Ukraine Update.

If everyone at the Winter Olympics seems tired and stressed out this is the reason why.

As previously mentioned yesterday the Ukrainian Parliament was scheduled to debate changes to the constitution. This prompted ant-Russian protesters who have been camped out in the capital since November 2013 to attempt to storm the Parliament building. Having been stopped by the police they proceeded to run riot in the streets around Parliament. By around 16:00 local time (14:00 GMT) at least five people had been killed including a police officer who'd been shot in the throat.

Obviously this is not acceptable in any capital city so at around 16:00 local time the Ukrainian government warned the protesters to leave the area before 18:00 (local) at which point police would move in to clear the area. In response protesters put out an open call for people to join the protest. At 18:00 (local) the police operation began and the protesters set fire to the barricades in an effort to block the police's path. This left the police with two option; either stand off or mount a hard assault on the protesters lines using things like armoured bulldozers which risks significant loss of civilian life. In the end the police opted for the first option leading to a stand-off in which petrol bombs, tear gas and live fire were exchanged by both sides. During this stand-off the protesters set fire to the trade unions building close to their camp and the death toll has risen to 26.

During this stand-off the Ukrainian President Yanukovych invited opposition politicians including Vitaly Klitschko to emergency talks aimed at ending the stand-off. Although this seems like a genuine attempt to end the violence these talks also served to highlight why the situation in Ukraine has provided such an apt metaphor for the situation in Syria. In short in both situations the people who the US in particular promote as the leaders of the protesters have absolutely no influence over the people on the ground who are engaged in extreme violence. For example the last time former heavyweight boxing champion Klitschko addressed the rioters calling for calm they beat him up.

While these late night talks were going on an unidentified opposition politician starting telling everyone that as soon as they finished Yanukovych would address the nation. This was an open lie intended to keep the rioting going by creating speculation that Yanukovych was about the announce his resignation and the keep everyone - especially Ukraine's neighbour Russia - awake in a state of tense expectation.

Overnight European nations led by Ukraine's other neighbour Poland have called for sanctions to be put in place in response to the violence and the European Union (EU) has this morning announced that it is considering putting in place sanctions in place against those responsible for the violence.

That puts the EU in an extremely difficult position because keen to prove to Saudi Arabia and Qatar that it's getting tough with Russia over Syria the US is actually being quite open about the fact it is responsible for the violence in Ukraine. For example the US Ambassador to Ukraine Geoffrey Pyatt yesterday released a video showing himself directing traffic in and around the protest camp - the message quite simply being; "We're directing things here."

As a result if the EU is to impose sanctions against the people responsible for the violence in Ukraine it is going to have to impose sanctions against the US.


13:00 on 19/2/14 (UK date).

The 2014 Winter Olympics: Day 12.

I think today's events warrant an early round up.

Today at the Winter Olympics Singapore born and British raised Vanessa Mae has been representing Thailand. Presumably because she's got her own skis. As Ms Mae is already internationally famous as a classical violinist Thailand decided that the attention this brings provides a fantastic opportunity to have its ongoing political crisis discussed internationally.

As such Thai police moved into to further break up the Born to Rule protester camps in the capital Bangkok. Rather predictably this was met with a violent response that so far has left three dead and at least 50 injured. At roughly the same time it was announced that Thailand's embattled Prime Minister Yingluck Shinawatra is to face criminal charges of corruption relating to a government rice subsidy program. This juxtaposition of the apparatus of state moving in to control the protests alongside allegations that the Prime Minister is corrupt is an attempt to make things appear as less like a Monarch led coup. The idea being to portray the apparatus of state (the police) as impartial while suggesting that there are legitimate grounds to doubt the integrity of the government. Of course what is actually happening is that the Monarchy is delaying its overthrow of the government until such a time as the widely popular Prime Minister's credibility has been eroded enough for the public to tolerate a coup.

Although I doubt that Olympic politics played a role Ms Mae's performance in the Super G event was disappointing at best with her finishing a lowly 67th. As one commentator on Twitter put it; "She beat everyone who fell down but none of the people who didn't."

Thailand's attempts to have their political situation discussed fared pretty much the same as Ms Mae's attempts to win a medal with the Thai political unrest being quickly replaced by political unrest in Sochi's neighbour Ukraine. Here anti-Russian protesters have attempted to storm the Parliament building while changes to the constitution were to be debated. So far five people have been reported killed amid clouds of tear gas, stun grenades, rubber bullets and petrol bombs.

The political unrest in Ukraine has been very long running and dates back to the Cold War when NATO countries led by the US funded, trained and directed nationalist groups to cause unrest in an attempt to destabilise the Soviet Union. This latest phase in this long running saga began in November 2013 when the European Union and the Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych conspired to allow Ukraine to withdraw from EU membership talks in order to ease tensions between Russia and the EU. This made the US furious because it is in their interests to keep the EU and Russia at each others throats. Also instability in the Ukraine provides the US with a way to exert pressure on Russia over Syria. Therefore the US seems to be leading today's violence in an effort to show the world that it is punishing Russia for the collapse of the Geneva II talks on regime change in Syria.

