Last night saw the second semi-final in the 61st Eurovision Song Contest. In response I may have slightly overdone it.
As a result I am far too hung over to come up with a clever paragraph or two to open this post. So let's just get straight on with the nations that didn't make it through to Saturday's (14/5/16) Grand Final. Or at least the ones I can talk about at this stage.
Belarus: For the past two years politics in Europe and therefore at the Song Contest have been dominated by the fighting in what used to be known as Ukraine. In September 2014 an agreement was drawn up in Minsk, the capital of Belarus to end the fighting. This is known as the "Minsk Protocol."
Unfortunately since then the US-backed junta that occupies much of what used to be Ukrainian territory is still refusing the implement the Minsk Protocol. As such the issue continues to dominate the Song Contest for a third year and I am therefore not really at liberty to talk about Belarus' entry at this time.
I will though say that the title; "Help You to Fly" was most certainly a reference to the crash of Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 on July 17th 2014 (17/7/14).
However the purpose was not to mock the 298 people killed. Instead it was to mock the US-backed junta for thinking they could recklessly fly a civilian aircraft into a warzone in the hope they could blame Russia when it got shot down. I think that is an attitude that deserves to be insulted.
It also makes the point that in October 2015 224 Russian civilians were killed when their aircraft was bombed out of the skies over Egypt. Those who complained so vocally about MH17 don't seem in any way bothered by that.
Another big, unmissable theme at this year's Song Contest is the Irregular Migrant/Refugee crisis and the problems it presents in terms of racial integration and social cohesion.
This was pulled into sharp focus in January 2016 when a large group of young men of Arab Muslim heritage carried out a mass of sexual assaults against women attending the New Years Eve celebrations in the German city of Cologne. It prompted lots of discussion about whether young men from Arab Muslim societies which tend to have very conservative attitudes towards nudity and sexuality go a bit sex-mad when they're suddenly thrust into European societies that have much more liberal attitudes.
This is a very Eurovision topic. Every year the organisers have to balance the restrictions on the portrayal of sex and nudity in more that 50 different nations including Arab Muslim societies. To give you an idea also in January 2016 a German TV company sold a show called "Deutcshland 83" to a British broadcaster. It seemed to take great pleasure in mocking the UK's comparatively prudish attitudes towards sex and nudity.
Belarus' contribution to this topic was a demand that their singer IVAN be allowed to perform fully nude on stage. The fact that this was a discussion about male nudity it also touched on the issue of Pinkwashing and the pandering to the Song Contest's large gay male audience.
After some lengthy discussions is was made clear that IVAN would have to wear at least some clothes onstage. If anything he actually almost over-dressed appearing in a white three piece suit. However as a concession Belarus was allowed to start IVAN's performance by projecting a short video onto the backdrop in which he did appear nude provided that his genitals were not on display. In order to comply with that he was down on bended knee and wearing a flesh tone posing pouch/thong.
Rather than going for a video Belarus instead went for a digital animation. They made this a theme of a their performance with a digital version of IVAN playing various musical instruments while the real IVAN was singing on stage. This spectacle of a man playing with himself mean that the jokes about masturbation really write themselves at this point.
IVAN's other strange demand was that he be allowed to bring a real-life Grey Wolf into the arena and onstage with him. Needless to say the Health & Safety department denied this request. However again the Grey Wolf did appear in the animated sequences.
A large faction within the US-backed junta is a fascist group called the Ukrainian Insurgent Army (UIA). Their nickname is "The Grey Wolves." The disbandment of the UIA is a key element of the Minsk Protocol that is not being implemented.
The paramilitary wing of the Turkish Nationalist Movement Party (MHP) which is currently fighting in Syria alongside Al Qaeda is also known as "The Grey Wolves." I should stress then that historically there is absolutely no link between the Ukrainian and Turkish Grey Wolves. However the Turkish Grey Wolves are fascists therefore they may have been impressed by a group that fought for Hitler's Nazi Germany.
Despite being the namesake of the Minsk Protocol Belarus doesn't actually have anything to do with its negotiation or application. Also Belarus is one of the less well developed of the Eurovision nations.
As such much like last year as an act of support from their peers they've been given the right to simply blend into the background rather than being forced to melt in the spotlight of the final.
The Republic of Ireland: 2016 of course sees the 100th anniversary of the 1916 Easter Rising against British rule in the country. Being aware of the no overt politics rule Ireland's entry "Sunlight" merely invokes the imagery of the sun rising in the morning.
The Easter Rising saw a small group of Republican radicals called the Republican Brotherhood militarily seize control of a number of buildings including the General Post Office (GPO) in Dublin which is now the Irish Republic's capital city. This triggered a week of open warfare between the Brotherhood and the British Army on the streets of Dublin.
In itself the Easter Rising did not bring an end to British rule in Ireland. At the time it was actually viewed as a complete failure with many Dubliners lining up to spit on and throw things at the Brotherhood prisoners as they were being marched away by British soldiers.
It did though light the spark for the Independence movement across Ireland with the Republican Brotherhood eventually becoming the Irish Republican Army (IRA). It is actually widely considered to be Britain's decision to execute the leaders of the Brotherhood rather than the rising itself that lit that spark. That obviously has some relevance in how terrorism is policed today.
In 1921 Britain offered the Irish a peace treaty. This would see Ireland remain as the UK rather than becoming an independent state but exist as a sort of Federal region with the power to run its own affairs. Some Irish people accepted this treaty and were led by the Fine Gael party. Others rejected it and were led by the Fianna Fail party. This lead to civil war. Ironically Sinn Fein who are now synonymous with the Provisional Irish Republican Army (PIRA) were at the time the middle-ground moderates.
Fine Gael and Fianna Fail remain the two largest parties in Irish politics. Although things have changed a lot since 1921 when this February's election left no other option than Fine Gael and Fianna Fail to form a grand coalition it certainly raised a few eyebrows. Particularly amid the Easter Rising commemorations. Just last week the best they could come up with was Fianna Fail agreeing not to bring down a minority Fine Gael government.
Particularly due to the bravery of the Black & Tan regiment of the British Army on the First World War battlefields of Flanders, Belgium the 6 counties with majority Protestant populations were allowed to accept the 1921 treaty independently of the rest of Ireland. This formed Northern Ireland where the fighting continued all the way up until 1997.
One of the groups active on the Republican side during what is known as the Northern Irish Troubles was the Irish National Liberation Army (INLA). They were formally allied with the Kurdistan Workers Party (PKK) who are still fighting Turkey for a Kurdish homeland. As a result the history of the Troubles has been a convenient way to talk about Turkey's involvement in the war in Syria whilst keeping Turkey out of the conversation.
Not having the resources to put on huge, spectacular stunts I've been limited to sharing Irish Republican songs on YouTube/Twitter. That is a very Eurovision thing. As many of these songs have not being formally published let alone released they are not supported by professional music videos. Instead at best you get a montage of often quite violent imagery or simply the lyrics of the song on screen which is known as a "Lyric Video."
The video supporting the Irish entry is a lyric video. It is very much done in the style of a theme from a James Bond movie - that very famous British spy. Wherever the word "Sun" appears it is displayed in a font reminiscent of "The Sun" newspaper. That is a reference to the long-running Hillsborough issue - particularly as it relates to the Troubles. In the press release much was made of the fact the singer had trials from the English football club Leeds United.
Despite the establishment of Northern Ireland the Republic of Ireland is not an exclusively Catholic country. It still has a small but sizable Protestant population. Unfortunately in recent years it is this section of Irish society that has been responsible for Ireland's Eurovision entries.
As such the general tone of this year's entry was very mocking of me personally and of the Easter Rising. For example during the performance there was a red lighting effect that gave the impression of rivers of blood flowing along gutters across the stage. This was a reference to the Battle of Mount Street Bridge. Here just 17 members of the Brotherhood were able to kill or wound 240 members of the British Sherwood Foresters regiment.
Due to their long history of political neutrality the Republic of Ireland have traditionally been very successful at the Song Contest having won it seven times. However in recent years this closer link to the UK has led to Ireland taking a more political tone and paying the price. They haven't even qualified for the final since 2013.
Everything about this year's entry screamed; "PLEASE GOD LET US THROUGH TO THE FINAL!!!"
It was performed by Nicky Byrne who is a former member of the band Westlife. Although they broke up in 2012 Westlife were an absolutely massive band having 14 number one singles in the UK alone and selling more than 50million records worldwide. Particularly to teenage girls and gay men. Byrne now presents a show for Irish host host broadcaster RTE's Radio 2. That was a reference to Terry Wogan who died earlier this year after dominating Eurovision as the BBC's host for more than 30 years.
Unfortunately last year the Republic of Ireland did schedule their public referendum on gay marriage for the day after their Song Contest semi-final. This was an example of Pinkwashing, the idea being that it would build up good will with the gay fanbase helping Ireland to qualify for the final.
It failed and was seen as almost condescending to the gay community. Although a little nod of recognition was made by Ireland they were very clearly punished for it again this year.
At around 16:15 on 13/5/16 (UK date) I'm clearly going to be at this all night. However my bathroom will no more clean itself than my dinner will cook itself.
Edited at around 19:10 on 13/5/16 (UK date) to add;
Norway: Within Eurovision circles there is a long standing joke that all the Nordic nations such as Norway, Sweden, Iceland etc all vote for each other and gang up on everyone else to make sure one of them wins. Over the past year though Norway and this year's host Sweden have had a rather spectacular falling out over the issue of Irregular Migrants/Refugees.
When the migration crisis started Norway took the very similar approach to Germany promising to welcome them all with open arms. Their neighbour Sweden though took in a lot of Muslim refugees from the Balkan wars in the 1990's. However they were not properly integrated leading to lots of crime ridden Muslim ghettos. As a result Sweden was far less keen to taking in more Muslim migrants and was worried that Norway's openness would have the knock-on effect of migrants flooding into Sweden also.
However after about six months of taking in large numbers of Muslim migrants Norway started to become acutely aware of the problems that presents in terms of finding accommodation and other services to all the newcomers although with the somewhat racist backlash. As a result Norway dramatically changed its tune and at the start of 2016 shutdown the train service between Sweden and Norway to stop the flow. Sweden has taken great pleasure in mocking Norway for its sudden U-turn.
As a result Norway's entry "Icebreaker" was just them slagging off Sweden. The general tone being that Sweden shouldn't be so smug about the refugees when it is supporting the US-backed junta in what used to be known as Ukraine. It is sung by Agnete which to a non-Nordic tongue is very similar to Agnetha as in Agnetha Faltskog a member of possibly the most famous Swedish band of all time - ABBA.
ABBA won the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest with the song "Waterloo." This of course was the year when the Song Contest was used to carry out the "Carnation Revolution" which removed the fascist dictatorship of Estado Novo from power in Portugal. The fact that everyone in Europe was talking about how brilliant this song about someone meeting their downfall was while the Portuguese military were carrying out their mutiny helped get the message to Novo not to fight back ensuring a bloodless revolution.
