Zimbabwe: A COP23 Perspective.

Yesterday (15/11/17) Robert Mugabe retired from his role as President of Zimbabwe.

Very much the father of the nation Robert Mugabe is the only President that Zimbabwe has ever known. As such discussing the nature of his retirement requires you to go a very long way back in history.

From the 14th Century through to really the start of the 20th Century the European nations were in grip of the idea of; "Colonialism." That is to say they would travel the World establishing colonies and then suck those colonies dry for the benefit of a small European elite.

Probably one of the most famous of these colonies is what is now known as the United States of America (USA). They rebelled against their British colonial oppressors in 1776.

The nations of Portugal, the Netherlands and Britain were particularly interested in Southern Africa. Aside from its vast mineral resources in the days before the building of the Suez Canal Africa's Cape of Good Hope was the key logistical hub for ships travelling between the eastern and western hemispheres.

In 1870 a young British man by the name of Cecil John Rhodes arrived in Africa's southern cape. Despite briefly returning to the UK to study at Oxford University Cecil Rhodes spent most of his time buying up diamond mines. In 1888 he founded the De Beers diamond mining cartel.

In 1889 Cecil Rhodes used his role within De Beers to form the British South Africa Company (BSAC). With a Royal Charter from the British Crown BSAC's role was to take control of an exploit all the resources across southern Africa. Rather like the more famous British East India Company BSAC acted as a law unto itself with its own police force and army.

Almost immediately following its formation the British South Africa Corporation tried to seize control over the diamond fields in the Transvaal region of what is now known as the Republic of South Africa. This plunged them into a war against the descendants of Dutch colonialists known as the Boer who had settled the area as farmers.

By 1902 the BSAC had won this Second Boer War. This established as the area under its control what are now considered the nations of Botswana, South Africa, Zambia and Zimbabwe. Although it was never an official term this area was known as; "Rhodesia" in honour of Cecil Rhodes.

In 1928 Britain gave what became the Union of South Africa status as an independent nation. Under duress from the Boers. In 1948 the Union of South Africa introduced the formalised system of White Supremacy known as apartheid.

In the 1960's both by what that time were known as Colony of Southern Rhodesia and the Colony of Northern Rhodesia also wanted to become independent states. In order to put pressure on the Boers in the Union of South Africa the British agreed. On condition those colonies ended their versions of apartheid.

The Colony of Northern Rhodesia was fine with this and became the nation of Zambia in 1964.

However the Prime Minister of the Colony of Southern Rhodesia Ian Smith refused to end apartheid. Instead he unilaterally withdrew from the British Empire and declared the independent nation of the Republic of Rhodesia with Salisbury as its capital.

This triggered a complex, three-way war known as;e "The Rhodesian Bush War." On one side you had Ian Smith's Republic of Rhodesia backed by the White Supremacist government of the Union of South Africa.

On another side you had the Zimbabwe African People's Union (ZAPU). The were backed by the Soviet Union as part of their; "Arc of Resistance" which also included the Kurdistan Workers Party (PKK), Irish National Liberation Army (INLA) and Nelson Mandela's African National Congress (ANC).

Britain however decided to pick a third side. The Zimbabwe African National Union -Patriotic Front (ZANU-PF). They were led by Robert Mugabe.

In 1979 the ZANU-PF won the Bush War. In 1980 the independent nation of Zimbabwe was formed, Salisbury became Harare and Robert Mugabe President.

Britain backed the ZANU-PF on the assumption that upon becoming President Mugabe would immediately bring Zimbabwe back into what by that time had become the British Commonwealth.

Mugabe though saw things differently. He was going to run Zimbabwe for the benefit of the Zimbabwean people rather than for the benefit of a small British elite. He even merged the ZANU-PF with the ZAPU.

Obviously that sort of dangerous thinking could not go unpunished. So pretty much since 1980 Britain has been trying to oust Mugabe and replace him with an obedient little house boy.

Britain's main weapon in this effort has been economic. The thinking being that if Britain can destroy Zimbabwe's economy its people will rise up in some sort of colour revolution.

In order to achieve this Britain established a vast network of fake civil society and human rights groups to invent accusations. Those fake accusations are then used to impose sanctions.

Even the most well run democracy relies on a degree of patronage and vote buying. In America they refer to this as; "Pork."

Next week the UK will unveil its annual budget. As a result British politics is just grubby MP's grasping for a pay-off to consolidate their position with voters.

Probably the most bizarre example is Carlyn Harris' demand for a Child Funeral Fund. Which makes you wonder how much this Labour MP has tied up in child sized coffins.

Within Zimbabwe probably the most powerful constituency demanding patronage is the ZANU-PF veterans of the Bush War. Even in an absolutely Monarchy people who kill and die for their leader expect to be paid.

By tangling the Zimbabwean economy up in sanctions the UK has been trying to make it impossible for Mugabe to pay out the normal patronage governments have to deal with.

In the absence of hard cash Mugabe has instead offered a piece of Zimbabwe's natural resources. In 2000 he started handing out parts of Zimbabwe's lucrative farming sector.

Mugabe's retirement has come during the final week of the 23rd Conference of Parties (COP23) to the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC).

In this age of the Paris Agreement it seems strange talking about the goals of the UNFCCC. It's almost as if you're reeling off a long list of things that will now never happen.

