Fuck You Canada!

For some inexplicable reason yesterday I decided to start watching that copy of V: The New Series my brother gave me on my birthday and it turns out I'm not the one that needs to apologise. My second mistake was to decide to have a day off the booze. As this means my blood can no longer be used as an effective anti-septic so I've now got a bit of a sore throat. And not even the mild fever makes it any better.

So seeing as how my Christmas is now ruined I may as well share the hate;

Kara Tointon is a 27 year old Essex girl who starred in cheapo BBC soap opera "Eastenders." After leaving the role of Dawn Swann in 2009 she struggled to find another acting job. During this time of personal weakness she was approached by people from the Wellcome Trust who managed to convince her that rather then being due to limited acting talent her inability to find work was due to her dyslexia preventing her from learning scripts. She then spent the next three months being poked, prodded, brain scanned and tested by those nice people at the Wellcome trust while a camera crew followed her round, Katie Price style, for a documentary called "Kara Tointon: Don't Call Me Stupid" which was shown on BBC3 and therefore watched by no-one.

After helping to prove that while dyslexia doesn't make you thick thick people can indeed suffer from it Ms Tointon was rewarded with a place on the BBC's Strictly Come Dancing. This is the show that spawned Dancing with the Stars and involves taking celebrities with no experience and training them in ballroom dancing. At the start of the show Kara Tointon was introduced to her government issue husband in the form of her dance partner, Artem Chigvintsev and subjected to the form of physical training that would provide a mountain of data on the possible link between dyslexia and dyspraxia, both of which are considered autism spectrum disorders.

In order to provide further positive re-enforcement Kara Tointon went on to be crowned winner of Strictly Come Dancing 2010 and sadly thinks she's going to be a big star in 2011. While she will get some work because the idea is to hold her up a shining example to enforce the belief in the British public that if they're good little slaves their masters will reward them the plan is that the new husband will be able to shut her up by around September.

Strictly did a similar thing a few years back with alleged pop star, Alesha Dixon who, incidentally, must now be really starting to worry about her seat on the judging panel.

Oh and don't even get me started on N-Dubz. Apparently for their next album they're going to team up with Kaite B to re-record the soundtrack to My Fair Lady.