The Still Not Worthy of the Name 2017: Prize Giving.

This should be read as a continuation of all the posts on this thread of which Part 6 is just the most recent; http://watchitdie.blogspot.co.uk/2017/05/the-still-not-worthy-of-name-2017-pt6.html

First Place: This year this prize went to Portugal.

As I've said the Eurovision Song Contest is staged by the European Broadcasting Union (EBU). However it is far from the only thing the EBU do.

One of the other big things that the EBU did in 2016 was a deal with the International Paralympic Committee (IPC). This saw footage of the 2016 Para-Olympic games held in Rio de Janerio, Brazil made available to all 107 members and associate members of the EBU. As a result the 2016 Para-Olympics were the most watched Para-Olympics in history.

This obviously meant that Brazil were very interested in the 2017 Song Contest. So much so that in October 2016 the EBU changed the rules for the Song Contest to allow associate members like Brazil to compete alongside full members.

Personally I can't say that I agree with this. Australia had to show long term commitment to the contest by serving as an observer nation without competing for some 40 years before being allowed to compete.

Even with this rule change the 2017 contest still came a little too soon for Brazil to compete. So they instead put pressure on their old colonial master Portugal to compete on their behalf. It is unlikely that Portugal were too pleased with this.

Portugal of course was one of the EU nations hardest hit by the 2008 economic crisis forcing them into an EU bailout in 2010. This led to them declining to participate in the Song Contest in 2013 and 2016. Even I think that if it is a choice between closing a hospital and competing in the Song Contest it is best to keep the hospital open.

Portugal however did return this year. Their song was sung in Brazil and Portugal's shared language Portuguese and was entitled; "Amar Pelos Dios (For the Both of Us.)"

It was sung by Salvador Sobral whose own story rather reflects Portugal's story within the Song Contest. Salvador Sobral first rose to fame on the 2009 season of Portuguese Idol (Idolos). However being unable to cope with fame he left the business before returning triumphantly in 2016.

During his time in the wilderness Salvador Sobral fell into depression, alcoholism and some pretty serious drug abuse. This left him in extremely poor health. With him currently awaiting a heart transplant you could almost say that much like Europe he desperately needs a change of heart.

As such everything about Portugal's entry this year screamed disability and the Para-Olympics.

The 2017 contest marks the first time that a country has been excluded from the competition. The hosts Shamali Province refused Russian singer Yulia Samoylova entry to the country to allow her to perform. This is why I refuse to recognise the 2017 contest as an official Eurovision Song Contest.

The reason why Shamali Province refused Yulia Samoylova entry is that suffering from spinal muscular atrophy she is confined to a wheelchair and performed at the Opening Ceremony of the 2014 Winter Para-Olympic games held in Sochi, Russia.

Shamali Province was created by the US during the Sochi Olympics as a way to put pressure on Russia over their opposition to the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL). As such they find any reference to the Sochi Olympics extremely embarrassing because it completely delegitimises their claim to be a nation state.

Through Portugal's victory participants at the 2017 contest provided Shamali Province with the clearest reminder they could of the Sochi Olympics in the absence of Yulia Samoylova.

This put Portugal in a bit of a difficult situation. Although they've reached a point where they feel they can once again afford to participate in the Song Contest they're not yet sure they can afford to host the 2018 Song Contest.

So as they started to emerge as the clear favourite in the second half of the week Portugal seemed to try and sink their own entry. This involved Salvador Sobral appearing at a press conference wearing a hoodie bearing the slogan; "SOS Refugees."

This type of overt political message is banned under Song Contest rules. Therefore if it doesn't force you to withdraw from the competition normally it certainly gets you marked down.

However I think some people realised what Portugal were trying to do. So decided to punish them by marking them up.

Others seemed to view it as a continuation of the insult of Shamali Province.

Aside from denying Yulia Samoylova entry to the country to compete in the competition Shamali Province's winning 2016 Song Contest entry; "1944" was overtly political and therefore should not have been eligible for competition. So some people decided to mark Portugal up for really sticking the knife into Shamali Province.