In 1986 ABBA released a song called "Fernando" which is about a man fighting a revolutionary war in some fictional hispanic nation. It is musically similar to an Irish Rebel song called "Viva Quinta Brigada." This is about Fianna Fail and Sinn Fein volunteers forming the 15th International Brigade to fight in the Spanish Civil War against Franco. Fine Gael volunteers went to fight for Franco and his fascists and were known as the Blueshirts.
Although the idea has only occurred to me in the past couple of days it is possible the Fernando was released to help cool the Northern Irish Troubles which in 1986 were getting pretty vicious.
However even if it wasn't the connection still allows Norway to go to Sweden; "Ohhh, times have changed haven't they. Now you're supporting the fascist junta."
It was the rest of Norway's entry that I found really clever though.
Obviously we can't really talk about the topic of racial integration without talking about the topic of race. Racially speaking Agnete is quite hard to place. Certainly not fitting into the Nordic stereotype of blond hair and blue eyes she's got darker skin then you would expect and slightly slanted, almost Oriental eyes. As such you could get the impression that she was mixed race and then try and work out a mix of what races exactly and if there is any significance to them.
If you'd done that though you would have ignored the fact that Norway exists partly in the Arctic Circle. In the Arctic circle you get very long days in the summer and very long nights in the winter. You could almost joke that the daytime lasts from May to November while the nighttime lasts from November to May.
As a result people living there are exposed to a lot of sunlight. The effect of that sunlight is magnified by it reflecting off the white snow - what is known in climate change circles as the "Albedo Effect." This means that although clearly white people native to the Arctic tend to have quite dark skin and eyes that are squinted to limit the effects of snowblindness.
It is these people that first colonised the continental United States. Where they are commonly and wrongly described as Native Americans in states such as Colorado. The Canadian singer Carly Rae Jepsen is a prime example of this. Although I'm not sure if she's aware of it I'm sure you dug deep into her family history you would probably find some Russian heritage.
Since 2014 US President Obama has seemed intent of tearing his own country apart with the racially divisive Black Lives Matter (BLM) campaign. They keep trying to get the Native Americans to unite with them in their great war against the Caucasian race. They seem completely oblivious to the fact that Native Americans are Caucasian originally from places like Norway and Russia.
As such it provides a convenient device for Norway to go; "Obama's an idiot isn't he."
One of the big targets of BLM has been the Australian rapper Iggy Azalea who is constantly accused of appropriating black culture. One of her main accusers has been Azealia Banks whom she got into a massive Twitter feud with. Azealia Banks has just been banned from Twitter for getting into a racially charge feud with Zayn Malik. To me that seems like a carefully crafted satire by Banks on the racially charged London Mayoral campaign of Sadiq Khan.
In her performance last night Agnete was definitely channelling her Iggy Azalea. Despite being a friendly nod to Australia this demonstrated some very quick reactions from Norway's Eurovision team. And it is most certainly a team game.
The indigenous rights debate is central to the arguments over how to tackle climate change. The fact that US and Brazil got heavily diverted by the issue has been identified - by the US - as a reason why the Paris Agreement is a failure. Despite being forced to sign it Norway seems keen to start work on its replacement.
The problem is that this year's contest is very heavily focused on the three issues of what used to be known as Ukraine, ISIL and the migration crisis. By bringing up an almost completely separate topic Norway's efforts seems to have gone completely over everyone's heads.
Although highly amusing to watch the bit that does relate to the migration issue is just a small squabble between Norway and Sweden. I don't think anyone seriously believes they're going to go to war over it.
Albania: This year the flying of the flag of what calls itself the nation of Kosovo was strictly prohibited. That is because despite what the US tries to claim Kosovo is not recognised as a nation by either the United Nations (UN) nor a majority of Eurovision nations.
The reason for this is that they all know that Kosovo is a southern province of the nation of Serbia that was stolen by the members of the Greater Albania movement that is centred in Serbia's neighbour Albania. Thinking that it has the support of the US the Greater Albania movement is currently threatening to steal away other parts of Serbia along with parts of Macedonia.
In a nod to the Macedonian flag the oft used lyric "We are the rise in the rising sun" is Greece's entry "Utopian Land" by Argo was a strong show of Greek support to Macedonia against the Greater Albania despite there being tension between the two over the Greek province of Macedonia that borders the nation of Macedonia.
Albania's entry "Fairytale" by Eneda Tarifa was a full blooded call to arms to members of the Greater Albania movement living outside of Albania. As the Greater Albania movement are Muslims it also seemed to suggest that it has the support of Azerbaijan and by extension Turkey. At the same time it was mocking suggestions that the Greater Albania movement existed as the fairytale of the title.
Albania was very firmly shown the door.
Macedonia: Away from its problems with Albania Macedonia sits between Greece which is an European Union (EU) member and Bulgaria which is also an EU member. However Macedonia itself is not an EU member mainly due to the dispute with Greece. As such Macedonia is literally stuck in the middle of the EU's migration crisis but does not get a say in the EU's efforts to respond to that crisis.
As such I'm a bit surprised that Macedonia didn't make it through to the final. However the other issues raised in their entry "Dona" by Kaliopi which I'm not going to talk about now are well represented in the final.
Therefore I think it should be considered a sign of support by people who understand the pressure that Macedonia is currently under that they're now able to sit back, relax and enjoy the final.
Slovenia: I am extremely surprised that Slovenia's entry "Red & Blue" by ManuElla did not make it through to the final because I thought is was an extremely strong contender. So much so that I cannot talk about it all at this point.
I suspect though that it might have gone over the heads of a lot of people.
For example everyone is talking about the similarity with Taylor Swift who tried to muscle her way into last year's contest. However I suspect that far fewer people got the reference to the actress Scarlett Johansson. Being blond haired and blue eyed most people don't realise that Scarlett Johansson is Jewish. I only mention it here because it is extremely relevant. Even if I can't yet tell you why.
The fact that Slovenia did not get through is made all the more confusing by the fact Georgia did with their entry "Midnight Gold by Nika Kocharov & the Young Georgian Lolitas. I think the announcement that the UK band The Stone Roses are releasing their first music in 15 years was made just before last night's semi-final specifically to mock Georgia's "Good Band Bingo!" effort.
The two other nations not to make it through were Denmark and Switzerland. Again they should take it as a compliment that I consider their efforts to be so good that I don't dare go near them at this stage.
21:25 on 13/5/16 (UK date).
Friday, 13 May 2016
Thursday, 12 May 2016
The 2016 Eurovision Song Contest: The British Contribution.
The UK is this
participating in this year's Song Contest with the song "You're Not
Alone" by Joe & Jake.
Not being a complete masochist I have not yet
got around to listening to it. However it already seems clear that it will be
the least and possibly last of Britain's contribution to this year's contest.
The UK has long had
something of a Love/Hate relationship with the Song Contest.
On the one hand the
UK pays its dues to the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) at the highest rate
qualifying them as one of what is known as the "Big Five." In return
for their larger financial contribution the Big Five get to skip the
semi-finals qualifying automatically for the Grand Final alongside the previous
year's winner and host.
On the other hand the
UK likes to think of itself as something of a cultural powerhouse that is
somehow above all this tacky nonsense. As such Britain seems to take great
pride in sneering at all the other participants and the contest itself.
This year though the
UK is laser focused on the Song Contest as one of the most important events of
the year.
In part this is
because on June 23rd (23/6/16) the UK will hold a public referendum on its
membership of the European Union (EU). The EBU is a much older and entirely
separate organisation from the EU. However 27 of the nations competing in
the Song Contest are also EU member states. So topic certainly does have a
habit of coming up.
Also I don't think it
is any secret that amongst the main themes at this year's Song Contest are the
war against the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) and associated
groups alongside the Irregular Migrant/Refugee crisis and substantially
increased terror threat that war has caused. Despite being an early supporter
of ISIL the UK having a long history of terrorism is now very much taking the
issue seriously and trying to lead the fight. Never has the phrase; "A
Road to Damascus Moment" been more appropriate.
The obvious thing for
the UK to do then would be to enter a really strong song into the competition.
Calvin Harris has recently released a song called "This Is What You Came
For" featuring Rihanna on vocals. As Calvin Harris is British this could
have been the UK's entry this year. However based on previous years that would have likely been seen as significant over-kill.
The UK could then have followed up its
strong entry with lots of multi-platform programming to hype up the competition
before and during.
It seems though that
the UK has instead decided to go in a wildly different direction;
The 2016 Song Contest
opens as it always does with a Red Carpet Gala on Sunday (8/6/16). Just as that
Gala was drawing to a close Britain's Prince Harry opened the Invictus Games in
Florida, US. This is one of his pet projects.
In only its third
year the Invictus Games does pretty much only what it says on the tin. It helps
wounded ex-servicemen rehabilitate themselves through sport.
As is our
debt to them we make more of a fuss about it than it probably deserves. It
certainly doesn't feature any of the political or cultural aspects of the
Olympics.
However in a effort to promote it the Queen of England of all people has
been exchanging trash talk in Internet videos with other World leaders such as US
President Obama and Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau. That could certainly give
the impression to those not involved that there is something serious and
political going on.
In support of the
Invictus Games Britain's Eurovision host broadcaster the BBC has cleared its
prime time, prime channel schedules to provide a round-up of the day's events.
That is the sort of coverage the Song Contest can only dream of with the
semi-final broadcasts being relegated to a niche BBC channel.
Before the Invictus
Games opening ceremony got under way in the US the British Academy for Film and
Television held its annual TV Awards (BAFTATV). This was broadcast live from
8pm-10pm in direct competition to the Song Contest opening Gala which was not
broadcast at all in the UK.
Although it's most
high profile project is the Song Contest Eurovision is really a TV thing rather
than a music thing. The Song Contest is little more than content filler that
allows Eurovision to broadcast a vast TV spectacle. It is though content filler
that has been going for 61 years and regularly attracts 200million+ viewers.
As such a lot of
people involved in Eurovision will be reasonably interested in the backstage
gossip at BAFTATV's. Not least because it was hosted by Graham Norton who hosts
the BBC's coverage of the Song Contest Final. This year's gossip was likely to
be very political because today (12/5/16) the British government has announced
its plans for the BBC over the next decade. Established by Royal Charter the
way that the BBC is run is very uniquely British.
In 2016 the 9pm on a
Sunday has emerged as the BBC's flagship drama slot. So far we've had the
adaptation of "War & Peace" and the "Night Manager." On
the heels of those we've had a show called "Undercover." Although
clearly a much smaller production this is still extremely good.
The fact that the
finale of "Undercover" was delayed for the BAFTATV's caused something
of an uproar amongst viewers. So much so that the show's lead actor - Adrian
Lester - was called upon to hand out the last award of the night in a sort of
nod of apology.
