Last night the 2014 Winter Olympics officially opened in Sochi, Russia with the traditional opening ceremony. If I had to identify a main theme of this ceremony it would be;
"Russia: There Long Before Communism. Still Here After."
It is traditional for Olympic opening ceremonies to welcome visitors by teaching them a little bit about the host nation's history and culture. For Russia this is particularly important because when you ask people about Russia everyone immediately talks about the Communism of the Soviet Union completely ignoring the long and rich history of this vast nation. In a way that is the Russians own fault because under Communism any reference to Russia's pre-Revolution history or cultural giants were banned for being too bourgeois or subversive to revolutionary ideals. Also due to the Cold War mentality many in the west still find it difficult to say anything nice about the old enemy.
From the start the opening ceremony set about to change this with the opening video centring on the 33 letter Russian alphabet. Each letter was represented by a famous Russian or a Russian achievement in science or technology. So for example there was novelist Alexander Pushkin, artist Wassily Kandinsky, playwright Anton Chekhov, classical composer Peter Tchaikovsky, Igor Sikorsky who founded the Sikorsky helicopter corporation and physicist Albert Einstein along with famous Russian leaders such as Catherine the Great and Peter the Great. Noticeable by their absence were any of the great icons of Russian Communism such as Vladimir Lenin, Leon Trotsky, Alexander Bogdanov or Joseph Stalin which was a conscious effort to play down that element of Russian history. The video did address the fact the Russia was the first nation to put an object into orbit and the first nation to send a man into space but managed to gloss over the political backdrop to these great achievements making no reference to either the Cold War or the Space Race with the US.
The opening act established the narrative for the ceremony of a little girl called Lubov (Russian for love) taking a journey across Russia and its history. This began with Lubov being hoisted onto a high-wire to give the impression of her flying over nine islands that were also suspended in the air. These nine islands were supposed to represent Russia's nine different timezones and environmental regions that stretch from the Asian deserts of Russia's borders with Mongolia and China through to the frigid arctic cold of Siberia.
Above Lubov and the islands there were further pieces of set which initially were in the shape of the moon and stars to represent time, navigation and travel. However a crescent moon was used. Hostorically the crescent moon represents the Roman moon god "Sin" while the stars have been used to represent "Venus" the Roman goddess of love. Of course since then the crescent moon and star symbol has been co-opted by Islam and the Ottoman Empire in particular which stretched up to the border of the Russian Empire in the Caucus region where Sochi is located. Therefore the use of the crescent moon and stars could also have been interpreted as a reference to the security threat to the games from Islamists in the Caucuses or the medieval Islamic nation known as the Fertile Crescent which is roughly made up of Lebanon and Palestine and borders the Levant which the Syrian insurgents are desperately trying to create in order to bring about the end of the world.
It was as this sequence was drawing to a close and Russian President Vladimir Putin along with other VIP guests were preparing to take their seats that the ceremony lurched firmly into existential ink-blot territory. By this point the 'stars' had turned into 'snowflakes' to represent those infamous Siberian winters and, well, the winter Olympics. The 'snowflakes' were brought together in the centre of the stage and began opening like flowers to become the Olympic rings. The problem was that the final snowflake failed to open out into an Olympic ring.
At a games where the facilities have been plagued by poor workmanship and low standards this could have been a genuine technical failure. Alternatively it could have been a deliberate act of sabotage by the production staff to embarrass Putin. Many in the gay rights community were quick to suggest that the rings refusal to 'come out' was a protest against Russia's anti-gay propaganda laws and you can certainly get a million and one smutty gay jokes out of the spectacle of a ring failing to open.
Furthermore although all the rings were white the specific ring that failed to open was the red ring so its failure to appear could have been a reference to the Communist red that had been noticeably absent from history of Russia so far in the ceremony. Also there is a popular misconception that the five Olympic rings represent the five continents with the red ring representing north America. Therefore the failure of the ring could have been a specific slight to the US or a comment on the US' boycotting of the 1980 Moscow Olympics and debate about whether the US would boycott the Sochi Olympics.
Finally if you caught it at the right angle the unopened ring looked like the fuse of a cartoon bomb that the green ring had been turned into. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu used a drawing of a cartoon bomb to discuss Russian ally Iran's nuclear program at the 2012 United Nations General Assembly (UNGA) so the ring failure could have been a reference to that or a joke about the terrorist threat to the Sochi games. After all Russians do have an absolutely wicked sense of humour.
Following the ring failure Putin and other VIP's took their seats and there was the traditional singing of the anthems of the host nation and the Olympic movement and the raising of the flags. While the Russian national flag was being raised skaters dressed in red, white and blue formed a giant Russia flag on the stage and even managed to give the effect of it waving in the breeze by skating forwards and backwards in formation. Appreciating how difficult that was I thought this was rather cool.