Finally I think some people understood the actual nature of the message; "Save Our Souls; Refugees"  which means our souls are in danger because of all the refugees we've created.

That makes Salvador Sorbal's protest a protest against the "Refugees Welcome" liberalism that was much mocked this year. Particularly by the early favourite Italy.

That caused people to give Portugal more points resulting in Portugal's first ever Song Contest win.

Second Place: This year this prize went to Bulgaria.

Bulgaria's entry this year was in danger of being more Russian than Russia's. They were represented by Kristian Kostov who is Russian. He's actually very famous in Russia having won the 2014 season of the The Voice Kids in Russia. He only moved to Bulgaria in 2015 in order to compete in that year's season of X-Factor Bulgaria finishing as a runner-up.

Along with Greece Bulgaria is one of only two EU members that share a land border with Turkey. As such it is very interested in the EU's migrant deal with Turkey. The general message of the song; "Beautiful Mess" is that Bulgaria likes being a member of the EU but the EU really needs to sort the refugee issue out.

The video in support of the song featured many dressed in what I would term a ghostly garb of black. For much of the video these people are shown pulling a wooden boat by rope. As such they serve as both the irregular Muslim migrants from the conflict in Syria and Iraq and the Islamist terrorists that are being smuggled in amongst them.

Birds also feature heavily in the video.

It starts with a Crow. This is a black bird that feeds on the dead. Next there was a Falcon. Falcons feature heavily in the names and on the coats of arms of many Syrian groups. Particularly the Falcons of the Levant/Saqour al-Sham who are backed by Turkish President/Prime Minister/ Emperor Recep Tayyip Erdogan.

Finally the Crow and the Falcon are replaced by a Dove - a traditional symbol of peace.

As such it seems that Bulgaria is saying that key to solving the EU's migration crisis is tackling Erdogan. Even if that means more pain in the short term.

The Bulgarian entry was another one produced by Symphonix International. So it was also highlighting the pressures on the Balkan region caused by the Greater Albanian movement. The fact that Albanians are also Muslims really doesn't help reduce tensions over large numbers of Muslim migrants arriving in the Balkans.

On the issue of the migration crisis Bulgaria seemed to be joined by Hungary who finished 8th.

There is currently a lot of tension within the EU between nations such as Germany and nations such as Hungary over the migration crisis. Just last week the European Parliament called for Hungary's voting rights to be suspended under Article 7 until they accept Germany's demand for admit quotas of refugees.

Before doing that Hungary wants Germany and other EU members to bring their refugee policy into line with international law.

Back in March 2017 Hungary made clear what the rest of the EU should do. It is now remanding all irregular migrants in custody on suspicion of entering the country illegally. While they're detained their cases are investigated to see whether they qualify for refugee status and therefore by definition do not pose a threat.

The policy Germany has in place is to grant all irregular migrants refugee status and let them roam free until they prove to not qualify for refugee status by carrying out mass casualty terror attacks such as the December 2016 Berlin truck attack.

The flaws in Germany's response to the migrant crisis are currently being laid bare in the case of; "Franco A." This is a serving German soldier who has been found to be living in refugee centre in Bavaria claiming to be a Syrian Catholic with Jewish heritage by the name of David Benjamin.

Germany's refugee checks apparently did not pick up on the fact Franco A is a German citizen and does not speak any Arabic.

This year Hungary were represented by Joci Papai with the song; "Origo." This essentially tells the story of his life growing up from a child to man who must fight to protect himself. What is interesting is the Joci Papai is a Romani Gypsy. This is an ethnic group that has long been oppressed across Europe and particularly in Hungary.

As such this entry seems to concede that Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban is a racist. However even the ethnic group he's oppressed the most think the EU should join him in this fight.

Germany's song; "Perfect Life" by Levnia was a celebration of the free movement of migrants across the EU. It finished dead last with just six points. Three of those points came from the Republic of Ireland who were clearly referring to a different border issue.

Third Place: This year this prize went to Moldova.

