It's true, it is now January 1st 2011. Or to put it another way;
1/1/11.
Now before my massive cold and I celebrate this fact by going to bed I've just got a quick question for the Brits. Will it be the beginning of 2012 or the end of 2012 before you accept that you've failed miserably and need to try a new path?
I only ask because I'm trying to work out your final bill.
Friday, 31 December 2010
Thursday, 30 December 2010
Oh Dear, the council bastards are on the march.
Just stepped out the back of my house and some little shit has torn down all the (wire) fencing that keeps all the foxes out of their natural home. The other neighbour who built this giant lateral shed did so without planning permission and now the usual suspects dog is getting all upset. While this should never be entered into evidence I think Croydon council have just realised the the Belgian/Wallington dog murder was a turf war that they started.
Yep it's 23:09 and while you can stay with me until it gets white phos I don't think it's going to get any better.
Yep it's 23:09 and while you can stay with me until it gets white phos I don't think it's going to get any better.
Fuck You Canada!
For some inexplicable reason yesterday I decided to start watching that copy of V: The New Series my brother gave me on my birthday and it turns out I'm not the one that needs to apologise. My second mistake was to decide to have a day off the booze. As this means my blood can no longer be used as an effective anti-septic so I've now got a bit of a sore throat. And not even the mild fever makes it any better.
So seeing as how my Christmas is now ruined I may as well share the hate;
Kara Tointon is a 27 year old Essex girl who starred in cheapo BBC soap opera "Eastenders." After leaving the role of Dawn Swann in 2009 she struggled to find another acting job. During this time of personal weakness she was approached by people from the Wellcome Trust who managed to convince her that rather then being due to limited acting talent her inability to find work was due to her dyslexia preventing her from learning scripts. She then spent the next three months being poked, prodded, brain scanned and tested by those nice people at the Wellcome trust while a camera crew followed her round, Katie Price style, for a documentary called "Kara Tointon: Don't Call Me Stupid" which was shown on BBC3 and therefore watched by no-one.
After helping to prove that while dyslexia doesn't make you thick thick people can indeed suffer from it Ms Tointon was rewarded with a place on the BBC's Strictly Come Dancing. This is the show that spawned Dancing with the Stars and involves taking celebrities with no experience and training them in ballroom dancing. At the start of the show Kara Tointon was introduced to her government issue husband in the form of her dance partner, Artem Chigvintsev and subjected to the form of physical training that would provide a mountain of data on the possible link between dyslexia and dyspraxia, both of which are considered autism spectrum disorders.
In order to provide further positive re-enforcement Kara Tointon went on to be crowned winner of Strictly Come Dancing 2010 and sadly thinks she's going to be a big star in 2011. While she will get some work because the idea is to hold her up a shining example to enforce the belief in the British public that if they're good little slaves their masters will reward them the plan is that the new husband will be able to shut her up by around September.
Strictly did a similar thing a few years back with alleged pop star, Alesha Dixon who, incidentally, must now be really starting to worry about her seat on the judging panel.
Oh and don't even get me started on N-Dubz. Apparently for their next album they're going to team up with Kaite B to re-record the soundtrack to My Fair Lady.
So seeing as how my Christmas is now ruined I may as well share the hate;
Kara Tointon is a 27 year old Essex girl who starred in cheapo BBC soap opera "Eastenders." After leaving the role of Dawn Swann in 2009 she struggled to find another acting job. During this time of personal weakness she was approached by people from the Wellcome Trust who managed to convince her that rather then being due to limited acting talent her inability to find work was due to her dyslexia preventing her from learning scripts. She then spent the next three months being poked, prodded, brain scanned and tested by those nice people at the Wellcome trust while a camera crew followed her round, Katie Price style, for a documentary called "Kara Tointon: Don't Call Me Stupid" which was shown on BBC3 and therefore watched by no-one.
After helping to prove that while dyslexia doesn't make you thick thick people can indeed suffer from it Ms Tointon was rewarded with a place on the BBC's Strictly Come Dancing. This is the show that spawned Dancing with the Stars and involves taking celebrities with no experience and training them in ballroom dancing. At the start of the show Kara Tointon was introduced to her government issue husband in the form of her dance partner, Artem Chigvintsev and subjected to the form of physical training that would provide a mountain of data on the possible link between dyslexia and dyspraxia, both of which are considered autism spectrum disorders.