However prior to the UNFCCC's long suicide note much of the talk was about aiding less developed nations - particularly those in Africa - leapfrog over the fossil fuel stage of their economic development by providing them with green technology.

Those less developed nations main concern is that this leapfrogging hurts their ability to meet their other main developmental challenge - providing jobs.

At its most basic level something like coal mining is just smashing rocks with hammers. Therefore to provide that job a government doesn't also have to provide the same level of education you need to became something like a wind turbine maintenance engineer.

Although not strictly speaking coal mining one of the case studies frequently used to illustrate this point is the 2012 strike action by  platinum miners in Marikana, South Africa. This is in the Transvaal area that Rhodes' British South Africa Company fought the Boers over in 1889.

Many of the Marikana miners have no formal education and can barely read or write. However in 2012 they took strike action to increase their pay. This was to allow their children to go to school so they could get a job outside of mining or one of the more sophisticated jobs within mining.

Obviously if you were to taking mining out of the equation that small, incremental change would not be available to improve the lives of those miners and their families. Hardly something the South African government could sign up to.

Zimbabwe's farms are a prime example of what happens when this delicate process is rushed or goes wrong.

Prior to 2000 Zimbabwe's farms were run by extremely racist white farmers many of whom had emigrated from Britain to join Ian Smith. Being big supporters of apartheid they obviously kept their farming knowledge within white communities.

So when Mugabe handed the farms over to black Zimbabweans they lacked the required farming knowledge and the farms failed.

Also I should point out the UNFCCC goes to great lengths to include civil society and human rights groups as stakeholders within the process. The way these groups have been abused by Britain in their efforts to oust Mugabe makes many people extremely wary of them.

By retiring Robert Mugabe has handed control of Zimbabwe to his Vice President Emmerson Mnangagwa. He obviously has a lot of challenges facing him. Including restoring control of Zimbabwe's farms to people who know how to run and operate farms properly.

His more immediate challenge though seems to be consolidating his power. This transition period has already got Britain's grubby little insects like Morgan Tsvangirai scuttling out of the woodwork.

18:25 on 16/11/17 (UK date).

Edited at around 18:50 on 17/11/17 (UK date) to add;

It turns out I'm finally drunk enough to declare a personal interest in all this.

As I said the British Crown backed Mugabe's ZANU-PF in the Bush War in the assumption that he would immediately bring the newly formed nation of Zimbabwe back into what was by then the British Commonwealth.

However if the house boy refused to be obedient they had a plan in place. They would establish a network of white loyalists within the nation to force Mugabe did as he was told.

Part of that network was supposed to include my father and his family. The hope was he would occasionally invite his father - my grandfather - to visit. During the Second World War my grandfather was - amongst other things - the bodyguard to Lord Mountbatten during the signing of the Japanese surrender.

Lord Mountbatten was of course effectively the adoptive father of British Prince Phillip who went on to marry British Queen Elizabeth II. He was killed by the Provisional Irish Republican Army (PIRA) at Sligo Water in 1979.

I never got to meet by grandfather. By all accounts though he was a bit of a big lad. He even managed to keep my very Welsh grandmother in line for a good few years.

The reason why I never got to meet my grandfather is that just before the Zimbabwe plan was meant to go into action I was conceived and he died of a heart attack. As a result the Zimbabwe plan was cancelled.

So apparently it's all my fault Mugabe didn't bring Zimbabwe into the UK Commonwealth. Which nothing else proves Church of England (CoE) 'Protestants' can believe in the Catholic Christian concept of "Original Sin." When it suits them.

Also long term readers may remember that in 2013 I some small legal issues involving an entirely false claim of racially motivated criminal damage. These allegations were thrown out of Court during COP19. My innocence was not even questioned.

However in the summer long process which took us to that point there was a short but serious discussion over whether Zimbabwe would grant me political asylum/refugee status. After all the Zimbabwe High Commission in London is just across the road from a certain police station.

On Wednesday (15/11/17) the Zimbabwe Defence Forces (ZDF) held a parade to congratulate Mugabe on his retirement and his service to the nation. It seems that in part this parade was planned by China.

I understand China's contribution to this parade was to schedule it for during COP23. Their intention being to throw all the above in everyone's faces. The hope being to divert attention from how much they're going to make Climate Change worst by growing ghg's under the terms of the Paris Agreement.

Scheduling aside though I think China's motives were legitimate.

Plans for Robert Mugabe's retirement really began in 1996 when he married Grace Marufu. This gold-digging bitch has absolutely nothing to do with the patriotic war of independence.

They gathered speed in 2015 when Robert Mugabe delivered a speech at the opening of Parliament. It was the same speech he'd given as his state of the nation address just two months earlier. Sadly he got through the entire speech without noticing.

They gathered even more speed when last week Robert Mugabe declared that he had fired Zimbabwe's Vice President Emmerson Mnangagwa. Despite VP Mnangagwa not being present in the meeting in which Robert Mugabe claimed he had fired him.

I gather that tomorrow the Zimbabwean people will also be holding a parade to congratulate Robert Mugabe on his retirement and his service to the nation.

I really hope I don't need to make a joke about them needing to hold another parade about two hours later.

19:15 on 17/11/17 (UK date).