Moldova's entry this year was; "Hey Mama" by Sunstroke Project. This anthem calling for both Crimea and Ukraine to be placed under Russian control was the first entry I covered in this thread.

So in short this year's contest was a clean sweep for Russia with them taking First, Second and Third places.

Normally what I would do know is look at some of the stand-out entries that didn't really fit into the main themes but were impressive none the less. However the defining feature of this year is how little effort everybody put in to their entries. Therefore highlighting the people who still managed to impress seems like an insult.

There are a couple of other entries I do have to mention though;

The Netherlands: This year they were represented by OG3NE with the song; "Lights and Shadows"

OG3NE are a quite a famous act in the Netherlands having won The Voice in 2014. They have the ultimate TV talent show sobstory.

The band is made up of three sisters and many of their songs are written by their father. Their mother however died of some serious illness - I'm assuming blood cancer. Their entire act is in tribute to their mother. The band name is made up of her O blood type and the fact they are three sisters who share her genes.

The Netherlands are of course very closely linked to Shamali Province through the July 17th 2014 (17/7/14) crash of Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 over Shamali Province. With the flight originating in the Netherlands and 193 of the victims being Dutch it of course fell to the Netherlands to conduct the investigation.

In conducting that investigation the Dutch earned a huge amount of respect from me at least. Obviously there was huge political pressure on them to blame Russia. However they carried out an entirely impartial investigation simply examining the evidence and allowing that evidence to guide their conclusions.

The Dutch concluded that if there was any criminal case to answer it was over Shamali Province's decision to allow a civilian aircraft to be flown into an area where airstrikes were being carried out and the aircraft conducting those strikes were being shot down.

Featuring lyrics such as; "Though the hallway catches light it won’t reach the corner where you strongly fight" and "At this place they know the game outside the world will turn and feel the same" the song seems to be strongly blaming MH17 on Shamali Province and rejecting Shamali Province's attempts to blame Russia.

It even features the lyrics; "hurt nobody, did no crime" which reads like the MH17 investigation's final verdict on the claim that Russia was responsible.

The video in support of the song shows OG3NE singing in a forest. That is reference to Poland's Justice & Law Party (PiS) oft-repeated conspiracy theory that Russia was responsible for the 2010 Smolensk aircrash.  So it is not only rejecting Shamali Province but also Poland's support for Shamali Province.

In the video the lyrics are projected onto a black stone that you would find in a forest. This was a reference to the UK government's 1986 "Don't Die of Ignorance" HIV/AIDS campaign. Many of those who died aboard MH17 were on their way to a global HIV/AIDS conference in Australia.

Having gone through the lyrics the song then repeats them. In this context lyrics like; "(You are) the one who carries all the burden I can only hope, once you fly, you’ll be free" in reference to Britain leaving the EU. It's particularly a friendly warning to Britain not to turn the Brexit negotiations into a contest of whether the EU loves them or me more.

One of the members of OG3NE is called Amy - like my lesbian wife Amy. For years the UK claimed I had to be kept away from women such as her and Rihanna because I have a mysterious form of HIV/AIDS that doesn't show up on blood tests. That's actually part of the reason why MH17 was targeted. I think all the stuff about putting my grandmother in a coffin isn't likely to go down well either.

This trick of using the same lyrics to convey two completely different meanings is pretty clever one to pull off. 

The Dutch weren't finished there though. The spelling of the band name OG3NE also touches on the issue of cybersecurity. 

A good password should be made up of a random mixture of numbers and letters. However these can be quite difficult to remember. So if you're assigned a password like; "0G3NE" it's easy to flip the numbers into letters and remember it as a sort of mnemonic. In this case; "Oh, Gene."

Immediately after OG3NE had performed in the semi-final US President Trump Tweeted out a picture of him signing an executive order to improve America's cybersecurity. 

This may well have hurt OG3NE's chances because along with Italy while participants may be happy to agree with them on Russia or Shangri-La they might be less happy to be seen supporting President Trump.