In order to provide further positive re-enforcement Kara Tointon went on to be crowned winner of Strictly Come Dancing 2010 and sadly thinks she's going to be a big star in 2011. While she will get some work because the idea is to hold her up a shining example to enforce the belief in the British public that if they're good little slaves their masters will reward them the plan is that the new husband will be able to shut her up by around September.
Strictly did a similar thing a few years back with alleged pop star, Alesha Dixon who, incidentally, must now be really starting to worry about her seat on the judging panel.
Oh and don't even get me started on N-Dubz. Apparently for their next album they're going to team up with Kaite B to re-record the soundtrack to My Fair Lady.
Northern Ireland Water Crisis
After a period of very cold temperatures for the region the big thaw started in Northern Ireland around December 20th bringing with it burst pipes and drained reservoirs. This is a problem that's actually been affecting other parts of the UK including Wales, Northwest England and even London but is at its worst in Northern Ireland where tens of thousands of homes have been without running, mains water for up to eleven days. Being Northern Ireland this is fast becoming a sectarian issue with Loyalists blaming the crisis on the Republicans in the Northern Irish Assembly and using it as an example of how much better everything was when the province was ruled directly from London. To further this end there are no doubt some civil servants who are perhaps not working as hard as they could to solve the problem. However the main reason for the crisis is twofold;
Global Warming. After 10-15 years of unseasonably warm winters all across the UK we now have an entire generation of people who have no idea how to cope with snow in December. Up and down the country people are only now realising that if the temperature drops below freezing then you need to drain your outside pipes otherwise they will freeze and burst. Likewise if your pipes do freeze you need to thaw them out as soon as possible because any pipes on your side of the pavement are your problem, not the water companies.
Water Pricing. An exciting topic if there ever was one(!) Unlike most of the rest of the developed world households in Northern Ireland don't pay a service charge to the water company for their mains water supply. Instead the state run company is funded through indirect taxation and the block grant from London. As a result it is pretty much paralysed by sectarian infighting and doesn't really have the resources to carry out proper maintenance and educate their customers how to maintain their own properties. Although for most of the last 40 years Northern Ireland has been ruled directly from London where water service charges are normal the province has avoided introducing the policy as a nod to the Republicans because in the Republic of Ireland they don't pay service charges either. Well I say don't, one of the conditions of the EU/IMF bailout is that the Irish Republic will have to introduce some form of water pricing which does rather prove that the IMF do think these things through occasionally.
Oh and there's been a shocking development in the Joanna Yeates saga. It turns out that Avon & Somerset police are so immature that they've renamed their Scenes of Crime Officer's (SOCO's) Crime Scene Investigators (CSI's) and given them black utility vests like the ones they wear on that there US TV show.
Global Warming. After 10-15 years of unseasonably warm winters all across the UK we now have an entire generation of people who have no idea how to cope with snow in December. Up and down the country people are only now realising that if the temperature drops below freezing then you need to drain your outside pipes otherwise they will freeze and burst. Likewise if your pipes do freeze you need to thaw them out as soon as possible because any pipes on your side of the pavement are your problem, not the water companies.
Water Pricing. An exciting topic if there ever was one(!) Unlike most of the rest of the developed world households in Northern Ireland don't pay a service charge to the water company for their mains water supply. Instead the state run company is funded through indirect taxation and the block grant from London. As a result it is pretty much paralysed by sectarian infighting and doesn't really have the resources to carry out proper maintenance and educate their customers how to maintain their own properties. Although for most of the last 40 years Northern Ireland has been ruled directly from London where water service charges are normal the province has avoided introducing the policy as a nod to the Republicans because in the Republic of Ireland they don't pay service charges either. Well I say don't, one of the conditions of the EU/IMF bailout is that the Irish Republic will have to introduce some form of water pricing which does rather prove that the IMF do think these things through occasionally.
Oh and there's been a shocking development in the Joanna Yeates saga. It turns out that Avon & Somerset police are so immature that they've renamed their Scenes of Crime Officer's (SOCO's) Crime Scene Investigators (CSI's) and given them black utility vests like the ones they wear on that there US TV show.
Tuesday, 28 December 2010
The Snow.
Starting in mid-November most of Britain, northern Europe and now north America experienced early, rapid and heavy snowfall.
Co-inciding with the start of the Cancun COP16 Summit this was perhaps not the best weather to underline the need for global action on climate change. Although during the same period 42 Israeli's were killed by wild fires in region that has been blighted by drought, Australia's monsoon rains and Colombia's lethal flooding meant that the globes weather was more wet and cold then dry and warm. However these extreme weather patterns are actually fit perfectly in line with current, accepted global warming theory.