Undercover is heavily
inspired by the 2014 scandal that British police had sent undercover officers
to spy on various political campaigns including the family of murdered black
teenager Stephan Lawrence. It centres on an undercover police officer who is
sent on to spy of a group anti-racism campaigners. He quickly falls in love
with one of the group, quits the police force and marries her without ever telling
her the truth about who he is.
Twenty years later
the wife - a lawyer - is being considered for the job of Director of Public
Prosecutions (DPP) - equivalent to the Attorney General in the US - so the
police suddenly reactivate the husband as a spy. How it ends we STILL DO NOT
KNOW!!!!
The husband in the
show is black and so is the wife. Obviously this means that all of their three
children are also black as are many of their friends. As such this primetime
show is led by a majority black cast - a first for the BBC and possibly British
TV.
However it is so well
done that unless you particularly object to seeing black people on TV you
probably wouldn't notice that there are actually very few white faces on
screen.
The only irritation
is that the wife has long been representing a black man on death row in the US
state of Louisiana. However rather than filming those scenes in the US they
instead film them in what is quite clearly South Africa. As such it seems that
they're trying to draw a comparison between Apartheid and the largely imagined
racism of the US Black Lives Matter (BLM) campaigners are constantly
complaining about.
The real reason for
filming in South Africa though has far more to do with economics than art.
A few years ago the
BBC Three channel produced a sitcom called "Bluestone 42" about a
British Army bomb disposal team in Afghanistan. Being able to enjoy jokes about
what to do with the suicide bomber's severed head I found this reasonably
funny. However only amounting to around 20 thirty minute episodes over three
seasons it certainly wasn't a big primetime show.
It is hard to explain
then why in order to make it the BBC felt the need to build a miniature version
of Afghanistan in South Africa. After all it would be much cheaper just to go
to southern Spain where they filmed all those spaghetti westerns.
The Bluestone 42 production was so expensive that the BBC has been
forced to invent other shows like "Our Girl" simply to get some use
out of the set. They even rented it out to the makers of "Homeland"
for their Pakistan set fourth season.
With its Charter
being up for renewal this is the sort of thing that makes it extremely difficult to argue that
the BBC spends its money wisely.
Fortunately BBC Three
has now been shut down - sorry, 'bravely found a new home online.'
This means the Song
Contest is now being broadcast on BBC Four. Culturally speaking that is a
promotion although with BBC Three no longer being there that was hardly a
factor in the decision.
Back on April 26th (26/4/16) a British Coroners Inquest finally ruled that 96 Liverpool FC fans had been unlawfully killed at the Hillsborough ground in Sheffield in 1989.
Rather than forcing me to recite the entire 27 year history of this campaign it is probably easier all around if you just read what I wrote at the time; http://watchitdie.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/the-truth-at-last.html
The summary version though is that there has always been a lingering suspicion that the British did this on purpose. Not least to punish Irish nationalists such as the Provisional Irish Republican Army (PIRA).
Although as a child at the time I can only look back at it as if it were an event from ancient history one thing I always found suspicious was the decision not to run what are termed "Football Special" trains from Liverpool to Sheffield. Made many weeks in advance this is the sort of mistake that cannot be blamed on the confusion and panic of the day.
Going to a football match in Europe in the 1980's was a lot like going to war. As far back as 1985 English teams were banned from the European Cup (now the Champions League) after Juventus fans launched an attack on Liverpool fans at the Heysel stadium in Brussels, Belgium. In their predictable haste to run away from the inevitable counter-attack the Juventus fans trampled 39 of their own to death.
Due to this level of violence the standard procedure for English football fans wishing to travel to an away match in what is now known as the Premier League was that they would meet at their home ground.
From there the riot police would march them to the closest railway station and load them onto a special designated train known as a "Football Special." The riot police would travel with the fans aboard this train.
When it arrived at its destination the riot police would march the fans to the stadium of the team they were playing. Once the match had ended the riot police would march the fans back to the station for the Football Special that would take them back to their home ground. There they would be released back into society.
Even now in modern times this tactic of football policing has still not been forgotten for certain matches.
A prime example of this would be a West Ham United versus Millwall match. Even if you've never seen the 2010 Hollywood movie "Green Street" you would know that West Ham's "Intercity Crew" have a fearsome reputation. Their name comes from the trouble they would cause on the Intercity Football Special trains. The Millwall "Bushwhackers" don't need a movie to make them famous.
If I were to compare the hatred between West Ham and Millwall to the Israel/Palestine conflict I could still be accused of understating it somewhat.
Despite this on August 25th 2009 (25/8/09) London's Metropolitan Police saw no reason to lay on Football Specials for Millwall fans travelling to West Ham's Boleyn ground in the Upton Park area of London for the League (Carling) Cup second round match. I can't remember the point the police were trying to make by organising this riot but I think it's fair to say that a bit of a ding-dong ensued.
The other thing I find highly suspicious about the Hillsborough tragedy is that despite knowing that Liverpool fans were seriously delayed match commander - Chief Superintendent David Duckenfield - did not push-back the matches scheduled kick-off to allow the fans to safely enter the ground.
On Tuesday (10/5/16) West Ham played their last ever game at the Boleyn ground after 150 years against Manchester United. It was always going to get a bit naughty. That is probably why this last game had been rearranged at the last minute for a Tuesday night rather than a Saturday afternoon at the last minute.
It seems that for the special occasion the Intercity Crew brought themselves out of retirement and threw a few bottles at the Man U team bus as it made its way into the stadium breaking a few of the bus' windows.
By the standards of the 1980's this was embarrassingly sh*t. However the game's kick-off was still put back by 45 minutes from 18:45 (GMT) until 19:30 (GMT) to allow the fans to enter the stadium safely.
Man United fans big chant is; "Glory, Glory Man United." This is a complete rip-off of an Irish Republican drinking song; "The Belfast Brigade." The fact that Man U fans have been allowed to sing this in their disgustingly illegal 26 year stint as; "The Anointed Club of the British Empire" should be considered deeply offensive to all.
With migration/terrorism being a major theme of the Song Contest it is fair to assume that the issue of racial integration/social cohesion has also emerged as significant sub-theme. This is genuinely worth a PHD in Human Geography from any one of the World's best Universities.
So while I've yet to completely blind myself with potatoes you'll excuse me if I leave that until a later date. You may be lucky on Saturday (14/5/16) but realistically I think you're waiting until Wednesday (17/5/16) at the absolute earliest.
I for one will be filing a formal protest against all the unnecessary extra work I'm being forced to do.
As for the tedious middle-class treachery of the UK SAT test result being leaked on Tuesday (10/5/16). In the run-up to the 2016 Oscars I joked that certain subjects would be "On the Test."
At the Eurovision Song Contest there is literally a test.
00:10 on 13/5/16 (UK date).
Wednesday, 11 May 2016
The 2016 Eurovision Song Contest: 1st Semi-Final.
As I mentioned yesterday for the first time the Eurovision Song Contest is being broadcast in the US on the "Logo" network. Due to a time difference that can be as much as 9 hours I am not sure how they are approaching the semi-finals.
I know that in Australia which has a similar problem with the time difference they tend not to broadcast the semi-finals live. Instead they broadcast them both as one big program in primetime on what for them is Friday evening. However due to the time difference that can mean just as the second semi-final is getting underway on Thursday evening in Europe.
Then of course there is the fact that the Song Contest doesn't suddenly stop the moment the semi-final broadcast ends. The Song Contest actually opens on Sunday with a red carpet gala and Monday is taken up by rehearsals. Following the end of the semi-final there is a press conference of all the acts that made it through to the final. Wednesday is taken up by rehearsals before the process repeats and the rehearsals for the final take place on Friday. In between contestants exist in this bubble of press interviews and parties where the first rule is that you can only talk about the Song Contest.
As such this year I am trying to make a concerted effort to delay and break up my commentary on proceedings. However if you are clicking on a link entitled "The 2016 Eurovision Song Contest: 1st Semi-Final" there's got to be at least some expectation of spoilers.
My task has been made more difficult by the fact that Bosnia & Herzegovina did not make it through the first semi-final into the final with their song "Ljubav Je (Love Is)" by Dalal & Deen ft Ana Rucner & Jalal.
The stage setting for their performance feature musicians wrapped in the foil blankets the emergency services hand out to Irregular Migrants/Refugees who have just been rescued from the sea or the survivors of terrorist attacks. In the middle of the stage they had a barbed wire fence.
On one side of that fence you had Dalal - the woman - singing while dressed in an outfit that was heavily influenced by the Caucus region such as Armenia, Azerbaijan, Georgia, Kurdistan and eastern Turkey. This was intended as a reference to the Kurdish, Yezidi and Assyrian refugees that are fleeing the fighting in Syria & Iraq along with Turkey's associated war against its own Kurdish population. I can't immediately think of a way that they could have referenced the Arab refugees who are also fleeing. After all something like the Hijab is a reference to Islam rather than any particular ethnic group. As such I don't think the omission was intended as an insult.
One the other side of the fence you had Deen - the man - dressed in the black leather jackboots and overcoat synonymous with the Waffen SS of Nazi Germany.
As such I think Bosnia & Herzegovina's entry really set the agenda for the entire competition. Unfortunately that means I really can't say too much about it at this early stage. Also I'm a bit worried that without it being included people who only watch the final will struggle to understand what is going on.
However the fact that the song which was unusually not sung in English didn't make it through the semi-final kind of suggests that even the more hardcore voters didn't understand what was going on and dismissed it as a bit clunky and lacking in subtlety.
Of the nations that were knocked out during the first semi-final that I do feel comfortable talking about we have;
San Marino: Their song "I Didn't Know" by Serhat was an absolutely savage takedown of Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan.
Unusually the Turkish singer Serhat is a dentist by training having graduated from Istanbul University.
I don't think anyone likes going to the dentist. Over the last couple of months there's been one of those funny little stories that I've not been following coming out of France about a Dutch national by the name of Jacobus van Nierop. Dubbed the "Dentist of Horror" Nierop seemed to take great pleasure in mutilating his patients with unnecessary and poorly preformed dental procedures. In April he was finally banned from practice anywhere in the European Union (EU) and fined E10,000 by a French Court.
After giving up dentistry Serhat became a TV host on the Turkish version of the gameshow "Jeopardy (Riziko)." He then launched a music career becoming successful in a vast range of nations including Greece and Russia. He is probably the only Turk who is currently popular in either Greece or Russia. The long list of nations where he is popular along with the vast range of nationalities involved in the entry is intended to raise another point.
Every year at the Eurovision Song Contest various versions of the same conversation take place;
"Q. Where is San Marino?
A. It's a small principality in the north of Italy. You see rather than being a nation in the conventional sense Italy is more of a loose confederation of city states - the Vatican City for example. I suppose you could use this as a metaphor for the European Union (EU)."
