Ladies and Gentlemen Stage One has been completed.

Following Britain's multiple and varied acts of fraud, Anti-Social Behaviour and crimes against humanity I put them on a sort of twelve step rehabilitation program after the completion of which they may once again be considered members of a civilised society. I am proud to report that they have just completed the first stage of this program by finally paying out on my incapacity benefit claim. Of course they've failed to send out the correct paperwork or award the full figure I am entitled too under law and the figure they've arrived at falls far, far below the compromise figure but to see even a flicker of progress in what has previously been such a hopeless case can't help but fill me with joy. Besides my war chest has just grown.

All this means that my local Croydon council have now been granted permission to receive another benefit claim to bring my income up to that compromise figure. This claim will be a little unconventional but I suggest they authorise it with the minimum of fuss because I can submit a much more conventional one but that will incur out of pocket expenses that will triple the compromise figure. Personally I think this is a much fairer way to go about things because rather then drawing money out of the central DWP budget which will punish the sick and disabled it will draw money out of Croydon's local budget punishing an establishment that has continued to behave immorally and illegally despite numerous warnings. Of course it is now up to the people of Croydon to decide if they would like to take that punishment collectively through increased taxes and public services or whether it should be targeted against the guilty parties through cuts to individual salaries and pensions.

I'm sorry if this all sounds cold, calculating, vicious and violent but the people I'm dealing with have proved time and time again that they will not hesitate to deny medical treatment to the old and innocent, torture and murder babies for fun and offer plea bargains to paedophiles in return from drugging and kidnapping little girls so sadly they're so thick violence is the only language they understand.