Since the early to mid-1980's global temperature's have risen. This warming has caused ice caps, glaciers and other so called ice masses to melt and become water. Once melted this water becomes part of the hydrological cycle and gets circulated between the seas and oceans, the atmosphere and the land. In recent years this global warming has made sure that this water remains as water meaning that when it falls from the atmosphere back to the land it does so as rain rather then snow. However in 2008 a solar cycle ended dramatically reducing the amount of heat emitted from the sun causing global temperatures to drop sharply. This caused increased snowfall in 2009 because generally speaking sea water is better at retaining heat then the land so when rain clouds moved from the warm sea onto the cold land they froze meaning that the water fell out of them as snow rather then rain.
In 2010 there was the added problem that a stream of air, commonly know as the jet stream moved. This meant that the warm air that normally flows across the eastern United States, the Atlantic ocean and western Europe was diverted south across the Mediterranean and on to the middle east. This then created a vacuum into which very cold Arctic air flowed further cooling the land and turning all that rain into snow.
So while it might be hard to believe all these blizzards and record low temperatures within the Ferrel cell* are actually pretty conclusive proof of global warming. Regardless of what some fools at the University of East Anglia might say the increased amount of rain and snow demonstrate that global ice masses have actually melted. Assuming that we've ruled out magic as a cause this melting proves that global temperatures have increased.
With the fact of global warming conclusively proved the only debate left is what to do about it. If you believe that global warming is the product of human greenhouse gas emissions then we obviously need to find some way to cut those emissions. However if you believe that global warming is solely caused by unpredictable solar cycles then you also believe that these harsh winters are going to become the normal over the next decade and governments and companies need to invest heavily in infrastructure to cope with them.
*Trying to use national borders to explain the behaviour of weather patterns is damn near impossible. Therefore in modern thought the northern and southern hemispheres are both divided into three cells; the Hadley Cell (approx 0-30 latitude), the Ferrel Cell (approx 30-60 latitude) and the Polar Cell (approx 60-90 latitude). Europe and north America (including Canada) are all parts of the Ferrel Cell.
Co-inciding with the start of the Cancun COP16 Summit this was perhaps not the best weather to underline the need for global action on climate change. Although during the same period 42 Israeli's were killed by wild fires in region that has been blighted by drought, Australia's monsoon rains and Colombia's lethal flooding meant that the globes weather was more wet and cold then dry and warm. However these extreme weather patterns are actually fit perfectly in line with current, accepted global warming theory.
Since the early to mid-1980's global temperature's have risen. This warming has caused ice caps, glaciers and other so called ice masses to melt and become water. Once melted this water becomes part of the hydrological cycle and gets circulated between the seas and oceans, the atmosphere and the land. In recent years this global warming has made sure that this water remains as water meaning that when it falls from the atmosphere back to the land it does so as rain rather then snow. However in 2008 a solar cycle ended dramatically reducing the amount of heat emitted from the sun causing global temperatures to drop sharply. This caused increased snowfall in 2009 because generally speaking sea water is better at retaining heat then the land so when rain clouds moved from the warm sea onto the cold land they froze meaning that the water fell out of them as snow rather then rain.
In 2010 there was the added problem that a stream of air, commonly know as the jet stream moved. This meant that the warm air that normally flows across the eastern United States, the Atlantic ocean and western Europe was diverted south across the Mediterranean and on to the middle east. This then created a vacuum into which very cold Arctic air flowed further cooling the land and turning all that rain into snow.
So while it might be hard to believe all these blizzards and record low temperatures within the Ferrel cell* are actually pretty conclusive proof of global warming. Regardless of what some fools at the University of East Anglia might say the increased amount of rain and snow demonstrate that global ice masses have actually melted. Assuming that we've ruled out magic as a cause this melting proves that global temperatures have increased.
With the fact of global warming conclusively proved the only debate left is what to do about it. If you believe that global warming is the product of human greenhouse gas emissions then we obviously need to find some way to cut those emissions. However if you believe that global warming is solely caused by unpredictable solar cycles then you also believe that these harsh winters are going to become the normal over the next decade and governments and companies need to invest heavily in infrastructure to cope with them.