Following the raising of the flags the ceremony moved straight onto the parade of nations which saw the athletes enter the area. This involved the floor of the arena opening up to reveal a submerged ramp in its centre which the athletes emerged from. Again this is technically quite a difficult to achieve. As the nations were emerging lights were used to project an image of each nation onto the floor so each team actually emerged from the nation they were from although this lost a lot of its impact when it came to the landlocked nations. The only real controversy of the parade came from an Austrian athlete who slipped and fell flat on his face. Now this could have just been an accident but the floor wasn't that slippery and no-one else fell so a lot of people suspect that Austria did something embarrassing on purpose as a response to Russia's perceived embarrassment at the Olympic ring failing to open.
Obviously there is a lot more for me to do but I think we need to consider this a work in progress mainly because I still really hungover.
17:15 on 8/2/14 (UK date).
Edited at around 20:05 on 8/2/14 (UK date) to add;
Following the parade of nations the opening ceremony went into a very long second act in which Lubov travelled through the history of Russia from medieval times up to the present day. Helpfully it began with a short video explaining all this. Quite a few people will have noticed the the medieval Russia depicted in the video closely resembled the visual style of the TV show "Game of Thrones." This was a deliberate response to a tendency in the west - particularly in the UK - to portray Russia and former Soviet states as deeply impoverished backwaters where everybody lives in mud huts and travel around by horse and cart. Therefore rather then stealing from Game of Thrones the opening ceremony was using it as a cultural reference point to highlight how inaccurate this portrayal of modern Russia is.
Once the video had ended what I am now terming airborne sky furniture in the shape of a Russian Troika of horses appeared pulling the sun. The sun was represented by a large red ring just like the large red Olympic ring that had failed to appear in the previous act. This was intended to suggest that perhaps it wasn't a genuine technical fault that prevented the red Olympic ring from appearing. A Troika of horses is a very famous icon of Tsarist Russia which is hugely fast with the three horses acting in unison to pull a carriage at speeds of up to 50mph (80kmph). As such it has become a symbol of Russian strength and power with the significance spreading far beyond Russia. For example the combined efforts of the European Union (EU), the European Central Bank (ECB) and the International Monetary Fund (IMF) to bailout Eurozone economies are frequently referred to as "The Troika" no doubt much to the Russians amusement. Troika is the Russian word for Threesome so by including it in the opening ceremony Russia appeared to be mocking it's own anti-gay propaganda laws because surely discussing this great traditional Russian icon couldn't possibly be interpreted as promoting a type of non-traditional sexual relationship now could it?
Following the sun onto the stage came a number of colourful, onion domed buildings in the style of the Kremlin. Surrounded by what were later revealed to be dancers and acrobats these buildings arrived on stage in the shape of a fish. This was a reference to the Fisht arena in which the opening ceremony was taking place. Obviously in English Fisht sounds a lot like Fish but the arena is actually named after the nearby Fischt mountain whose name means something like snow covered or snow domed. Eventually the fish broke apart and revealed a traditional Russia medieval village in order to point out that while Europeans were running around playing Game of Thrones and the US hadn't even been invented the Russians were doing things like building Saint Basil's Cathedral - that colourful, onion domed building that is often mistaken for the Kremlin.
Playing a key role in the medieval carnival were Cossack dancers. Apart from all the Soviet-era things Cossack dancers with their fur hats, waistcoats, flowing trousers and knee-high boots are probably one of the most widely recognised symbols of Russia. However their history is particularly significant to Sochi. Cossacks are sort of a tribe of warriors and their traditional homeland is the area in and around Sochi. Under the Russian Empire the Cossacks were given special status by the Tsars to protect Russia from attack by the Ottoman Empire in the Black Sea region and Sochi was initially settled as a Cossack fortress. Used by the Tsar to fight the revolutionaries Cossacks dramatically fell out of favour in the Communist-era but were re-formed specifically to help protect the Olympics from terrorist attack.
The medieval sequence was swept away by the reign of Peter the Great and the Russian Empire. Peter the Great built the Russian Empire by turning Russia into a great sea-faring nation massively building up its navy particularly on the Baltic and Black Seas. Although this is just the story of how a massively important era of Russian history happened the importance of warm water ports to Peter the Great's navy has some resonance to the conflict in Syria where certain nations have falsely claimed that Russia is only supporting the Syrian government in order to hold onto it's warm water port at Tartus. Also Russia's shortage of warm water sea ports touches on its strategy of speeding up global warming in order to open up arctic shipping routes which Russia indicated it is now abandoning at 2013's COP19/CMP9 Summit. Finally all this talk of sailing ships and navies puts us dangerously into Rihanna territory because while her 2013 tour caused everyone a lot of headaches Russia was hit twice in both the European and South-East Asian legs.
