Unbelieveable!

No not the fact that it's a Tuesday night and I've come back from the pub, a little bit drunk, to discover that everything is OK. Instead it is today that once again the momentous event of me having my haircut has once again occurred. While it was a severe haircut I'm not going to tell you where I had it done for a reason that is about to become immediately obvious.

According to the gossip since my last visit one of the women who works in the salon has picked up her very own stalker. Apparently some middle-aged man has been following her about and loitering outside her children's school. The local police have been informed but as usual don't appear to be making any progress. Now like bar staff hairdressing is one of those professions where some customer's can get a little bit confused about the social boundary between staff and customer so this might have absolutely nothing to do with me. However it is also possible that someone in the council has got some weirdo to terrorise this woman in order to start the rumour that I've got someone to intimidate her in revenge for her giving me a bad haircut. Although I would dispute the fact that she's ever given me a bad haircut I'm the sort of man who will walk home caked in his own vomit so I think it's fair to say that a bad haircut is not the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me.

In related news British Telecom (BT) have removed the telegraph pole outside my house. Officially this has been done due to some "new technical specifications" however I think it was done because the pole was blocking the sight line from my grandmother's house to the council spy living across the road. Also we've been going through another episode of the long saga with the British Gas maintenance engineers. The next episode is coming tomorrow morning but as no-one's actually been blown up yet that's probably a story that needs to be told in more detail at a later date.

In television news yesterday some amateurs tried a smash and grab robbery on a jewellers in some rubbish British town. A passing old lady took one look and decided they were a bunch of amateurs so decided to stop the robbery by clattering them over the head with her handbag. While I think there may be some element of Britain raising questions about a spate of similar robbery's in London I think it would be more useful to interview the bunch amateurs rather then the old lady.