The song itself "I Didn't Know" was intended to invoke memories of the globally successful 2000 song "It Wasn't Me" by Jamaican/American singer Shaggy. You get the impression of Erdogan sitting at an EU meeting being told that the continent is being flooded by irregular migrants and him going; "It Wasn't Me" or terror attacks have taken place in Paris & Brussels - "It Wasn't Me" or that someone's shelled a refugee camp in Syria - "It Wasn't Me."
With lyrics like; "You have to see this love is real" and "I need you more and more each day." the song is very much about a man who is deeply, madly, passionately in love with someone who's just not that into him. It is intended to make the point that Erdogan needs the EU a hell of a lot more than the EU needs Erdogan.
In the video supporting the song there's lots of use of gold lighting and gold props to give the impression that you're in a vast golden palace albeit an extremely dingy one. Erdogan is sort of considered the king of bling and the opening of his 1,100 room Presidential palace on a designated conservation zone has made him a figure of fun both within Turkey and beyond.
The costumes such as a Fedora hat and pinstripe double breasted suits play on the stereotype of a 1930's American gangster. This intended to make the point that Erdogan is not a politician nor a statesman. Instead he is a bully and a thug and should be treated as such.
Serhat is accompanied by male dancers who are playing the role of his gangster henchmen. A number of them are not only black by clearly darkskinned Africans. Although the majority of African refugees are arriving in the EU from Africa in the south rather than Turkey in the east this serves as a shorthand for the refugee issue. The fact they are portrayed as Erdogan's henchmen is a reference to the way Erdogan is weaponising the refugee crisis to bully the EU into giving him what he wants.
In short the whole thing was hilarious from start to finish.
The problem is that the performance Serhat gave on stage in the semi-final was very stripped back and spartan. I think this was intended as a reference to the way Erdogan tries to censor any criticism of himself not only within Turkey but also in other countries such as Germany. Once again Turkey has opted not to participate in the Song Conquest so Turkish voters won't have got to see any of this.
Unfortunately if this censored performance was the only performance you saw you simply would not have got any of the multitude of hilarious jokes. In a sort of mockery of Erdogan's speech the tone of the song itself is slow, dull and frankly a bit whiny.
Also on the night the henchmen dancers were replaced with women in the sort of gold & silver lame hotpants that you associate with a 1970's gay roller disco. Although I don't want to cause offence the massively over the top hair and make-up seemed intended to give you the impression these dancers were transvestites or Drag Queens.
Erdogan is deeply homophobic so suggesting that he enjoys secret gay orgies with Drag Queens is massively offensive to him.
However the Song Contest does have a significant gay fan base. The subtly of using someone's homophobia to mock them can sometimes be confused with homophobic mockery of gay people. Although it's technically impossible for them to be gay transgendered people are particularly fashionable at the moment.
Iceland: In February 2016 it was announced that the US was re-opening its Cold War Keflavik Air Base in Iceland in order to keep Europe safe from the ever growing threat of Russian aggression.
Iceland's entry "Hear Them Calling" by Greta Salome was therefore a passionate display of support for the US' assessment of Russian aggression threatening all of Europe. Both in the video and on stage the performance relied heavily on animation being projected on the wall behind the singer.
That was a direct copy of the performance of "Heroes of Our Time" by Mans Zelmerlow which won last year. The "Heroes" it refers to are the so-called "Cyborgs" who are waging war against their countrymen on behalf of the US backed junta that currently controls much of Shamali Province (nee; Ukraine). Featuring lyrics such as; "Now the skies are burning" and "Oh, they’re calling out tonight" the song was a similarly full blooded call of support for the junta.
However it was so passionate you had to start to wonder whether it had crossed into the sarcasm and subtle mockery that is common at the Song Contest. You may have even got the impression that the US assessment of the Russian threat was being likened to the movies produced by the Disney Corporation that Greta Salome sometimes works for on their cruise ships.
A Song Contest finalist in 2012 Salome has the equivalent of a bachelors degree in the violin and a masters degree in music. Particularly at the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia and the Eurovision Song Contest that followed the cultural superiority of the Soviet education system was as a convenient way to highlight the difference between the US and Russia.
So while the words she was singing were passionately pro-American I get the impression Ms Salome was leaning towards Russia.
Interestingly the Disney Corporation chose yesterday to release their quarterly financial results in the US. I suspect the corporation may be considering its relationship with the artist.
Finland: Their song "Sing It Away" was performed by Sandhja who is half-Indian (I think Hindu) and half-Finnish.
With frequent reference to "Heavy Water" the song itself had a very nuclear theme. India is a course a nuclear armed state and it is right next door to China which is of course another nuclear armed state. As a member of the UK Commonwealth India has a strong diplomatic relationship with the UK which gives the UK diplomatic access to issues in that region that just aren't available to other European nations. For example when Erdogan made his recent visit to the US around the 2016 Nuclear Security Summit (NSS) there was a sort of joint UK/India protest.
Due to the Commonwealth the UK has a much larger non-white population than many other European nations. That population is extremely well integrated. There were race riots involving the Pakistani Muslim population in Bradford in 2001 but generally large scale racism died out in the UK in the 1970's. In UK politics the supposedly racist right is represented by the UK Independence Party (UKIP). For want of a better term their immigration policy is really; "Fewer Whites, More Coloureds."
This past weekend everyone's been working themselves up into an absolute frenzy over the election of Sadiq Khan as the first Muslim Mayor of London. One of the first people to congratulate him was the Secretary of State for Business Sajid Javid. He is also the Muslim son of an immigrant Pakistani bus driver.
In fact I would go so far as to say that getting excited abut Sadiq Khan becoming Mayor proves you're not a proper Londoner.
Particularly as once you get past the novelty of him being a Muslim you would notice that there are some pretty nasty racist and homophobic undertones to Khan's campaign. Even US rapper Azealia Banks seems to have noticed and she's on another planet half the time.
The video supporting the song heavily invokes the imagery of London's inner-city multi-cultural housing estates. These of course are very different to the immigrant ghettos you get in places like Sweden, Belgium and France. Although she sports the cropped, bleach blond hair that is pure Miley Cyrus Sandhja's look seems heavily influenced by the globally famous London artist M.I.A who is currently working closely with Swedish clothing retailer H&M and won't hesitate to tell you about her Sri Lankan Tamil heritage.
Again though none of this came across in Sandhja's stripped down and spartan semi-final performance yesterday. This could have been a sign of support/enquiry into San Marino's self-censored performance or it could simply be a sign that they'd had enough and wanted to go home.
Either way the general impression you were left with was of a woman who really couldn't be bothered. Plus Finland went first in the running order which never helps.
Montenegro: The big controversy of this years Song Contest is the inclusion of Shamali Province in the competition despite their song "1944" being in direct violation of the golden rule that prevents songs being overtly political. As I explained yesterday this rule is in place, in part, to stop every song turning into a Grindcore tirade.
Although itself not explicitly political Montenegro's entry "The Real Thing" by Highway is pretty much a Grindcore tirade. As such it is clearly intended as a protest against the inclusion of Shamali Province despite their rule breaking.
The tone of the song is very masculine which is emphasised by a scantily clad woman dancing throughout the video that supports the song. In last night's performance this woman was front and centre on a podium at the front of the stage with the band itself almost hidden away in the shadows. I think that it is fair to assume that the gay men in the audience were no more interested in her than I was in the band's male lead singer.
With Montenegro supporting Russia's objections to Shamali Province's inclusion this display of heterosexual male masculinity could easily be viewed as a big "F*ck You!" to the Song Contest's legions of gay fans.
However I think it actually made a much more intelligent point.
It turns out that your sexuality only defines who you want to have sex with. It doesn't determine how good you are at sport, how neat or even basically hygienic you keep your home, what clothes you like to wear or what music you like to listen too.
When I was living in Brighton - the UK's gay capital - it was extremely common for gay men to go to rock shows, punk shows and drum & bass club nights. They used to complain constantly that when they went to the gay clubs and bars where the dating happens or the annual gay pride festival they suddenly had to pretend they liked "Kylie f*cking Minogue."
As it always helps to have evidence to corroborate your point last night I found on Youtube an American Grindcore band called; "Limp Wrist." As far as I can tell all the members of that band are gay men and extremely proud of that fact.
The gay men who are fans of Eurovision are united not by their sexuality but by their shared love of the glittery, camp silliness on which the Song Contest thrives.
The problem is that Eurovision has long acted as a sort of beacon for gays rights across the continent. However sometimes the image of homosexuals that it projects is of a sort of weird, brainwashed cult who all dress the same, behave the same and listen to the same music. That can actually be a barrier to furthering the cause of gay rights amongst people who believe that homosexuality is a choice or some sort of mental illness.
The discussions about this issue are currently being had in Montenegro and hopefully across all of the Eurovision nations.
So I actually think that by busting this stereotype that gay men can't like rock music Montenegro put on a much more effective gay rights protest then simply waving a Rainbow Flag and booing Russia.
The other nations not to make it though to the final were; Estonia, Greece & Moldova.
They should consider it a great compliment that I am not discussing them further here. It is a sign that I think they were so good and deserving of a place in the final that I have to self-censor for the sake of greater good.
16:40 on 11/5/16 (UK date).
I know that in Australia which has a similar problem with the time difference they tend not to broadcast the semi-finals live. Instead they broadcast them both as one big program in primetime on what for them is Friday evening. However due to the time difference that can mean just as the second semi-final is getting underway on Thursday evening in Europe.
Then of course there is the fact that the Song Contest doesn't suddenly stop the moment the semi-final broadcast ends. The Song Contest actually opens on Sunday with a red carpet gala and Monday is taken up by rehearsals. Following the end of the semi-final there is a press conference of all the acts that made it through to the final. Wednesday is taken up by rehearsals before the process repeats and the rehearsals for the final take place on Friday. In between contestants exist in this bubble of press interviews and parties where the first rule is that you can only talk about the Song Contest.
As such this year I am trying to make a concerted effort to delay and break up my commentary on proceedings. However if you are clicking on a link entitled "The 2016 Eurovision Song Contest: 1st Semi-Final" there's got to be at least some expectation of spoilers.
My task has been made more difficult by the fact that Bosnia & Herzegovina did not make it through the first semi-final into the final with their song "Ljubav Je (Love Is)" by Dalal & Deen ft Ana Rucner & Jalal.
The stage setting for their performance feature musicians wrapped in the foil blankets the emergency services hand out to Irregular Migrants/Refugees who have just been rescued from the sea or the survivors of terrorist attacks. In the middle of the stage they had a barbed wire fence.
On one side of that fence you had Dalal - the woman - singing while dressed in an outfit that was heavily influenced by the Caucus region such as Armenia, Azerbaijan, Georgia, Kurdistan and eastern Turkey. This was intended as a reference to the Kurdish, Yezidi and Assyrian refugees that are fleeing the fighting in Syria & Iraq along with Turkey's associated war against its own Kurdish population. I can't immediately think of a way that they could have referenced the Arab refugees who are also fleeing. After all something like the Hijab is a reference to Islam rather than any particular ethnic group. As such I don't think the omission was intended as an insult.
