Well The Referee Fucked That Right Up

with a little help from Defoe.

Germany have just destroyed England 4-1 at the World Cup.

In the first half it was almost as if the England team hadn't bothered to turn up. Germany went ahead through Klose in the 20th minute with a goal that a school boy team would have been ashamed to concede. Germany's goalkeeper just kicked it up the field all the way up the striker who controlled the ball then put it straight into the England goal. Then 12 minutes later neat German passing unlocked to England defence and Podolski made it 2-0 after 30 minutes.

Then England suddenly started playing football and Upson was able to score a traditional English defenders header on 35 minutes. One minute later Lampard scored a fantastic goal from about 30 yards out. It beat the German keeper, smashed into the cross bar and crossed the goal line by a good two feet. For some reason the referee didn't give the goal.

By the time the second half had begun the England players knew the referee had made a mistake, the German players knew the referee had made a mistake, everybody in the stadium and possibly on the planet knew that the referee had made a mistake. Most importantly the referee knew he'd made a mistake so we were all waiting for one England player to get into the the penalty area and then fall over so the referee could award a penalty and harmony would be restored. Jermaine Defoe could even fucking manage to get that right. Muller then went on to score two more goals for Germany in the in 67th and 70th minutes but by that point I'd stopped watching the TV and started swearing at it.

Now with all of England's infamous football hooligans being prevented from travelling to South Africa I expect everything to be quiet over there. We are though taking bets on which bit of England is going to explode into violence first. My money's on Leeds.