Also though the unrest in Ukraine provides the US with a much needed distraction from Thailand's efforts to have their political unrest discussed at the Olympics. Despite the fact the Thai Monarchy have never been exactly comfortable with the idea of an elected government they have remained close allies of the US providing a bulwark against South East Asian Communism during the Cold War and especially during the Vietnam war. As such the US decided to reward Thailand by granting them not one but two surprise visits by Rihanna during the third leg of her 2013 Diamonds World Tour. The idea was to give Thailand an advantage over its neighbours - particularly China. As it turns out this went spectacularly wrong with Rihanna's visits to Thailand actually weakening the nation to the point where they were glad to get rid off her. The current coup attempt is a direct consequence of Rihanna's trip there so is something that Rihanna's CIA handlers are extremely sensitive about.

In spite of all this it looks like the big story of the day at the Olympics is going to be the arrest of two members (Maria Alyokhina and Nadezhda Tolokonnikova) of the band "Pussy Riot" in Sochi on suspicion of theft. Along with Yekaterina Samutsevich Alyonkhina and Tolokonnikova rose to international prominence in February 2012 when the were jailed after performing quite an offensive song in Moscow's Cathedral of Christ the Saviour in what they termed a protest against Vladimir Putin. This latest arrest though seems to be a response to the antics of a Italian former MP who has been making quite the exhibition of herself in and around the Olympic park.

On Sunday (16/2/14) Vladimir Luxuria (possibly not her real name) claims she was arrested on the streets of Sochi for waving the Rainbow flag that symbolises gay pride/rights. Nobody witnessed this arrest and the police certainly have no record of the arrest. However having got her name known by a few members of the press on Monday (17/2/14) Ms Luxuria decided that she would harass people as the entered the Bolshoi arena for the evening's women's ice hockey game. Dressed as though she's been vomited on by a Drag Queen and followed around by a scrum of reporters Ms Luxuria spent a couple of hours screaming and shouting at the top of her lungs. Eventually Olympic security removed Ms Luxuria from the venue and she was stripped of her credentials meaning she is unable to re-enter the Olympic park.

The important thing to remember about Ms Luxuria is that she is a lunatic attention seeker. That is to say she probably suffers from a mild form of narcissistic personality disorder that means she is only happy when people are talking about her and she is the centre of attention. Beyond that I suspect she is keen to be seen protesting for gay rights in the hope of picking up support amongst the LGBT community in her native Italy ahead of an attempt to relaunch her political career.

However the way that she has been able to gain Olympic accreditation appears to be the result of a co-production between Italy and the UK to curry favour amongst Russian homophobes by highlighting the fact many gay rights protesters (few of whom are actually gay) are indeed suffering from a form of mental illness. The UK has today followed up Ms Luxuria's antics with a pre-planned announcement demanding that the mentally ill are no longer locked up in police cells. The message is quite simply; "Here in the UK we think that homosexuals are mentally ill but maybe Russia should try treating them rather then locking them up?"

15:55 on 18/2/14 (UK date) - It's a live write so bear with me.

Edited at around 16:20 on 18/2/14 (UK date) to add;

This allegiance between Italy and the UK has actually become something of a story of the games itself. That's because it seems to have been tested to breaking point by the acrimony between Britain's Elise Christie and Italy's Arianna Fontana in the women's speed skating. Today Christie managed to both stay on the track and avoid crashing into any other competitors in her 1000m heat meaning that she will go through to Friday's (21/2/14) final. The Italian Prime Minister who presided over Italy and the UK's pre-Olympic planning has fared less well and Enrico Letta stepped down last Friday (14/2/14). I hope that this doesn't become too much of hindrance to Italy's political left because it's quite clear that Italy's main problem is that as with Greece the Italian Establishment contains far too many actual fascists.

The way that Alyonkhina and Tolokonnikova of Pussy Riot fame have provided Russia's response to Ms Luxuria's antics is actually quite interesting. While they have been sort of elevated to hero status by much of the western media Pussy Riot have actually been subject to a very different narrative within Russia - something along the lines of; "When will these silly girls grow up?"

Pussy Riot's Cathedral stunt occurred during a wave of protests that followed the 2011 Russian elections. In the west these were widely labelled as "Anti-Putin protests." However being inspired by the "Occupy" protests they were more protests against everything that is wrong with modern Russia. Many of the protesters demands mirrored perfectly a series of seven articles published in various Russian newspapers that highlighted Russia's political problems and put forward credibly suggestions of how to solve them. The author of those articles was Vladimir Putin. Alongside the very strong opening ceremony to the Sochi games this paints a picture of a nation that it acutely aware of its faults and is calling on its people to pull together to work towards a better future.

As such I do genuinely hope that Alyonkhina and Tolokonnikova did decide to commit the theft in order that they could be arrested to allow Russia to respond to Ms Luxuria's antics. That's because I think it would be a rather positive end to Pussy Riot's personal "journey" if they decided to start working for change in Russia rather then constantly trying to fight against it.