One the other side of the fence you had Deen - the man - dressed in the black leather jackboots and overcoat synonymous with the Waffen SS of Nazi Germany.
As such I think Bosnia & Herzegovina's entry really set the agenda for the entire competition. Unfortunately that means I really can't say too much about it at this early stage. Also I'm a bit worried that without it being included people who only watch the final will struggle to understand what is going on.
However the fact that the song which was unusually not sung in English didn't make it through the semi-final kind of suggests that even the more hardcore voters didn't understand what was going on and dismissed it as a bit clunky and lacking in subtlety.
Of the nations that were knocked out during the first semi-final that I do feel comfortable talking about we have;
San Marino: Their song "I Didn't Know" by Serhat was an absolutely savage takedown of Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan.
Unusually the Turkish singer Serhat is a dentist by training having graduated from Istanbul University.
I don't think anyone likes going to the dentist. Over the last couple of months there's been one of those funny little stories that I've not been following coming out of France about a Dutch national by the name of Jacobus van Nierop. Dubbed the "Dentist of Horror" Nierop seemed to take great pleasure in mutilating his patients with unnecessary and poorly preformed dental procedures. In April he was finally banned from practice anywhere in the European Union (EU) and fined E10,000 by a French Court.
After giving up dentistry Serhat became a TV host on the Turkish version of the gameshow "Jeopardy (Riziko)." He then launched a music career becoming successful in a vast range of nations including Greece and Russia. He is probably the only Turk who is currently popular in either Greece or Russia. The long list of nations where he is popular along with the vast range of nationalities involved in the entry is intended to raise another point.
Every year at the Eurovision Song Contest various versions of the same conversation take place;
"Q. Where is San Marino?
A. It's a small principality in the north of Italy. You see rather than being a nation in the conventional sense Italy is more of a loose confederation of city states - the Vatican City for example. I suppose you could use this as a metaphor for the European Union (EU)."
The song itself "I Didn't Know" was intended to invoke memories of the globally successful 2000 song "It Wasn't Me" by Jamaican/American singer Shaggy. You get the impression of Erdogan sitting at an EU meeting being told that the continent is being flooded by irregular migrants and him going; "It Wasn't Me" or terror attacks have taken place in Paris & Brussels - "It Wasn't Me" or that someone's shelled a refugee camp in Syria - "It Wasn't Me."
With lyrics like; "You have to see this love is real" and "I need you more and more each day." the song is very much about a man who is deeply, madly, passionately in love with someone who's just not that into him. It is intended to make the point that Erdogan needs the EU a hell of a lot more than the EU needs Erdogan.
In the video supporting the song there's lots of use of gold lighting and gold props to give the impression that you're in a vast golden palace albeit an extremely dingy one. Erdogan is sort of considered the king of bling and the opening of his 1,100 room Presidential palace on a designated conservation zone has made him a figure of fun both within Turkey and beyond.
The costumes such as a Fedora hat and pinstripe double breasted suits play on the stereotype of a 1930's American gangster. This intended to make the point that Erdogan is not a politician nor a statesman. Instead he is a bully and a thug and should be treated as such.
Serhat is accompanied by male dancers who are playing the role of his gangster henchmen. A number of them are not only black by clearly darkskinned Africans. Although the majority of African refugees are arriving in the EU from Africa in the south rather than Turkey in the east this serves as a shorthand for the refugee issue. The fact they are portrayed as Erdogan's henchmen is a reference to the way Erdogan is weaponising the refugee crisis to bully the EU into giving him what he wants.
In short the whole thing was hilarious from start to finish.
The problem is that the performance Serhat gave on stage in the semi-final was very stripped back and spartan. I think this was intended as a reference to the way Erdogan tries to censor any criticism of himself not only within Turkey but also in other countries such as Germany. Once again Turkey has opted not to participate in the Song Conquest so Turkish voters won't have got to see any of this.
Unfortunately if this censored performance was the only performance you saw you simply would not have got any of the multitude of hilarious jokes. In a sort of mockery of Erdogan's speech the tone of the song itself is slow, dull and frankly a bit whiny.
Also on the night the henchmen dancers were replaced with women in the sort of gold & silver lame hotpants that you associate with a 1970's gay roller disco. Although I don't want to cause offence the massively over the top hair and make-up seemed intended to give you the impression these dancers were transvestites or Drag Queens.
Erdogan is deeply homophobic so suggesting that he enjoys secret gay orgies with Drag Queens is massively offensive to him.
However the Song Contest does have a significant gay fan base. The subtly of using someone's homophobia to mock them can sometimes be confused with homophobic mockery of gay people. Although it's technically impossible for them to be gay transgendered people are particularly fashionable at the moment.
Iceland: In February 2016 it was announced that the US was re-opening its Cold War Keflavik Air Base in Iceland in order to keep Europe safe from the ever growing threat of Russian aggression.
Iceland's entry "Hear Them Calling" by Greta Salome was therefore a passionate display of support for the US' assessment of Russian aggression threatening all of Europe. Both in the video and on stage the performance relied heavily on animation being projected on the wall behind the singer.
That was a direct copy of the performance of "Heroes of Our Time" by Mans Zelmerlow which won last year. The "Heroes" it refers to are the so-called "Cyborgs" who are waging war against their countrymen on behalf of the US backed junta that currently controls much of Shamali Province (nee; Ukraine). Featuring lyrics such as; "Now the skies are burning" and "Oh, they’re calling out tonight" the song was a similarly full blooded call of support for the junta.
However it was so passionate you had to start to wonder whether it had crossed into the sarcasm and subtle mockery that is common at the Song Contest. You may have even got the impression that the US assessment of the Russian threat was being likened to the movies produced by the Disney Corporation that Greta Salome sometimes works for on their cruise ships.
A Song Contest finalist in 2012 Salome has the equivalent of a bachelors degree in the violin and a masters degree in music. Particularly at the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia and the Eurovision Song Contest that followed the cultural superiority of the Soviet education system was as a convenient way to highlight the difference between the US and Russia.
So while the words she was singing were passionately pro-American I get the impression Ms Salome was leaning towards Russia.
Interestingly the Disney Corporation chose yesterday to release their quarterly financial results in the US. I suspect the corporation may be considering its relationship with the artist.
Finland: Their song "Sing It Away" was performed by Sandhja who is half-Indian (I think Hindu) and half-Finnish.
With frequent reference to "Heavy Water" the song itself had a very nuclear theme. India is a course a nuclear armed state and it is right next door to China which is of course another nuclear armed state. As a member of the UK Commonwealth India has a strong diplomatic relationship with the UK which gives the UK diplomatic access to issues in that region that just aren't available to other European nations. For example when Erdogan made his recent visit to the US around the 2016 Nuclear Security Summit (NSS) there was a sort of joint UK/India protest.
Due to the Commonwealth the UK has a much larger non-white population than many other European nations. That population is extremely well integrated. There were race riots involving the Pakistani Muslim population in Bradford in 2001 but generally large scale racism died out in the UK in the 1970's. In UK politics the supposedly racist right is represented by the UK Independence Party (UKIP). For want of a better term their immigration policy is really; "Fewer Whites, More Coloureds."
This past weekend everyone's been working themselves up into an absolute frenzy over the election of Sadiq Khan as the first Muslim Mayor of London. One of the first people to congratulate him was the Secretary of State for Business Sajid Javid. He is also the Muslim son of an immigrant Pakistani bus driver.
In fact I would go so far as to say that getting excited abut Sadiq Khan becoming Mayor proves you're not a proper Londoner.
Particularly as once you get past the novelty of him being a Muslim you would notice that there are some pretty nasty racist and homophobic undertones to Khan's campaign. Even US rapper Azealia Banks seems to have noticed and she's on another planet half the time.
The video supporting the song heavily invokes the imagery of London's inner-city multi-cultural housing estates. These of course are very different to the immigrant ghettos you get in places like Sweden, Belgium and France. Although she sports the cropped, bleach blond hair that is pure Miley Cyrus Sandhja's look seems heavily influenced by the globally famous London artist M.I.A who is currently working closely with Swedish clothing retailer H&M and won't hesitate to tell you about her Sri Lankan Tamil heritage.
Again though none of this came across in Sandhja's stripped down and spartan semi-final performance yesterday. This could have been a sign of support/enquiry into San Marino's self-censored performance or it could simply be a sign that they'd had enough and wanted to go home.
Either way the general impression you were left with was of a woman who really couldn't be bothered. Plus Finland went first in the running order which never helps.
Montenegro: The big controversy of this years Song Contest is the inclusion of Shamali Province in the competition despite their song "1944" being in direct violation of the golden rule that prevents songs being overtly political. As I explained yesterday this rule is in place, in part, to stop every song turning into a Grindcore tirade.
Although itself not explicitly political Montenegro's entry "The Real Thing" by Highway is pretty much a Grindcore tirade. As such it is clearly intended as a protest against the inclusion of Shamali Province despite their rule breaking.
The tone of the song is very masculine which is emphasised by a scantily clad woman dancing throughout the video that supports the song. In last night's performance this woman was front and centre on a podium at the front of the stage with the band itself almost hidden away in the shadows. I think that it is fair to assume that the gay men in the audience were no more interested in her than I was in the band's male lead singer.
With Montenegro supporting Russia's objections to Shamali Province's inclusion this display of heterosexual male masculinity could easily be viewed as a big "F*ck You!" to the Song Contest's legions of gay fans.
However I think it actually made a much more intelligent point.
It turns out that your sexuality only defines who you want to have sex with. It doesn't determine how good you are at sport, how neat or even basically hygienic you keep your home, what clothes you like to wear or what music you like to listen too.
When I was living in Brighton - the UK's gay capital - it was extremely common for gay men to go to rock shows, punk shows and drum & bass club nights. They used to complain constantly that when they went to the gay clubs and bars where the dating happens or the annual gay pride festival they suddenly had to pretend they liked "Kylie f*cking Minogue."
As it always helps to have evidence to corroborate your point last night I found on Youtube an American Grindcore band called; "Limp Wrist." As far as I can tell all the members of that band are gay men and extremely proud of that fact.
The gay men who are fans of Eurovision are united not by their sexuality but by their shared love of the glittery, camp silliness on which the Song Contest thrives.
The problem is that Eurovision has long acted as a sort of beacon for gays rights across the continent. However sometimes the image of homosexuals that it projects is of a sort of weird, brainwashed cult who all dress the same, behave the same and listen to the same music. That can actually be a barrier to furthering the cause of gay rights amongst people who believe that homosexuality is a choice or some sort of mental illness.
The discussions about this issue are currently being had in Montenegro and hopefully across all of the Eurovision nations.
So I actually think that by busting this stereotype that gay men can't like rock music Montenegro put on a much more effective gay rights protest then simply waving a Rainbow Flag and booing Russia.
The other nations not to make it though to the final were; Estonia, Greece & Moldova.