*Trying to use national borders to explain the behaviour of weather patterns is damn near impossible. Therefore in modern thought the northern and southern hemispheres are both divided into three cells; the Hadley Cell (approx 0-30 latitude), the Ferrel Cell (approx 30-60 latitude) and the Polar Cell (approx 60-90 latitude). Europe and north America (including Canada) are all parts of the Ferrel Cell.
Monday, 27 December 2010
So That Was Christmas
And now we get straight on to New Years. Due to my slightly unconventional family we actually get to stretch the traditional one day Christmas celebration into three or four days and we enjoyed them. We ate too much, drank too much and gave each other presents, some of which were better then others. Now it's all over though I can't help but admit that I'm getting a little bit bored.
We didn't have this problem last year because some Nigerian tried to blow up a plane over Detroit and I got to briefly tangle with the anti-terrorist police as they went to raid his London flat. In 2008 Israel launched Operation Cast Lead against Gaza which led to a 24 day war that killed close to 1500 people. This year there's been nothing and seeing as don't know much about politics in the Ivory Coast I am a bit of a loose end.
I suppose there's always the JoAnna Yeates story but personally I don't see what all the fuss is about. The Brits agreed to pay the penalty clause on October 12th 2010 and re-affirmed that commitment on November 3rd. In fact I only bring the matter up because now we've had the week long search for the missing woman and Christmas day discovery of her body the investigation is now focusing on Bristol's Clifton Suspension Bridge. For those of you who don't follow these sort of things the Clifton Suspension Bridge is a very famous suicide spot which is why it is covered by dozens of CCTV cameras and patrolled 24 hours a day by security guards. So focusing on it looks a lot like an attempt to assist a suicide. That's a shame because if we have to ruin the Christmas of a woman associated with the Wellcome Trust I thought we should start with Kara Tointon. After all it's not like she can actually read this.
Oh well there's always DVD's I suppose.
We didn't have this problem last year because some Nigerian tried to blow up a plane over Detroit and I got to briefly tangle with the anti-terrorist police as they went to raid his London flat. In 2008 Israel launched Operation Cast Lead against Gaza which led to a 24 day war that killed close to 1500 people. This year there's been nothing and seeing as don't know much about politics in the Ivory Coast I am a bit of a loose end.
I suppose there's always the JoAnna Yeates story but personally I don't see what all the fuss is about. The Brits agreed to pay the penalty clause on October 12th 2010 and re-affirmed that commitment on November 3rd. In fact I only bring the matter up because now we've had the week long search for the missing woman and Christmas day discovery of her body the investigation is now focusing on Bristol's Clifton Suspension Bridge. For those of you who don't follow these sort of things the Clifton Suspension Bridge is a very famous suicide spot which is why it is covered by dozens of CCTV cameras and patrolled 24 hours a day by security guards. So focusing on it looks a lot like an attempt to assist a suicide. That's a shame because if we have to ruin the Christmas of a woman associated with the Wellcome Trust I thought we should start with Kara Tointon. After all it's not like she can actually read this.
Oh well there's always DVD's I suppose.
Saturday, 25 December 2010
Good Evenings
I'd like to tell you that Christmas has ended but clearly I've got another two to three days until my blood/alcohol mix has become more of an alcohol/blood mix. So while we're waiting for that to happen let's have a look at the days news.
- Dutch Terror Plot. In the Netherlands the authorities have raided a number of internet cafe's and arrested a number of Somali men on Al Qeda related terror charges. The other day I went into a Somali owned internet cafe and did something with computers. As soon as the Dutch worked out exactly what I did it would be nice if they could tell me.
- Pakistani Terror Blasts. Around 40 people have been killed in a suicide attack in Pakistan. I don't mean to be racist but wouldn't it be easier if the Pakistanis told us when they'd had a day without a terror bomb attack.
- Indian Satellite Fail. An Indian rocket which was trying to launch a communications satellite into orbit exploded shortly after take off. No-one was killed.
- Wombling Gone. The creator of British children's TV show"The Wombles", Elisa Beresford, died today in her Channel Island's home. She was 84 a fulfills a great British tradition of celebrities dying on Christmas day.
- Dr Who Christmas Special. Somewhere between the references to the huge number of complaints the BBC received about Amy Pond's skirt and firefly this was mainly a campaign by the BBC's orchestras to maintain their funding. In short it was a bit rubbish.
- Bristol Death. Police in Bristol, UK have discovered the body of a young woman. We will all now desperately await news of whether it is the body of Joanna Yeates who went missing in the Bristol area about a week ago.
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