16:55 on 18/2/14 (UK date).


Edited at around 18:00 on 18/2/14 (UK date) to add; Having had a moment to think about it I'm not sure if I made this clear.

Vladimir Luxuria's strange behaviour is an (not very good) example of the sort of spontaneous, unilateral protest that the US and others were trying to encourage through the Principle 6/1.2.6 campaign. The idea being that these small protests suddenly spring up causing the Russian organisers and the International Olympic Committee (IOC) a lot of stress as they try to deal with them. However because they are intended to be just individuals acting on their own it is quite difficult to track them back to a specific nation.

By lionising the Pussy Riot girls pretty much since they emerged but especially in the run up to the Sochi games the US has been trying to build them up in the hope of inspiring Russian spectators at the games to stage this Luxuria-type of unilateral protests. That would be particularly embarrassing for the Russians because at first glance it would look like the Russian authorities trying to stamp out domestic protest.

As such the Russians used the Pussy Riot girls as their response to Ms Luxuria in order to highlight the strategy behind the Principle 6/1.2.6 campaign. That has the added effect of highlighting the major flaw in Russia's anti-gay propaganda laws because if Russian adults aren't allowed to help Russian youngsters come to terms with their homosexuality those youngsters will instead turn to the Internet where they can fall easily victim to western agitators in much the same way the Pussy Riot girls have.

The 2014 Winter Olympics: Day 11(ish).

The big story of the day has been the weather. Overnight fog meant that visibility on the mountains and at the sliding centre was extremely poor resulting in the cross country skiing and the women's snowboarding events have had to be postponed until tomorrow. There have also been concerns about the men's two man bobsleigh event.

Although it has been at its most significant today this is not the first time that the weather has caused problems at the Sochi games. From the start of the practise events skiers and snowboarders have been complaining that the warm conditions have created soft, almost sticky snow that you normally associate with spring. As this type of snow offers more friction then the harder, more tightly packed snow that people are used to it has slowed the competitors down meaning that there is little chance of records being broken at these games. The warm weather has also been causing problems at the sliding centre where the Luge and Bobsleigh events are held. Basically as the heat of the the day progresses moisture builds up in the air. When that moisture comes in contact with the ice at the sliding centre it forms a top layer of rough, slow ice which is known rather delightfully as "Whore Ice." Over the course of a day's competition this can become a serious problem with those competing later simply being unable to match the times of earlier competitors because the track conditions don't allow them to.

The problems with the warm weather has led many to question why a Winter Olympics are being held in a southern, coastal city which has roughly the same climate as southern European nations on the Mediterranean Sea and on certain days of competition has been slightly warmer then Madrid, Spain. The first answer to that question is that Sochi is Russia's gay capital making it the perfect location for discussions about gay rights in Russia particularly if you want to spread Sochi's relatively tolerant attitude to the rest of the country. The second reason is that the warm weather was always going to cause problems for some of the Winter Olympic events. That provides a fantastic opportunity for a discussion about global warming/climate change because I don't think any of the Winter Olympians are considering a warmer climate to be a good thing.

Throughout the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC) process Russia - along with the US and the UK - has been one of the most obstructive nations when it comes to taking action to combat climate change. However far from being caused by any doubt that climate change is man made Russia's position has come from a calculation that a warmer climate will melt arctic sea ice opening up more shipping routes and increasing Russian access to warm water sea ports - something that has been highly important to Russia since Peter the Great built the Russian Empire by turning the country into a great seafaring nation. The discussions and arguments about the quality of the snow and ice on the mountains and in the sliding centre - particularly how they are being affected by the heat - are exactly the type of discussions that are had at UNFCCC conferences only on a much grander scale. The Russian's primary objective is to promote discussion about climate change to find out where other nations stand on the issue. However by portraying global warming as something negative Russia also seems to be re-stating the about turn it announced at the COP19/CMP9 and is now indicating that it is prepared to take a leading role in the fight against climate change. I'm obviously pleased about that but with Russia spending the last 18 years pushing in the wrong direction it will take time to build up trust that their change of direction is genuine.

Realising that climate change is becoming one of the main issues at the Sochi games US Secretary of State John Kerry used a trip to Indonesia yesterday (16/2/14)  to focus on the topic. Although I haven't studied every single word uttered during the visit Kerry's message seemed to be that he, President Obama and the rest of the Democrat Party are utterly convinced by global warming and desperately want to take action - it's just that those nasty Republicans in Congress won't let them. Sadly this "It's all the Republicans Fault" is very much the narrative of the Democrats 2014 mid-term election campaign that President Obama kicked off with his State of the Union speech and is being applied to every political issue in the US at the moment including immigration reform, women's rights and the minimum wage debate to name but a few. As is such it seems the US' actual position on Climate Change is that it's a fun thing to have around because it can be used as a way to discuss other matters and achieve other political goals. This is the attitude that has plagued the UNFCCC process from the start. As a result the South Korean's response was particularly aggressive but with Kerry in Seoul today's university building roof collapse obviously covers a range of issues besides climate change.