They should consider it a great compliment that I am not discussing them further here. It is a sign that I think they were so good and deserving of a place in the final that I have to self-censor for the sake of greater good.
16:40 on 11/5/16 (UK date).
Tuesday, 10 May 2016
The 2016 Eurovision Song Contest: The Pre-Game.
On Sunday (8/5/16) the 2016 Eurovision Song Contest opened in Stockholm, Sweden.
The first semi-final will take place tonight (10/5/16) at 19:00 (GMT). The second semi-final will take place on Thursday (12/5/16) also at 19:00 (GMT). The Grand Final will take place on Saturday (14/5/16). It is scheduled to begin at 19:00 (GMT) but as always it seems likely to overrun its allotted 3 hour time slot.
The 2015 contest was of course dominated by the civil war taking place in the geographic area formally known as the nation state of Ukraine. It was eventually won by the Swedish entry "Heroes of Our Time" by Mans Zelmerlow.
Since then the war in what used to be known as Ukraine has not gone away. If anything the situation has got much worse.
In August 2015 a terrorist attacked a Thalys train travelling between the Netherlands and France via Belgium. Thanks to little more than luck this attack was thwarted.
In October 2015 a civilian passenger jet was bombed out of the skies over Egypt killing 224 Russian citizens. Although they opt not to participate in the Song Contest Egypt is part of the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) of which the Song Contest is merely the tip of the iceberg.
In November 130 people were massacred in a terror attack in Paris, France.
In March a terror attack tore through the Belgian capital Brussels killing 32.
Israel which is also an EBU member seems to be averaging a terrorist attack a day at the moment. Tunisia - another of the EBU's silent partners - saw 38 civilians massacred on a beach in Sousse in June 2015.
Throughout this bloody summer Turkey has been weaponising the flow of refugees from Syria (also in the EBU) by flooding continental Europe with irregular migrants. In response the European Union (EU) has suspended its cherished Schengen passport free zone and the far right are gaining popularity across the continent.
As such I think this is going to be a rough week. There will certainly be no prizes for guessing what the main topics of political discussion will be.
The controversy surrounding this year's contest actually began all the way back in February when what used to be known as "Ukraine" but is now more properly known as the "Shamali (Northern) Province of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL)" selected their entry "1944" by Jamala.
This presented huge problems for the organisers not least that no longer being a nation state Shamali Province is ineligible for the competition. Also Jamala is from Crimea which is now part of another nation state - Russia.
The big problem though is that if there is a golden rule of Eurovision it is that songs cannot be overtly political.
So for example if you wanted to complain about a neighbouring country you could do a break-up song about how much your ex-lover used to mistreat you and how glad you are they are gone. You would though still have to be careful that it took the form of a personal story rather than being more generally about the wider political issue of domestic violence.
With the Song Contest owing far more to politics than to music this rule might seem odd. However it performs a number of vital functions.
For starters it stops every song turning into a Grindcore (Very Heavy Metal) tirade against ones neighbours.
Also in the world of global politics and diplomacy almost everything is done through metaphor and code with no-one ever saying exactly what they mean. For example there is currently tension between the US and Turkey over ISIL's supply lines. However in order to follow this discussion in detail you have to be super interested in the design and maintenance of Washington D.C's underground rail (Metro) system.
By forcing everyone to use code and metaphor the Song Contest allows some of the smaller nations - say Malta or San Marino - to sharpen their skills so they at least have a vague idea of what is going on in the wider world.
Shamali Province's entry is all about the Soviets forcible deportation of Turkmen (known locally as "Tatars") from Crimea to China where they became known as "Uighur" in 1944. Although they're attempting to use this as a metaphor for Crimea's decision to rejoin Russia it is clearly an overt reference to a political event.
As such it should not have been allowed into the competition.
Last year Armenia pushed this rule to its limits with "Face the Shadow" although they didn't go so far as to specifically reference the 1915 Genocide. Despite the goodwill of it being the 100th anniversary they were still forced to change the title and some of the lyrics to make it eligible for competition.
More out of a sense of obligation than a genuine desire to succeed Russia lodged a complaint against Shamali Province's entry. The fact this entirely valid objection was dismissed gives very anti-Russian overtones to the entire contest.
In response the organisers seem to have swung back in the opposite direction by promising to strictly enforce the rule that says only flags formally recognised by the United Nations (UN) will be allowed in the arena during the contest.
Following the Brussels attacks a memorial to the dead sprung up in the city. Above that memorial were hung a number of flags including the Turkish flag and one of the flags of the Syrian insurgents. I felt this was done in mockery of the dead. A group of football hooligans clearly agreed and marched on the memorial to tear down the flags prompting a stand off with the riot police. There were also a number of nasty incidents where the Israeli flag was either removed, defaced or replaced by the Palestinian flag.
Sending the riot squad into the arena to break up a football-style punch up is really the polar opposite of what Eurovision is about. As such organisers clearly don't want a repeat of events in Brussels.
There is also some concern that the unrecognised flag to the Nagorno-Karabakh Region (NKR) will make an appearance. Last year I said that the best supporters of Shamali Province can hope for is a repeat of this long frozen conflict between Armenia and Azerbaijan. In the last couple of weeks that conflict has heated up again. There is currently a fragile ceasefire in place and Eurovision clearly don't want to be the people who bring it to an end with a controversial flag wave.
The ban also seems to specifically target the flag of Kosovo. Contrary to what you may be told in the US and British media Kosovo is most certainly not recognised as an independent state. A lot of the opposition to its recognition comes from nations such as Norway who don't normally side with Russia against the US. The Greater Albania movement which led the invasion of Serbia's southern Kosovo province was quite a large issue at last year's contest particularly amongst Albania's neighbours such as Macedonia and Greece.
When talking about Crimea's vote to return to Russia US President Barack Obama likes to say; "You cannot change the borders of Europe by force in the 21st century. The words "In the 21st Century" are included specifically because of the US invasion of Kosovo which changed the borders of Serbia in the final year of the 20th century.
As a result the flying of the Kosovo flag as if it were a national flag will cause a lot of deep offence to a lot of people in Europe.
The flag ban initially also applied to the Rainbow Flag used to signify gay rights. However that has since been relaxed so the flag can be used but not in a political manner.
For much of the first 20 years of the Song Contest homosexuality was illegal in most European nations including the UK. Even today its still not exactly encouraged many eastern European states. As a result in order to avoid getting murdered or going to jail gay people had to live their lives in secret through metaphor and code. There is even a secret gay language called "Polari."
As such there has long been extensive overlap between Eurovision culture and gay culture and I for one think that Eurovision is much better for it. However in recent years there has been a growing problem of the gay community being unable to see beyond the issue of gay rights.
A prime example was Azerbaijan's 2013 entry "Hold Me." This featured a man dancing on a see-through box. Inside the box there was a sort of "shadow man" dressed all in black mirroring his every movement. This was a protest against Azerbaijan's oppressive security state which shadows everyone everywhere they go. However the gay community assumed it was a metaphor for the man's hidden homosexuality and immediately went into an absolute frenzy.
Since then a succession of participants have been quietly patting Azerbaijan on the shoulder and whispering; "Don't worry. We knew what you meant."
This inability to see beyond the gay rights issue has meant that the issue of "Pinkwashing" has been a significant theme recently.
This is when a nation, corporation or politician plays up its support for gay rights in order to hide other nasty things it is up to. For example last year the Republic of Ireland scheduled its referendum of gay marriage for the day after the semi-final in a cynical attempt to make the final. It failed.
It is particularly unfortunate when gay rights activists boo Russia because the US-led opposition to Russia on gay rights is done in support of ISIL. Who throw gay people off tall buildings to execute them.
All the other unrecognised flags such as the Palestinian Flag, the Kurdish Flag and the Basque Flag seem to have simply been caught in the crossfire.
There is also the issue of Australia's use of the phrase "Facetime." I'll leave that until the competition is properly underway but as far as I'm concerned it has artistic rather than commercial value so should be allowed.
The other big change is to voting.
For many years voting was handled exclusively by secretive national judging panels with their government's foreign intelligence service on speed dial. Then in the 1990's public telephone votes were included and mixed in with the panel's scores.
This has led to certain nations hiding a very dark political agenda behind a very populist song in order to give the impression that their political position enjoys more popular support than it actually does. Poland's "We Are Slavic" in 2014 being a prime example.
This year the judging panels will award their points. The public vote will then award their scores separately. I think this is a much needed change to bring back a level of political precision to proceedings. After all I'm guessing most people don't dedicate an entire week of their year to the Song Contest.
Romania will not be appearing this year because they've failed to pay their EBU membership fee. This debt of around USD16million has been building up since 2007 so patience was always going to run out eventually.
However you may remember that last year the US tried to muscle in on the contest with Taylor Swift's "Bad Blood." This year the Song Contest will be broadcast in the US for the first time, admittedly on a fringe gay interest cable channel. This years half-time show in the Grand Final will be performed by US superstar Justin Timberlake.
As such it seems an appropriate time to issue a warning about people trying to freeload on the contest.
16:55 on 10/5/16 (UK date).
The first semi-final will take place tonight (10/5/16) at 19:00 (GMT). The second semi-final will take place on Thursday (12/5/16) also at 19:00 (GMT). The Grand Final will take place on Saturday (14/5/16). It is scheduled to begin at 19:00 (GMT) but as always it seems likely to overrun its allotted 3 hour time slot.
The 2015 contest was of course dominated by the civil war taking place in the geographic area formally known as the nation state of Ukraine. It was eventually won by the Swedish entry "Heroes of Our Time" by Mans Zelmerlow.
Since then the war in what used to be known as Ukraine has not gone away. If anything the situation has got much worse.
In August 2015 a terrorist attacked a Thalys train travelling between the Netherlands and France via Belgium. Thanks to little more than luck this attack was thwarted.
In October 2015 a civilian passenger jet was bombed out of the skies over Egypt killing 224 Russian citizens. Although they opt not to participate in the Song Contest Egypt is part of the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) of which the Song Contest is merely the tip of the iceberg.
In November 130 people were massacred in a terror attack in Paris, France.
In March a terror attack tore through the Belgian capital Brussels killing 32.
Israel which is also an EBU member seems to be averaging a terrorist attack a day at the moment. Tunisia - another of the EBU's silent partners - saw 38 civilians massacred on a beach in Sousse in June 2015.
Throughout this bloody summer Turkey has been weaponising the flow of refugees from Syria (also in the EBU) by flooding continental Europe with irregular migrants. In response the European Union (EU) has suspended its cherished Schengen passport free zone and the far right are gaining popularity across the continent.
As such I think this is going to be a rough week. There will certainly be no prizes for guessing what the main topics of political discussion will be.
The controversy surrounding this year's contest actually began all the way back in February when what used to be known as "Ukraine" but is now more properly known as the "Shamali (Northern) Province of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL)" selected their entry "1944" by Jamala.
