Anarchists to Ruin Royal Wedding.

On the one day when i didn't get time to buy a newspaper The Sun newspaper ran this story as a front page exclusive. Apparently they'd infiltrated a top secret meeting of British anarchists and uncovered plans to ruin April's Royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton. Proving that you can't always believe what you read in the papers the Sun's reporting was very different from the accounts I've heard of the same meeting.

As you may have noticed Britain is in a very difficult financial position with earnings and livings standards falling at rates not seen since the 1920's - a period in British economic history where things got so bad the great depression of the 1930's was actually considered a marked improvement. As a result protests and widespread civil unrest is expected. In order to monitor and control this unrest Britain's security service, MI5 have set up an organisation known as "Network X" to suck in those who may have been radicalised by November's "Day X" student protests. Network X held it's second open, public meeting in Manchester about a month ago. Most of those in attendance were undercover police officers and members of front organisations like the Socialist Workers Party (SWP) along with a few students and people associated with Climate Camp. However some of the larger anarchist groups did send low level delegations to the meeting.

The keynote speaker at the event was a man called Chris Knight who you may remember as the organiser of the London G20 kettle and the man who brought you the 2010 Democracy Village which helped engineer the coalition between the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats. Mr Knight used his speech to outline a frankly ridiculous plan to disrupt the Royal wedding. The main idea was that a week before the wedding groups of protesters would storm and occupy key strategic locations including the Royal Courts of Justice, several central London police stations and the Wellington Army Barracks located next to Buckingham Palace. Then assuming that the defeat of the British army within it's own capital city didn't mean that the Royal wedding was cancelled further groups of protesters would hide amongst the crowds only to spring out and block the path of the Royal convoy with barricades and smoke bombs before storming Westminster Abbey.

After a period of consensus based, non-hierarchical decision making and, quite frankly, giggling the anarchists announced that they would be prepared to help Mr Knight's plan by organising a protest featuring over 100 naked prostitutes danced around and giant penis. This is of course a creative and polite way of saying that Chris Knight is a massive cock. He started his career as part of the governments university counter-extremism screening program and when the economic crisis struck he got promoted into organising protests that serve the state's anti-protest agenda. The most depressing part of his story is that he doesn't even get paid for his work because the boost he gets to his tiny little ego is reward enough for him.