Muppet, Muppet & Thrice Muppet!

It's around 15:25 on 31/7/12 and being an alternate Tuesday I am back from the supermarket late for reasons that I will explain shortly once I've put the shopping away.

15:30. Despite being born into the business my father has still yet to work out that if he tells all his friends that he's going to sitting there waiting for the Equestrian event at the London Olympics to finish before going to the supermarket the organisers are going to drag the event out of as long as possible in order to control the time he leaves. This allows the local network to make sure that all their people are in the supermarket behaving like volunteers for very late term abortions in order to make the trip as busy and stressful as possible. That's why everybody's mobile phones suddenly got jammed at exactly the same point.

On the plus side though it does give the opportunity to explain the front-page of yesterday's (30/7/12) "The Sun" newspaper. Under the headline "Baby Killer" this told a story about a Muslim G4s security guard at the Lords cricket ground Olympic venue who apparently got into a screaming match with a soldier in which he called the soldier a baby killer. Now in the midst of the phone hacking scandal I don't wish to further damage the reputation of Britain's tabloid press but I think it's safe to say that this incident never happened and the entire story was made up. I wouldn't blame the newspaper too much though because along with the rest of Britain's news media since the start of the phone hacking scandal the state has more influence on their output then their editorial teams.

The idea was that along with the story about the missing Olympic keys and the auction of Sir Jimmy Saville's stuff this would create a Monday of confusion after I disappeared from view on Sunday night amid rumours of me having a big fight with my father. In the end they had to cut my Internet connection off but I still think I managed to deal with that before the paper had left the printers.

15:45 on 31/7/12.