This presented huge problems for the organisers not least that no longer being a nation state Shamali Province is ineligible for the competition. Also Jamala is from Crimea which is now part of another nation state - Russia.
The big problem though is that if there is a golden rule of Eurovision it is that songs cannot be overtly political.
So for example if you wanted to complain about a neighbouring country you could do a break-up song about how much your ex-lover used to mistreat you and how glad you are they are gone. You would though still have to be careful that it took the form of a personal story rather than being more generally about the wider political issue of domestic violence.
With the Song Contest owing far more to politics than to music this rule might seem odd. However it performs a number of vital functions.
For starters it stops every song turning into a Grindcore (Very Heavy Metal) tirade against ones neighbours.
Also in the world of global politics and diplomacy almost everything is done through metaphor and code with no-one ever saying exactly what they mean. For example there is currently tension between the US and Turkey over ISIL's supply lines. However in order to follow this discussion in detail you have to be super interested in the design and maintenance of Washington D.C's underground rail (Metro) system.
By forcing everyone to use code and metaphor the Song Contest allows some of the smaller nations - say Malta or San Marino - to sharpen their skills so they at least have a vague idea of what is going on in the wider world.
Shamali Province's entry is all about the Soviets forcible deportation of Turkmen (known locally as "Tatars") from Crimea to China where they became known as "Uighur" in 1944. Although they're attempting to use this as a metaphor for Crimea's decision to rejoin Russia it is clearly an overt reference to a political event.
As such it should not have been allowed into the competition.
Last year Armenia pushed this rule to its limits with "Face the Shadow" although they didn't go so far as to specifically reference the 1915 Genocide. Despite the goodwill of it being the 100th anniversary they were still forced to change the title and some of the lyrics to make it eligible for competition.
More out of a sense of obligation than a genuine desire to succeed Russia lodged a complaint against Shamali Province's entry. The fact this entirely valid objection was dismissed gives very anti-Russian overtones to the entire contest.
In response the organisers seem to have swung back in the opposite direction by promising to strictly enforce the rule that says only flags formally recognised by the United Nations (UN) will be allowed in the arena during the contest.
Following the Brussels attacks a memorial to the dead sprung up in the city. Above that memorial were hung a number of flags including the Turkish flag and one of the flags of the Syrian insurgents. I felt this was done in mockery of the dead. A group of football hooligans clearly agreed and marched on the memorial to tear down the flags prompting a stand off with the riot police. There were also a number of nasty incidents where the Israeli flag was either removed, defaced or replaced by the Palestinian flag.
Sending the riot squad into the arena to break up a football-style punch up is really the polar opposite of what Eurovision is about. As such organisers clearly don't want a repeat of events in Brussels.
There is also some concern that the unrecognised flag to the Nagorno-Karabakh Region (NKR) will make an appearance. Last year I said that the best supporters of Shamali Province can hope for is a repeat of this long frozen conflict between Armenia and Azerbaijan. In the last couple of weeks that conflict has heated up again. There is currently a fragile ceasefire in place and Eurovision clearly don't want to be the people who bring it to an end with a controversial flag wave.
The ban also seems to specifically target the flag of Kosovo. Contrary to what you may be told in the US and British media Kosovo is most certainly not recognised as an independent state. A lot of the opposition to its recognition comes from nations such as Norway who don't normally side with Russia against the US. The Greater Albania movement which led the invasion of Serbia's southern Kosovo province was quite a large issue at last year's contest particularly amongst Albania's neighbours such as Macedonia and Greece.
When talking about Crimea's vote to return to Russia US President Barack Obama likes to say; "You cannot change the borders of Europe by force in the 21st century. The words "In the 21st Century" are included specifically because of the US invasion of Kosovo which changed the borders of Serbia in the final year of the 20th century.
As a result the flying of the Kosovo flag as if it were a national flag will cause a lot of deep offence to a lot of people in Europe.
The flag ban initially also applied to the Rainbow Flag used to signify gay rights. However that has since been relaxed so the flag can be used but not in a political manner.
For much of the first 20 years of the Song Contest homosexuality was illegal in most European nations including the UK. Even today its still not exactly encouraged many eastern European states. As a result in order to avoid getting murdered or going to jail gay people had to live their lives in secret through metaphor and code. There is even a secret gay language called "Polari."
As such there has long been extensive overlap between Eurovision culture and gay culture and I for one think that Eurovision is much better for it. However in recent years there has been a growing problem of the gay community being unable to see beyond the issue of gay rights.
A prime example was Azerbaijan's 2013 entry "Hold Me." This featured a man dancing on a see-through box. Inside the box there was a sort of "shadow man" dressed all in black mirroring his every movement. This was a protest against Azerbaijan's oppressive security state which shadows everyone everywhere they go. However the gay community assumed it was a metaphor for the man's hidden homosexuality and immediately went into an absolute frenzy.
Since then a succession of participants have been quietly patting Azerbaijan on the shoulder and whispering; "Don't worry. We knew what you meant."
This inability to see beyond the gay rights issue has meant that the issue of "Pinkwashing" has been a significant theme recently.
This is when a nation, corporation or politician plays up its support for gay rights in order to hide other nasty things it is up to. For example last year the Republic of Ireland scheduled its referendum of gay marriage for the day after the semi-final in a cynical attempt to make the final. It failed.
It is particularly unfortunate when gay rights activists boo Russia because the US-led opposition to Russia on gay rights is done in support of ISIL. Who throw gay people off tall buildings to execute them.
All the other unrecognised flags such as the Palestinian Flag, the Kurdish Flag and the Basque Flag seem to have simply been caught in the crossfire.
There is also the issue of Australia's use of the phrase "Facetime." I'll leave that until the competition is properly underway but as far as I'm concerned it has artistic rather than commercial value so should be allowed.
The other big change is to voting.
For many years voting was handled exclusively by secretive national judging panels with their government's foreign intelligence service on speed dial. Then in the 1990's public telephone votes were included and mixed in with the panel's scores.
This has led to certain nations hiding a very dark political agenda behind a very populist song in order to give the impression that their political position enjoys more popular support than it actually does. Poland's "We Are Slavic" in 2014 being a prime example.
This year the judging panels will award their points. The public vote will then award their scores separately. I think this is a much needed change to bring back a level of political precision to proceedings. After all I'm guessing most people don't dedicate an entire week of their year to the Song Contest.
Romania will not be appearing this year because they've failed to pay their EBU membership fee. This debt of around USD16million has been building up since 2007 so patience was always going to run out eventually.
However you may remember that last year the US tried to muscle in on the contest with Taylor Swift's "Bad Blood." This year the Song Contest will be broadcast in the US for the first time, admittedly on a fringe gay interest cable channel. This years half-time show in the Grand Final will be performed by US superstar Justin Timberlake.
As such it seems an appropriate time to issue a warning about people trying to freeload on the contest.
16:55 on 10/5/16 (UK date).
Saturday, 7 May 2016
Tedious Thursday.
On Thursday (5/5/16) voters across the UK went to the polls in a range of local elections.
Some of these such as the Scottish Parliamentary and the Assembly elections in Wales and Northern Ireland are worth taking note of. However with all three bodies being wholly subservient to the national government it is hard for a normal person to get excited about them. In fact in Northern Ireland it's actually a rule that the election will result in a draw and the main Protestant party and the main Catholic party will share power.
Across England there were also 89 local authority elections. I don't want to dismiss these as unimportant. However they are so hyper-local that in order to get excited the issues involved you really do need to actually live in the very small areas where the elections are taking place.
The election that everybody is talking about though is the London Mayoral election. This strikes me as odd because of all the elections taking place on Thursday the London Mayoral race is by far the least important.
I have lived in London for the best part of 30 years. I also have what I suppose you would call a particular interest in politics. However for the life of me I still cannot work out what the Mayor of London does. In fact having an interest in politics it seems to me that the job was only invented to prevent Northern Ireland's Protestants objecting to the peace process and the creation of the Northern Ireland Assembly.
Officially the Mayor of London controls a budget of GBP17bn (USD25.5bn) that he must get passed by the London Assembly/micro-Parliament of which there is no guarantee he controls. However without any real tax raising powers the Mayor's budget is entirely dependent on the amount of money the national government decides to give. With a Conservative government and a Labour Mayor this can get extremely nasty.
A large part of the Mayor's budget is spent on welfare payments such as Housing Benefit. These are set nationally and enshrined in law. As such it's really a case of the Mayor being told how much of his budget is going to be spent on welfare.
Another large part of the Mayor's budget goes on healthcare. In the UK this is controlled by what are known as Primary Care Trusts (PCT's). These not only operate outside of the control of local government but largely outside of the control of the national government. Therefore at best the Mayor gets to negotiate with the PCT's over healthcare. The Mayor is not their sole source of income and again there are legal minimums. As such the PCT's are very much the dominant party in those negotiations.
The Mayor also has some control over London's Metropolitan Police. However the UK is very clear about the police and the Courts being independent of political interference. As such the Mayor's role is really only to negotiate with the Police Commissioner as the junior partner. In practice it's often a case of the Police Commissioner simply handing the Mayor a bill which the Mayor is legally obligated to pay.
In terms of the small day-to-day duties such as refuse collection and licensing the sale of alcohol or the playing of music for entertainment these all remain the responsibility of the local authorities in control of the London Boroughs. I think the Mayor has the power to overrule the local authorities on local planning issues but only when the project in question can be viewed as being of benefit to all Londoners.
So basically the Mayor of London controls the city's underground rail (Metro) system known as "The Tube." That is it.
To put it in perspective Boris Johnson who remains the Mayor of London until at least Monday (9/5/16) managed to hold down not one but three other jobs while being Mayor. This included being an MP in the national government.
Due to the Freddie Grey case I am still following the Mayor of Baltimore, Maryland, US on Twitter. It seems that much of her - or person who controls her Twitter account - time is spent gossipping about things they've read on Twitter. However she continues to wield significantly more power than the Mayor of London.
On Thursday there was a big meeting of city Mayors from across the globe to discuss how they could respond to the threat of climate change. Well that was the first hour. The rest of the day was spent bullying the Mayor of London over how little power they hold.
I could continue making jokes about how insignificant the job of Mayor of London for a very long time. After all there are kids in filthy refugee camps in warzones who are fully entitled to point at the Mayor of London and laugh at how powerless he is.
Despite all this the Labour Party in its infinite wisdom decided that the London Mayoral election was the election they wanted to win at the expense of all other elections going on in the country.
As we've sadly come to expect from the Labour Party they set about this task in their usual grubby and undemocratic manner.
London has roughly 1.3 million Muslim voters the majority of whom can trace their heritage back to either India, Pakistan or Bangladesh. So the Labour Party simply nominated as their candidate Sadiq Khan who is a Muslim and the son of a Pakistani father. If you were to sum up Labour's election strategy in a single phrase it would be;
"All Muslims are thick as pig sh*t. They'll vote for one of their own no matter who he is."
