Bromley Church Machete Attack.

Just as I was going to bed earlier this morning (1/8/12) reports started to emerge of a man with a punk-style mohican haircut and a Batman: The Dark Knight Rises - style face mask attacking an elderly Church congregation in the London Borough of Bromley which neighbours the London Borough of Croydon where I live. Apparently all that happened was that the man broke into the church and waved a machete about before someone punched him in the face. After taking him to hospital for treatment for the injuries sustained while being punched in the face the local police scratched their heads for a bit before deciding to charge him with breaking and entering and threatening behaviour which will probably result in him receiving a small fine. I haven't mentioned this before because of time and well it was obvious to me.

The haircut and face mask were deliberately aimed at the USA over the Aurora shooting. The machete being used in a Church is a reference to the sort of everyday violence you get in sub-Saharan Africa in particular Rwanda during the 1994 genocide and Nigeria at the moment. Of course my father and mother were also once involved in a much more serious sword attack at their local Church back in I've honestly forgotten when. The presence of elderly Church congregation could have been a reference to either my grandmother's small London Welsh Church where she met her infamous Barrister Lloyd Lloyd or it could have been a reference to the Whitgift Church in Croydon although I'm not sure you could describe that as a "small Church" considering the multi-million dollar property deals they're involved in. The main purpose of the exercise though was to create speculation that I might have gone-off on one and attacked the current occupants of number 50 Beechwood. This was done in order to cause panic amongst nations visiting for the Olympics and conduct a quick survey about how now a Magistrate has stripped them of their protections under law what levels of force would be acceptable to resolve the situation. While I don't want to dwell on it you may also have heard that with almost perfect co-ordination the Saudi and Qatari Irregular Army (SQIA) have been up to some quite colourful stuff in Syria that also raises questions about what constitutes acceptable force.

This afternoon a Corner's Inquest found that Sean Rigg ( a black man whose death in police custody in 2008 caused a small riot outside Brixton Police Station) died as a result the use of excessive force by the police and a failure of the South London And Maudsley (SLAM) psychiatric hospital - who treated both my sister and grandmother - to properly manage Mr Rigg's schizophrenia. Apart from being yet another attempt to provoke an Olympic riot this was an opportunity to discuss SLAM, police violence, schizophrenia and other mental health issue including some of my antics. My favourite part was a suggestion that "SLAM should be better integrated within the criminal justice system" which is sort of management speak code for Britain asking the Olympic visitor's if they think SLAM et al are going to have to do jail time. Of course the flaw in that plan is that I'm the guy Britain have got to do the deal with.

Oh and also a young black male was stabbed and killed in the south London Borough of Lewisham. I hate to be blunt but this sort of thing has been so routine in south London since probably the Victorian age it's really only because of the Olympics that it made it onto the news.