Aside from the fog in Sochi the environment has been very active in the US and the UK and seems to be attempting to move the discussion about its future onto the topic of Hydraulic Fracturing (Fracking). Overnight there was a small (4.1) earthquake in the US state of Ohio.. Added to the recent small earthquake in the state if Georgia this is starting to look like a pattern of small earthquakes in an area that mimics the proposed route of the Keystone XL pipeline and the US' Midwestern fracking boom. Although there is a lack of good quality data surrounding this new technology opponents of fracking claim that it can cause small earthquakes of this type.

Here in the UK we're all being given a sudden crash course in the phenomenon of Sink Holes. Having never really experienced these in the UK we've suddenly seen five large ones in the space of a few days including one that closed a major motorway. These are almost certainly a consequence of all the recent flooding. Although there can be certain engineering issues generally sink holes occur when water gets into the bedrock causing it to dissolve. Once the bedrock has been dissolved you're left with a cavern meaning that the ground above can no longer support its own weight so collapses. As the entire point of fracking is to inject pressurised water and chemicals into bedrock in order to dissolve it I am very interested to know why supporters of fracking don't think it causes sink holes.

Away from the discussions about the natural environment/climate change there has inevitably been some continued fall out from the collapse of the Geneva II process on Syria over the weekend. Basically this has taken the form of US Secretary of State Kerry putting out some very aggressive statements blaming the entire failure on Russia and the Syrian government. I suppose we should be thankful for the fact that as far as I can tell the US has managed to keep the issue out of the Olympics themselves although let's be honest the US's sudden interest in gay rights in Russia is just a device to attack Russia over Syria.

It was the collapse of the Geneva II process that caused a Ethiopian passenger jet (Boeing 767) bound for Rome to be hijacked and diverted to Geneva this morning. African nations - particularly eastern ones bordering Somalia - are very concerned by the situation in Syria. That's because the international community's failure to stand up to the Syrian insurgency has sent the message that this sort of behaviour is acceptable and will go unpunished. As a result you have seen similar Islamist led insurgencies popping up across Africa in places like Somalia, Ethiopia, Kenya and even as far afield as Nigeria and although I hesitate to declare it a religious conflict the Central African Republic (CAR). Last week's London Conference on the Illegal Wildlife Trade 2014 which Ethiopia attended was set up specifically to provide a coded discussion about Islamist terrorism in Africa. Sadly the objective seemed to be to allow the UK to better support Islamist terrorists against these African governments. Needless to Ethiopia which isn't participating at the Olympics is feeling a bit stressed and trying to work out what is going on.

As such I should probably point out that the wave of parcel bombs sent to British Army recruiting centres on the day of the conference were initially supposed to be interpreted as Islamist attacks. Once it was revealed that they were the work of 'Northern Irish terrorists' it was supposed to promote discussion about the political situation in Northern Ireland which does have some relevance to the situations in Nigeria and CAR. Of course in the script I was also meant to chasing up this criminal damage business at the time which would have helped exert pressure on the African delegates by confusing matters further although that turned out to be something of a moot point.

So there you have it I've managed to write almost two pages on the days events in and around the Winter Olympics whilst barely mentioning sport at all.

20:10 on 17/2/14 (UK date).

Operation Misery: Month 12, Week 3, Day 1.

I've decided that if I leave this post title here long enough eventually it will consume us all - much like a collapsing star.

On Friday (14/2/14) Miley Cyrus did indeed begin her tour in the 2010 Winter Olympic host city of Vancouver, Canada. As I said in a previous post on the subject; http://watchitdie.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/operation-misery-month-12-week-2-day-4.html while I won't be covering it if a video of the show became available I would watch it really just to satisfy my own casual curiosity.

Last night I had a quick look on YouTube but no such video exists. From the tiny bit of the show that I did see - the opening song I think - it seems heavily influenced by the video for the Robin Thicke song "Give It 2 U." This of course brings back memories of Miley Cyrus' eye-popping duet at the 2013 Video Music Awards (VMA). Coming just days before the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King's famous "I Have a Dream" speech the VMA performance was supposed to promote discussion about race relations in the US.

I think it goes without saying that the Cyrus family are pretty much country music royalty in the US. Country music is traditional listened to by white American rednecks who can have a reputation for being a bit racist. However through her current career direction Miley Cyrus is also taking on influences of Hip Hop/RnB music which is more traditionally associated with black people. The fact that Miley Cyrus is clearly a lot more talented then many of her peers means that this mimicking could easily be perceived by the public as a type of mockery. As such Live Nation appear to be trying to pique our interest in Miley Cyrus' tour by making it appear that it is provoking some big discussion about race in the US.