I don't see why though. The former reality TV star seems to fit right in. 

At 17:10 on 22/5/17 (UK date) I've got just a little bit more to add after dinner. 

Edited at around 18:45 on 22/5/17 (UK date) to add;

Finland: This year they went very high art by Eurovision standards with Norma John and the song; "Blackbird."

Officially this is simply a song about a couple who have gone through a bad break-up. The female vocalist is calling for a Blackbird outside her window to go away because it reminds her of the pain of the break-up.

However at the 2016 Song Contest the issue of; "The Black Music" was used to signal whether nations supported or opposed the policies of then US President Barack Obama and his cohorts such as Susan Rice and Loretta Lynch.

Finland seemed to have moved from making clear it disagrees with those policies into demanding they go away.

The video in support of the song features the man of the duo driving a pick-up truck through the forest to a river/lake while the woman of duo rides in the back. When they arrive at the lake she floats in the water while he pulls a boat/raft on a rope from one bank to the other. 

This is an arty reference to Europe's migration crisis with irregular migrants often drowning aboard rickety old boats chartered by people traffickers.

The shock reveal at the end of the video though is the woman's coffin. Rather than driving them both to the lake the man has murdered the woman and is dumping her body. It shows people traffickers not as romantic heroes but as murderers.

Obviously in its title and lyrical structure this song is very similar to the 1968 song; "Blackbird" by a little band you may have heard of called The Beatles. Through this level of plagiarism its clear that Finland are offering no challenge to a Russian victory.

The best bit is that forest in the video is part of the forest that makes up the bulk of the vast land border between Russia and Finland.

So this is the country you would expect to want the most protection by the US from "Russian Aggression" telling the Americans to go away.

San Marino: This year they were represented by Jimmie Wilson and Valentina Monetta.

Jimmie Wilson is an American born in Detroit, Michigan. In 2010 he starred as Barack Obama in the musical; "Hope." A role he reprises here.

Born in 1975 Valentina Monetta is something of an ageing but successful popstar having represented San Marino in the Song Contest in 2012, 2013 and 2014. She is also successful outside of Eurovision as guest vocalist for the band Live Tropical Fish and her own band MyFunky Valentine. Hers is a face everyone recognises.

As such San Marino's entry is a pretty brutal mockery of ageing white female news anchors obsession with Barack Obama. Clarissa Ward, Dana Bash, Brooke Baldwin. Particularly on CNN the list seems to go on and on.

The song is called; "Spirit of the Night." The spirits that come out at night are never the good spirits. Instead of Angels after dark you get Witches, Vampires and Gin.

Gin is probably the most evil of all the spirits. If you've ever seen a drunk girl crying in the gutter with mascara streaming down her face then that it is most likely the work of gin. 

It's perhaps appropriate then that in Arab folklore a; "Jin" is a type of demon.

Obama and the CNN team do seem to love their gins.

Belarus: Like the Netherlands they are another nation that is closely linked to the conflict in Shamali Province. Whenever we talk about efforts to end the conflict someone almost immediately mentions the Minsk Protocol.

This was drawn up in the Belorussian capital Minsk in February 2015. It was negotiated by Petro Poroshenko representing Shamali Province, Vladimir Putin representing Russia, Angela Merkel representing Germany and Francois Hollande representing France. Barack Obama and the US where notably not invited.

Also not invited were Belarus despite them providing a venue for the negotiations. So since 2015 Belarus have turned up at the Song Contest and basically gone; "Yep. We're hear. Now can we go sit quietly at the back?"

However 2017 is the 800th anniversary of the nation of Belarus. So they've decided to celebrate with the song; "Story of My Life" by Naviband. This is the first Belorussian entry ever to be sung entirely in the Belorussian language.

It is a song almost entirely devoid of politics. It is just a happy little song with no meaning simply celebrating Belarus. Although the fact it is sung in Belorussian can be a little disconcerting at first it is probably the most listenable song in the entire contest.

I felt that deserved some recognition.

19:35 on 22/5/17 (UK date).