I Have Returned. I Have Returned. I Have Returned.

It's around 22:50 on 30/3/12 and my home Internet connection is working perfectly.

One possible explanation for this is that I've been out for a boozy dinner to celebrate my brother's birthday. This was an event of such immense national importance that it began with a phone call from Sky News booking my brother for a spot at 08:30 tomorrow to discuss the public health drive against smoking. Of course apart from my brother and my mother the other dinner guest was my other mother who is one of the civil servants who actually wrote the UK smoking ban. As a result the evenings conversation took a distinctly medical turn. After another lengthy lecture on the dangers of smoking we moved on to a discussion about HIV/AIDS as it relates to the recent announcement about the UK's Dementia strategy. Eventually though we got into a story about how the Chief Executive of Croydon University Hosptial (CUH) Chris Hulme - who I named in my grandmother's Court of Protection case - resigned shortly afterwards under a cloud and how the Croydon Advertiser (local) newspaper has rightly taken his side.

Then the Opera singer turned up which kind of killed conversation. It was just after I kissed her full on the lips that we decided that I was a bit drunk and the atmosphere in the restaurant changed. However after sitting outside for a cigarette for a while I returned to hear my mother explain how BBC1 have been filming a drama in CUH and she got in a little bit of trouble for telling off a nurse who looked a bit like Jo Brand for smoking because it turns out it was just Jo Brand.

So all in all a good night.