To help this along Miley Cyrus' tour was accompanied by the trial of Micheal Dunn. Occurring in not only the same state (Florida) but pretty much the same local district as the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman case this centred around a white man - Dunn - who was filling his car up at a gas station when a car load of young black men drove up playing really loud music. Dunn told them to turn the music down prompting the young men to become highly aggressive. Dunn then opened fire on the car killing one and injuring others. At trial he claimed he'd seen what he though was a gun and was acting in self-defence. The Jury disagreed convicting him of two counts of second degree murder. As with the Zimmerman case I think this was just genuine crime in the sense that it is normal in criminal cases to look at all parties and conclude that none of them were in the right.

Making it appear that Miley Cyrus' tour is prompting discussion about race is a particularly neat hook to use at the Winter Olympics. Along with gay rights racism - particularly towards people of African descent - is something the Russian hosts need to and are working on. The hope seems to be that everyone will look at Miley Cyrus and the US debate for pointers. That said the way the US has spectacularly screwed up the gay rights debate I doubt many will be looking towards them for leadership on the race issue.

Also Rihanna has been seen out and about and posted Instagram pictures of herself wearing what is essentially a bathing suit/underwear underneath flowing coat that makes lots of reference to Arab culture. I suppose in a way we should be happy that Rihanna is finally starting to communicate again but by neatly encompassing excessive nudity with Arab culture I can only conclude that either her CIA handlers have got her so full of fear that she is incapable of making good decisions or that I've p*ssed her off so much in the last week she's now doing things just to spite me. I suppose though we should be open to the possibility that Rihanna hasdecided that she hates her life and career so is now doing everything in her power to destroy both.


12:35 on 17/2/14 (UK date).

The 2014 Winter Olympics: Day 10(ish)

Today has been a momentous day in the history of the modern Olympic movement. The Indian flag has been raised over the games and the nation has been officially welcomed into the competition. This represents the first time that a nation has been welcomed into the Olympic movement during either a Winter or Summer games.

The reason why India was a little late this year is that in an incident that possibly reflects a wider problem within the nation their election of Olympic delegates was mired in accusations of corruption and ballot rigging. After months of negotiation the International Olympic Committee (IOC) was left with no other option then to suspend India from the modern Olympic movement under the 6th principle of the Olympic charter. Having suffered the humiliation of having Indian Winter Olympians enter the arena as independent athletes during the opening ceremony the Indian Olympic Organising Committee swiftly held a fresh election that was found to be up to IOC standards and India's suspension was lifted.

This has probably been the most controversial issue of the 2014 games with people across the world being asked to take part in Principle 6 protests to remind the IOC of their duty. I believe that the American fashion designer Alexander Wang even produced a range of very expensive (USD125) beanie hats to highlight the issue and as part of the quid pro quo of taking Rihanna to Brazil US Vogue magazine were forced to include Wang's design in their current US edition which featured Rihanna on the cover.

Of course there is a possibility that those involved in the Principle 6 (P6) campaign thought they were bravely campaigning for equal rights for homosexuals. After all Principle 1.2.6 of the Olympic charter states that discrimination based on any grounds is incompatible with belonging to the Olympic Movement. I would hate for that to be the case though because along with presenting the straw man argument that homosexuality has a genetic base choosing the wrong section of the Olympic code does rather make gay rights protesters appear as a bunch of hysterical and reactionary lunatics whose relationship with reality is tenuous at best. That is hardly the sort of image that is going to convince people that homosexuals should be left alone with children.

Beyond the India debacle there has been some serious news that can't have avoided forcing it's way into the Olympic bubble. Basically on Saturday (15/2/14) the Geneva II talks that are intended to bring regime change to Syria ended with no suggestion that they will ever resume. It is hard for me to form an opinion on this because the US designated representatives of the 'Syrian Opposition' bear no resemblance to the Syrian insurgents who are actually fighting against the Syrian government. However I suppose we should be grateful that there is now one fewer thing for us all to trip over.

In response to the collapse of Geneva II the anti-Russian protesters in Ukraine had withdrawn from one of the government buildings they seized. This is obviously the Ukrainian anti-Russian protesters enquiring as whether they've simply been taken for fools and used as a metaphor for the Saudi-led insurgency in Syria. On the plus side though I suppose it highlights the importance of protecting a nation's population from foreign interference, especially via the Internet.

Anyway at around 20:40 on 16/2/14 (UK date) it appears that I'm a little bit drunk, digesting food and running a little bit late. So more words will appear here shortly. I promise.

Edited at around 20:50 on 16/2/14 (UK date) to add;

As for the games themselves politically things have been a bit subdued. Partly this is due to India issue and the collapse Geneva II. Mainly though it is as a result of the fall out from yesterday's Russia V USA preliminary men's Ice Hockey match.

The good news is that with Obama taking a day off the US appears to have found some testicles with the news that a Colorado Avalanche has left a number of skiers missing. The fact that Russia's goal tender Semyon Varlamov plays in the US NHL for the Colorado Avalanches means that this sounds dangerously like trash talk from the US. Sadly the fact that two of those skiers have since been found dead sounds like the US posing the question of "How far is too far?"  Although that sounds like p*ssy talk to me the fact that the US have now all but qualified for the quarter finals by beating Slovenia 5-1 means that everyone can start playing again. Having squeaked two points off a Slovakian team that had suddenly learnt how to defend it looks likely that Russia will have to face a play-off.