As it turns out Sadiq Khan did - technically this morning - win the election with 1.3 million.
The fact this exactly matches my back of an envelope estimation of how many Muslim voters there are in London causes me to somewhat the validity of the entire process. After all if there is one election result you could simply make up without affecting the lives of voters in any way it would be the London Mayoral election.
I should point out though that London is traditionally a Labour leaning city. The defeated Labour candidate in 2012 still received 990,000 votes. As such there is a significant constituency who will vote for the Labour candidate regardless of who they are.
Added to that there is a significant proportion of young, white British voters who often attend the city's universities. Looking over Twitter and other social media it is clear that many of them have voted for the Muslim candidate because they think they're striking a blow against Donald Trump in the US or against the white Mummies and Daddies who gave them their comfortable home counties upbringing.
Therefore I think we can rest assured that there are at least 200,000 Muslim voters in London who were not stupid enough to fall for Khan's bigoted campaign. Or at least realised that the London Mayoral election really isn't worth the effort of voting in.
Khan's main challenger - Zac Goldsmith for the Conservative Party - didn't really contest the election at all. He did though reach out to London's Hindu and Sikh voters. This ignited a lot of the religious/racial tensions that are common in India, Pakistan and Bangladesh.
It also drove Khan's radical Muslim supporters into an absolute fury. Sadly not understanding the argument many white Londoners mistook their screams of racism as legitimate allowing Khan to portray himself as an anti-racism candidate.
Once the Labour activists screams of racism had reached fever pitch the Conservatives dropped the anti-Semitism bomb on them nationally.
This was not intended to alter the outcome of the London Mayoral race which wasn't viewed as a lost cause some much as not a cause at all. The intention was to hurt Labour in the 92 other races nationally where the voters tend to be older, wiser and less likely to view anti-Semitism as a positive.
What screwed the Conservatives over was their Chancellor (Finance Minister) George Osborne and his 2016 Budget which I covered here; http://watchitdie.blogspot.co.uk/2016/03/the-uk-budget-2016.html
That introduced plans to remove all schools from local authority controls. Schools are one of the few things that local authorities have control over and many voters are very happy with the way their local schools are being run. As such this policy caused those who would have switched from Labour to Conservative to change their mind and some Conservative voters to stay at home.
With the national picture beginning to emerge as yesterday went on the Conservatives announced that they were scrapping that policy. It fell to George Osborne to respond to the result of the London Mayoral election on behalf of the party.
Nationally it seems that the competing campaigns have succeeded only in cancelling each other out with "No Change" being the big result of the day. Labour did slip into third place in Scotland although that was part of a well established downwards trajectory for the party. Interestingly Labour lost ground to the UK Independence Party (UKIP) in Wales where the Labour Party was born. That seems to be further evidence of the party being rejected by Britain's working class voters.
In London people in the borough of Barnet were denied the right to vote after huge numbers of names were purged from the register of voters. Barnet has a significant Jewish population. With the eventual winner seeming to take great pride in the anti-Semitism and bigotry of his supporters the fact Britain's Chief Rabbi was denied his legal right to vote looks really bad.
Even without the racial element of the scandal events in Barnet provide more than ample grounds for the election result to be challenged in Court. Based on previous experience a Court investigation could well find that as many as 40% of postal votes cast for Labour are fraudulent. That would force the result to be vacated and the election re-run with Khan and the Labour Party barred from participating.
Alternatively we could all just get on with out lives once again forgetting that London's got a Mayor let alone what his name is.
13:225 on 7/5/16 (UK date).
Some of these such as the Scottish Parliamentary and the Assembly elections in Wales and Northern Ireland are worth taking note of. However with all three bodies being wholly subservient to the national government it is hard for a normal person to get excited about them. In fact in Northern Ireland it's actually a rule that the election will result in a draw and the main Protestant party and the main Catholic party will share power.
Across England there were also 89 local authority elections. I don't want to dismiss these as unimportant. However they are so hyper-local that in order to get excited the issues involved you really do need to actually live in the very small areas where the elections are taking place.
The election that everybody is talking about though is the London Mayoral election. This strikes me as odd because of all the elections taking place on Thursday the London Mayoral race is by far the least important.
I have lived in London for the best part of 30 years. I also have what I suppose you would call a particular interest in politics. However for the life of me I still cannot work out what the Mayor of London does. In fact having an interest in politics it seems to me that the job was only invented to prevent Northern Ireland's Protestants objecting to the peace process and the creation of the Northern Ireland Assembly.
Officially the Mayor of London controls a budget of GBP17bn (USD25.5bn) that he must get passed by the London Assembly/micro-Parliament of which there is no guarantee he controls. However without any real tax raising powers the Mayor's budget is entirely dependent on the amount of money the national government decides to give. With a Conservative government and a Labour Mayor this can get extremely nasty.
A large part of the Mayor's budget is spent on welfare payments such as Housing Benefit. These are set nationally and enshrined in law. As such it's really a case of the Mayor being told how much of his budget is going to be spent on welfare.
Another large part of the Mayor's budget goes on healthcare. In the UK this is controlled by what are known as Primary Care Trusts (PCT's). These not only operate outside of the control of local government but largely outside of the control of the national government. Therefore at best the Mayor gets to negotiate with the PCT's over healthcare. The Mayor is not their sole source of income and again there are legal minimums. As such the PCT's are very much the dominant party in those negotiations.
The Mayor also has some control over London's Metropolitan Police. However the UK is very clear about the police and the Courts being independent of political interference. As such the Mayor's role is really only to negotiate with the Police Commissioner as the junior partner. In practice it's often a case of the Police Commissioner simply handing the Mayor a bill which the Mayor is legally obligated to pay.
In terms of the small day-to-day duties such as refuse collection and licensing the sale of alcohol or the playing of music for entertainment these all remain the responsibility of the local authorities in control of the London Boroughs. I think the Mayor has the power to overrule the local authorities on local planning issues but only when the project in question can be viewed as being of benefit to all Londoners.
So basically the Mayor of London controls the city's underground rail (Metro) system known as "The Tube." That is it.
To put it in perspective Boris Johnson who remains the Mayor of London until at least Monday (9/5/16) managed to hold down not one but three other jobs while being Mayor. This included being an MP in the national government.
Due to the Freddie Grey case I am still following the Mayor of Baltimore, Maryland, US on Twitter. It seems that much of her - or person who controls her Twitter account - time is spent gossipping about things they've read on Twitter. However she continues to wield significantly more power than the Mayor of London.
On Thursday there was a big meeting of city Mayors from across the globe to discuss how they could respond to the threat of climate change. Well that was the first hour. The rest of the day was spent bullying the Mayor of London over how little power they hold.
I could continue making jokes about how insignificant the job of Mayor of London for a very long time. After all there are kids in filthy refugee camps in warzones who are fully entitled to point at the Mayor of London and laugh at how powerless he is.
Despite all this the Labour Party in its infinite wisdom decided that the London Mayoral election was the election they wanted to win at the expense of all other elections going on in the country.
As we've sadly come to expect from the Labour Party they set about this task in their usual grubby and undemocratic manner.
London has roughly 1.3 million Muslim voters the majority of whom can trace their heritage back to either India, Pakistan or Bangladesh. So the Labour Party simply nominated as their candidate Sadiq Khan who is a Muslim and the son of a Pakistani father. If you were to sum up Labour's election strategy in a single phrase it would be;
"All Muslims are thick as pig sh*t. They'll vote for one of their own no matter who he is."
As it turns out Sadiq Khan did - technically this morning - win the election with 1.3 million.
The fact this exactly matches my back of an envelope estimation of how many Muslim voters there are in London causes me to somewhat the validity of the entire process. After all if there is one election result you could simply make up without affecting the lives of voters in any way it would be the London Mayoral election.
I should point out though that London is traditionally a Labour leaning city. The defeated Labour candidate in 2012 still received 990,000 votes. As such there is a significant constituency who will vote for the Labour candidate regardless of who they are.
Added to that there is a significant proportion of young, white British voters who often attend the city's universities. Looking over Twitter and other social media it is clear that many of them have voted for the Muslim candidate because they think they're striking a blow against Donald Trump in the US or against the white Mummies and Daddies who gave them their comfortable home counties upbringing.
Therefore I think we can rest assured that there are at least 200,000 Muslim voters in London who were not stupid enough to fall for Khan's bigoted campaign. Or at least realised that the London Mayoral election really isn't worth the effort of voting in.
Khan's main challenger - Zac Goldsmith for the Conservative Party - didn't really contest the election at all. He did though reach out to London's Hindu and Sikh voters. This ignited a lot of the religious/racial tensions that are common in India, Pakistan and Bangladesh.
It also drove Khan's radical Muslim supporters into an absolute fury. Sadly not understanding the argument many white Londoners mistook their screams of racism as legitimate allowing Khan to portray himself as an anti-racism candidate.
Once the Labour activists screams of racism had reached fever pitch the Conservatives dropped the anti-Semitism bomb on them nationally.
This was not intended to alter the outcome of the London Mayoral race which wasn't viewed as a lost cause some much as not a cause at all. The intention was to hurt Labour in the 92 other races nationally where the voters tend to be older, wiser and less likely to view anti-Semitism as a positive.
What screwed the Conservatives over was their Chancellor (Finance Minister) George Osborne and his 2016 Budget which I covered here; http://watchitdie.blogspot.co.uk/2016/03/the-uk-budget-2016.html
That introduced plans to remove all schools from local authority controls. Schools are one of the few things that local authorities have control over and many voters are very happy with the way their local schools are being run. As such this policy caused those who would have switched from Labour to Conservative to change their mind and some Conservative voters to stay at home.
With the national picture beginning to emerge as yesterday went on the Conservatives announced that they were scrapping that policy. It fell to George Osborne to respond to the result of the London Mayoral election on behalf of the party.
Nationally it seems that the competing campaigns have succeeded only in cancelling each other out with "No Change" being the big result of the day. Labour did slip into third place in Scotland although that was part of a well established downwards trajectory for the party. Interestingly Labour lost ground to the UK Independence Party (UKIP) in Wales where the Labour Party was born. That seems to be further evidence of the party being rejected by Britain's working class voters.
In London people in the borough of Barnet were denied the right to vote after huge numbers of names were purged from the register of voters. Barnet has a significant Jewish population. With the eventual winner seeming to take great pride in the anti-Semitism and bigotry of his supporters the fact Britain's Chief Rabbi was denied his legal right to vote looks really bad.
Even without the racial element of the scandal events in Barnet provide more than ample grounds for the election result to be challenged in Court. Based on previous experience a Court investigation could well find that as many as 40% of postal votes cast for Labour are fraudulent. That would force the result to be vacated and the election re-run with Khan and the Labour Party barred from participating.
Alternatively we could all just get on with out lives once again forgetting that London's got a Mayor let alone what his name is.
13:225 on 7/5/16 (UK date).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
