threw the Italian defender to the ground and proceeded to stamp on his head. Now I'm not saying that this was definitely a red card offence but if I'd done it to someone in the pub I would expect to spend the next six months in prison for assault.

Obviously though having seen the way that referees in this tournament have been doing everything in their power to keep the Hispanic South American sides in the contest we weren't expecting anyone to receive any cards.

However things took a surprising turn in the 69th minute when Italy's Claudio Marchisio was fouled by a Uruguayan player. In riding out this foul Marchisio might have slightly kicked the Uruguayan player in the shin which seemed acceptable given the previous 68 minutes. However Marchisio was suddenly shown a red card and sent straight off.

Despite being reduced to 10 men the Italians were still having the best of the game when the most talked about incident of the match occurred. Here Uruguay's Luis Suarez headbutted  Italy's Giorgio Chiellini - a clear red card offence. Chiellini then instinctively threw up his arm in defence. This prompted Suarez to roll around on the floor clutching his face in an effort to get Chiellini sent off. However as replays and online discussions progress it appears that not only did Suarez head-butt Chiellini but he also bit him on the shoulder constituting another red card offence and a possible prison sentence. The referee of course saw nothing.

As a result the only outcome from this match that I can consider in any way fair is for it to be replayed with an actual referee or for it to be annulled due to the conduct of Marco Rodríguez so the group ends as if the match had never been played.

19:45 on 24/6/14 (UK date).

Edited at around 22:20 on 24/6/14 (UK date) to add:

Well if FIFA agreed - in advance - that Mexico's Marco Rodríguez should 'referee' the Uruguay V Italy game in the hope that he would produce a scandal big enough to keep us all captivated by the World Cup now that England have opted to leave the tournament they have been failed. After all I was that p*ssed off that the competition was allowed to continue with the Group C games I have absolutely no idea what happened.

However I gather that Columbia beat Japan (I have a lot of love for them on my left ankle) 4-1 while Cote d'Ivorie (there was a small war) first suffered the insult of Greece going 1-0 up only to equalise (Bony) before suffering the further insult of watching Greece scoring a last-minute, soft penalty to go through as runner's up. As such Greece will go on to face Costa Rica in the last 16 while the debate rages over who Columbia will face.

If FIFA acknowledge the suggested result of the Uruguay V Italy game then Columbia will face - I can't bring myself to say it. This strikes me as mistake because it will pose the question of whether any Hispanic South American team actually deserves to still be in the competition. However I think the question whomever bribed Marco Rodríguez was hoping to pose was whether he'd been bribed by "South American drug cartels." After all I've heard a lot of those cartels move their cocaine across the Atlantic to west-African nations such Cote d'Ivorie before it goes up across the Mediterranean to EU nations such as Greece (and now apparently Ukraine). I understand that Columbia brought on their #22 to highlight just this sort of Escobar related incident.

As a football fan though I will robbed if Italy are not allowed to progress in the competition so my above advice remains valid. However I think FIFA should also impose a substantial penalty against the Mexican Football Association (FA)  for certifying Marco Rodríguez as a referee. Ideally they to should be expelled from the competition meaning that The Netherlands go on to face Croatia but that would probably be a little unfair on the team so I think a (large) fine's fine.