Sorry Did I Not Mention the Cocaine ?

Anyway since the screaming horror that is known as now and the time where I eventually fall asleep I've been watching Big Brother.

On Friday (9/7) three new housemates entered the house. The first thing I've noticed is that they brought news from the outside world. This is mainly comprised of every bad thing I've ever said about this current bunch of housemates. This has specifically hit Ife hard an Caomhie a lot harder. For John-James it has brought special winter news from his friends and family down in Australia. This has hardened his cock towards Josie and his face towards Peter Andre. Josie has also been awarded with a baseball cap that makes her look like Jo form the band S-Club-7. As Jo was a co-conspirator from the series of Celebrity Big Brother that saw Jade Goody horribly racially abuse Shilpa Shetty this is an obvious attempt to reach out to big gay Indians.

As for the new housemates apart from dividing the house they have sought permission from ex-soldier Steve and gone to bed. As such I can only describe the new black girl as; "That scouse bitch that looks like Miqueta Oliver." However the other two are more formally known as;

• Andrew. 19, white, straight. This ginger child passed his advanced level maths exam at the age of 11. Since then he's had a vague history before turning up at Oxford university to do his undergraduate work at the age of 19. Like Raoul Moat he is ginger. Taken alongside Steve's mohawk (just like Roaul Moat) this gives the deliberate impression that the producers put them into the show in a major panic about the Tyneside shootings.

• Keely. 2ish, white, straight. Trashy blonde northern woman who reminds me of a number of people including my teenage sister, a TV starlet and social worker who I met in a totally unprofessional manner. However the most important thing you need to remember about her is that she is like a lot of women in northern midlands area of the UK and works as a travel agent. Now the Queen has decreed that all of her subjects must now take their holidays within the UK the Brits are really going to have to retrain this bitch for something in the health and social care sector.

Something, something funny but in the stress Mario is turning into Dave. Tonight we've learnt that Dave is a small, ugly Welshman but he's a man with a small and Welsh cock.

At the end of this post I think that extra points hould go out to Blogspot for insisting that mohawk is spelt with a capital M.