Perhaps reacting to the India issue or the Colorado issue British snowboarder Rowan Cheshire decided to crash during training. Having being knocked unconscious the British team demanded that Cheshire be rushed to the same hospital as Russian skier Maria Komissarova for a little game of "How injured is she?" Fortunately the British team finally conceded that is was just a mild concussion and Cheshire is expected to continue. The fact that Cheshire injured herself by pulling a faceplant means that this could have been a reference to the India issue. After all most people's reaction to the US' P6 campaign was "#Facepalm" which is the internationally recognised Internet symbol for; "OMG, You F*cking Idiots." The speculation that Cheshire might have been seriously injured is of course a reference to the "How far is too far?" question.

The main event of the day though was the start of the men's two man bobsleigh event which featured the Jamaican Bobsleigh team. This of course provided an opportunity to discuss the issue of race within Russian society - specifically the issue of African people, after all they've got sh*t loads of Asians over there. Firstly the Jamaican team along with a select few other Winter Olympians are genuinely the first black people that many of  the Russian visitors to Sochi have ever seen in the flesh. Secondly I think the Jamaican team are getting a little tired of all those references to the 1994 Disney film "Cool Runnings." While I'm sure that the Russian guy who turned up in a Rastafarian hat and dreadlocks wig carrying a Bob Marley flag was trying to show his support those are exactly the sort of stereotypes that can cause a lot of offence.

Finally the UK has announced that Wayne Rooney has not signed a new contract to play for Manchester United Football club. Basically the UK and sections of the US were hoping that I would be spending the Winter Olympics chasing up the Criminal Damage nonsense that I was embroiled in for much of 2013. Needless to say that hasn't been happening but the other day my cellphone did call up my lawyers while I was sitting there watching it.

21:20 on 16/2/14 (UK date).

The 2014 Winter Olympics: Day 9(ish)

Clearly the organisers of the Winter Olympics don't share my passion for doing as little as possible on Saturdays so it has been another action packed day. For example Victor An won gold for South Korea in the men's 1000m short-track skate, Alexander Tretiakov won gold for Russia in the men's skeleton bobsleigh and Kamil Stoch won gold for Poland in the men's ski-jumping to name but a few.

There was also a little bit of controversy for Britain's somewhat disastrous speed skater Elise Christie both on and off the track. Off the track Christie claims that she has been forced to quit Twitter after being bullied by horrible Internet trolls. This is clearly an attempt to forward the UK's agenda for introducing more government control over the Internet using the threat of cyber-bullying as an excuse. It was also though an attempt to provide a possible excuse for Christie's bizarre behaviour during the 1500m qualifier.

Christie was on course for a photo-finish with Italy's Arianna Fontana when she decided to skate off the track meaning that she failed to cross the finish line and technically did not finish the race. Far from being a mistake this was deliberate attempt by the British team to re-run the argument about Christies disqualification from Thursday's (13/2/14) 500m final. What happened in that race is that Christie was trying to over-take Fontana on the inside but ran out of room so was forced off the track and fell causing a crash the knocked over all but one of the other competitors. 

The judges ruled that the crash was Christie's fault for leaving the track but the British team felt that it was Fontana's fault for failing to yield. To be honest it seemed to me to be a genuine 50/50 call but what tipped it in Fontana's favour was the fact that Britain had been attempting to attack the Russian hosts with an announcement by it's National Crime Agency that people should be careful using gay dating websites such as Grindr. The British team have announced that they respect the judges decision over the 1500m incident but in reality what I think they're trying to do is make Christie out to be something of a put-upon victim so if she screws up again in the 1000m event the judges will be pressured into cutting her some slack.

Not content to simply irritate the International Olympic Committee (IOC) with Elise Christie the UK has also linked up with the US for a particularly brutal publicity stunt in which UK pop-music Simon Cowell became a father with the American Lauren Silverman. My real given name is Simon so one level this was the UK and the US trying to find out if anyone still believes or is in any way interested in the long standing but poorly substantiated rumour that I fathered a child by raping a women. However beyond that the fact that Silverman was able to give Cowell around 12 hours notice that she intended to go into labour means that this child was either delivered by cesarean section or the birth was medical induced. Also it is widely rumoured that Simon Cowell is a homosexual who has likely never had sex with a women meaning that this child was likely conceived by IVF if Cowell was involved at all. As such this was intended to promote discussion about gay couples becoming parents through IVF treatment. 

This will obviously please Russian gay rights activists as they campaign against the fear that homosexuality will destroy Russia through a falling birth rate. However to more homophobic ears this whole thing makes homosexuality seem even more unnatural and frankly a bit sinister. So once again this is the US trying to play both sides making friends with both Russia's ray-rights activists and Russia's homophobes possibly in the hope of uniting them in anti-government protests should Russian refuse to play ball on Syria.

At around the time that Silverman was giving birth Canadian born but US resident actress Ellen Page publicly announced that she was gay at an event to help gay teenagers. This was a clear attempt by the US to attract gay Russians by showing how welcoming and tolerant it is. I would say that this has become a daily event during the Sochi games but the truth is that the US has been putting out three or four of these stories a day. Seriously if they carry on at this rate by the end of the para-Olympics I pretty sure every single one of the roughly 350 million people currently living in the US will have come out as gay. My money's on Justin Bieber next.

All of this was in serious danger of being completely overshadowed by the fact that the USA was playing Russia in the men's Ice Hockey. This match was just a preliminary event so while not unimportant it is more about deciding how the knock-out competition would be organised rather then the competition itself. That didn't stop the big guns coming out though. On Friday (14/2/14) Russian President Vladimir Putin made a surprise visit to the US team's hotel. I'm sure that this was intended as a friendly gesture supposed to symbolise how good the relationship between Russia and the US is now the Cold War is over. The only problem is that wherever the former KGB officer goes and whatever he does Vladimir Putin does come across as extremely intimidating.

Whatever the intention of Putin's visit it certainly had an impact because later on Friday Rihanna's CIA handlers were on their absolute best behaviour. With the Drake stunt happening last Friday (7/2/14) rumours have been swirling that Drake and Rihanna would be meeting up for a romantic Valentine's Day liaison. The most specific of these was that Rihanna would be going to Drake's private residence for dinner which would be very difficult for people to verify. Instead Rihanna and her friend Melissa Forde were marched off to a concert by the rock band Imagine Dragons that was being put on by Live Nation in Los Angeles that night. Although no official statement was issued it didn't take long for members of the public to start posting on the Internet pictures of a very bored looking Rihanna at the concert. Those images demonstrated both Rihanna's location and the fact she was nowhere near Drake.

Even the natural environment seemed to get in on the act with an overnight earthquake in the US state of Georgia. Although at just 4.4 this was only a small earthquake you don't normally get earthquakes in Georgia with I think only four recorded in the last hundred years. As I've explained the US state of Georgia provides an easy reference to the nation state of Georgia that went to war with Russia in 2008. So this earthquake seemed to be the environment demanding that both the US and Russia stop mucking about and start paying it the attention it deserves.

As for the game itself being too hungover to calculate the time difference I ended up missing the first two periods. From the third period though it was clear that being the early stages of the competition both teams were playing within themselves in order to avoid showing exactly good they are. However it was obvious that the Russians were the stronger team and apparently the US were completely useless throughout much of the second period. This presents a bit of a problem for the IOC because now a lot of people are keen to see Russia and the US duke it out in knock-out match, ideally the one for the gold medal. Unfortunately on this form it looks like the US may well struggle against teams like Slovenia and Canada meaning that they may not even make it into the knock-out competition. Also a lot of people have noticed that throughout Obama's Presidency whenever the US is faced with a challenge it simply runs away. Therefore with Russia so openly challenging them the US may well throw the contest.

Obviously it would be unfair for the IOC to try and manipulate games involving other nations but in this head to head meeting it was quite clear that the referees were doing everything in their power to make sure that the US would win and ideally with the full 3 points that would almost certainly guarantee them a place in the knock-out competition. So for example when the US went 2-1 up it came during a powerplay after a Russian player had been sin-binned on a curious hooking call. Also having equalised the Russians went 3-2 up only to have their goal disallowed because a US player had knocked the US net a few millimetres off its mounting which is an extremely strict interpretation of the rules. Even with this help the US still couldn't manage it in either normal time or extra time so the game went to a penalty shoot-out or "winning goals" as it's known in the Olympics. Eventually the US managed to win this epic shoot-out earning themselves just 2 points.

Also I can't help but think that today's fire at the UK's National Record's Archives was an attempt to promote discussion about not only about how I knew about the infamous "Doomsday Clock" that it currently my Twitter avatar but how the hell do I know anything about Ice Hockey?

Finally on a more serious note Russian skicross skier Maria Komissarova has today suffered a broken and dislocated back during practise. I find it extremely unlikely that someone who is as passionate about sport as your average Olympian would ever risk paralysing themselves for a publicity stunt but there is a possibility that the Russians may be lying about Komissarova's real condition. However I cannot see to what end so it seems that this is just an unfortunate and very serious accident and I'm sure everyone will be hoping Komissarova makes a full and speedy recovery.


21:35 on 15/2/14 (UK date).

The 2014 Winter Olympics: Day 8(ish).

Hello, I'm a little bit drunk. What's more due to the effort of cleaning bathrooms and cooking dinners I've not had the opportunity to write this up in advance. As a result it appears that I'm going to have to do it live, stream of consciousness style.

Due to the aforementioned chores I've not really had the opportunity to look at the incident yesterday (13/2/14) in which a Russian track worker suffered two broken legs following a collision with a bobsleigh. However due to the similarities with the death of Georgian Luger Nodar Kumaritashvili at the 2010 Vancouver games I think we should be open to the possibility that this engineered so Russia could point out it wasn't entirely happy with Georgia's 2008 invasion. After all this was your typical war of conquest. That is to say Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili felt that his nation wasn't big enough so decide to invade the nation next door in order to steal a bit of it. The only twist is that in his battle plan Saakashvili calculated that such was western animosity towards Russia that all he needed to do was provoke Russia into retaliating and NATO would swoop in to do the rest. Needless to say he got this calculation badly wrong. 

One story I have been able to look at in more detail is yesterday's (13/2/14) sudden retirement of Russian figure skater Evgeny Plushenko moments before he was due to compete. Although hugely dramatic I don't think there was anything fake or political about this. At the age of 31 Plushenko has reached the point where the human body has started to decline. Having competed in three Olympics and numerous world championships Plushenko has put his body through more then most. So yesterday I think that sadly he did just pull a muscle in his back which left him unable to compete forcing him to call an end to what has been a glittering career. Somehow I think that even his opponents were a little bit sad about that.

One event which I've been provided with more information then I could ever want or need is today's women's skeleton bobsleigh final which apparently I was competing in. Back in Vancouver Britain's Amy Williams won gold in this event making only the 9th Brit to win gold at the Winter Olympics in what seemed like a commentary on the lesbian wife the British state seized from me back in 2006 - apparently Amy was going downhill faster then any woman on earth. However a gold medal is a gold medal so in the intervening years Team GB (winter division) having been focusing all their efforts on the women's skeleton bobsleigh event. After all grownups compete in the Luge.

With all of the UK's efforts focused on winning gold in the women's skeleton bobsleigh this was also the event where the UK's political efforts were dedicated. This mainly seemed centred on provoking gay Olympians into embarrassing unilateral protests against Russia's anti-gay propaganda laws in order to put pressure on Russia over it's support for the Syrian government. The main thrust of this involved getting to get the now retired Amy Williams to join the BBC Sport commentary team. From that much was made of the fact that Amy Williams rents a flat to top British prospect Lizzy Yarnold. The subtext being that Amy Williams and Lizzy Yarnold are gay for each other and Yarnold pays her rent with sex. Also William's enthusiastic and suggestive style of commentary kind of gave the impression that rather then competing in an Olympic event all the women were in fact performing oral sex on her. The idea being that this would create a lot of speculation about which athletes were gay and which were not. In fact I would go so far to say that the only point of UK Channel 4's recent disaster "The Jump" was to give Williams the opportunity to practise for this role.

In the end a combination of Team GB's efforts being focused on nothing else and other nations feeling they'd better give the UK something lest it threw a stop meant that Lizzy Yarnold did in fact win gold. However this does provide me with an opportunity to point out that in my experience homosexuals seem far more interested in the "Whose Gay?!?" game then heterosexuals. In fact the way that gay men in particular seem utterly obsessed with this kind of gives the impression they're mentally damaged perverts who will try and have sex with everyone the meet much like Jimmy Savile and other well known paedophiles. So in summary;

"Bristol's sh*t, Bath's worse. Good luck with the medal ceremony."

Today's massive contribution to the gay rights theme though came from researchers at Chicago University, US who claim to have identified chromosomal variations that indicate the existence of gene that causes homosexuality. I'm actually surprised that this announcement hasn't received wider media attention because in scientific terms it is about as earth shattering as the announcement by scientists at the Large Hadron Collider that they had disproved Einstein's special theory of relativity. Perhaps the subdued nature of the reporting comes from the fact that this has about the same level of credibility.

When DNA was first discovered in the 1950's the prevailing psychological wisdom was that homosexuality was a mental disorder similar to paedophilia. Knowing that this wasn't true gay rights campaigners at the time simply grabbed the nearest available headline and used it to justify their argument. The problem is that over the next 60 odd years a lot of people have done a lot of research in this area and have not only failed to find a gay gene but also failed to find any evidence that one might exist. This study changes that but although I haven't read it I suspect that it's authors will soon quietly be publishing a retraction before collecting a big US government cheque so they can go off an do some proper research. For example from my reading of the media coverage they don't appear to have used a control group in their study but I'm really hoping their actual deliberate mistake isn't something so elementary and obvious. 

Of course the inability to prove that homosexuality is genetic does not mean that it is a mental disorder or indeed a choice. I am building myself to the big discussion of the subject but in the meantime you might like to read up on a pesticide known as DDT or a herbicide known as Agent Orange. Funnily enough the US is an expert on both of those subjects.

Sadly the fact that it is extremely unlikely that there is a genetic cause for homosexuality will sound to most people as "Homosexuality is a choice" which is music to the ears of homophobes in Russia and beyond. Also revealing that gay-rights activists have knowingly been lying about a genetic basis for homosexuality for generations makes them look like a bunch of manipulative and exploitative liars who will say and do anything to justify their perversion. Those are exactly the sort of people I would want to have laws keeping them away from my children. 

So by setting this discussion in motion the US appears to be trying to cosy up to Russian homophobes, possibly for post-Olympic anti-Putin protests, while at the same time making it look like they're taking a brave stand for gay rights.

21:15 on 14/2/14 (UK date).