Having established how the Russian Empire had been built the opening ceremony set out to tell the story of Tsarist Russia through a very shortened ballet performance of famous Russian author Leo Tolstoy's epic novel War and Peace. War and Peace of course tells the story of five aristocratic Russian families over the period of about 8 years during which Russia was invaded by Napoleonic France. Ballet is something that Russia is very famous for, is very good at and takes incredibly seriously so therefore wants to show off. As such I think the ballet dancers were supposed to represent the Saint Petersburg Ballet Academy that Peter the Great founded. However in actual fact I think they were from the Bolshoi Ballet which is Russia's premier ballet school. The Bolshoi Ballet recently had a little bit of trouble when its artistic director had his face burned off with acid in what seemed like a Russian hint to the US that they're weren't being fooled by the Chris Brown element of the Rihanna operation. Therefore their inclusion seemed to be another reminder to the US that there is nothing that Rihanna or any other member of the Live Nation family can do that will even remotely trouble a graduate of the Bolshoi Ballet.
Taking a bit of a historical liberty the ballet dancers ended their performance by sort of clumping together and collectively swaying as if being blown around by violent ill-winds. This was supposed to symbolise the unrest that gripped Russia at the end on the Napoleonic-era and eventually led to the 1917 Communist revolution.
Edited at around 13:05 on 9/2/14 (UK date) to add;
Inevitably the fall of the Tsars had to be followed by the rise of Communist Russia. However rather then relying on the traditional imagery of Lenin nobly freeing the workers from their shackles the opening ceremony instead decided to concentrate of the era of Stalin in order to provide a rather negative portrayal of Communism. As a result there was a lot of stark industrial imagery including one piece of stage furniture that resembled the warhead of a nuclear missile. The use of black lighting and smoke effects led to the famous Communist red to resemble the fiery cauldrons of hell. In fact the way that the Communist-era was pulled in on the back of a steam locomotive was supposed to provide a direct contrast to the way the medieval-era was pulled in on the back of a Troika of horses. Under the Tsars Russian mail was moved around and delivered by Troikas of horses until they were replaced by the steam train during the industrial revolution which occurred at roughly the same time as the Communist revolution. I think we can all agree that three handsome horses pulling an ornate carriage bedecked in musical bells is far more beautiful then a dirty, clanking steam train.
Although it's hard to compare them directly to any real world object the stage furniture during this sequence resembled the machinery used in heavy industry such as the cogs of giant machines or the threshing machines and tractors used in large-scale farming. This was all a reference to the centralised socialist economy that was set up by Joseph Stalin through the introduction of the first five year plan. This saw the government take control of all aspects of industry and farming ordering millions of workers away from their homes to go work in far off farms and forced labour camps (Gulags). It was also a complete disaster that led to famines in which millions died. In response to criticism of his failed policy Stalin launched the Great Purge in 1934 which saw political opponents being executed at the rate of around 1000 per day and left around 11 million dead in total.
There was then a short sequence covering World War Two. Soviet Russia's role in World War was immense and decisive against Nazi Germany but it was achieved largely through the extreme brutality of Stalin. For example a popular tactic of Stalin's Red Army was to assemble regiments of political dissidents and undesirables (Jews, Gypsies etc) whose job it was to march into enemy mine-fields in order to clear the way for Russian tanks. Also the Soviet victory in World War Two led to the formation of the Soviet Bloc and the start of the Cold War. Therefore the opening ceremony did rather play down Russia's role in the Second World War because while they are proud of the sacrifices their people made it is not a period of history they want to repeat. Finally the part of Russia's involvement in the Second World War that everybody is most familiar with is the decisive Battle of Stalingrad. Having now reverted to its original name of Volgograd this has been something of a touchy subject in the run-up to the games.
With the Second World War out of the way the ceremony moved into a sequence covering what was supposedly the golden age of Russian Communism that covered the Cold War up until the 1990's. Here happy and brightly coloured people were shown joyously dancing in the streets while iconic cars of the era such as the Moskvich of the workers, the Cahika of the Party bigwigs and the Zim of the KGB drove around the arena. During this sequence everybody was so happy, smiley and enthusiastic that it had to be sarcasm because this referred to a period of Russian history where the Communist Party was constantly drumming into the population that the Soviet Union was the greatest nation that had ever existed. Although unofficial record keeping was very scarce the majority of ordinary Russians simply did not believe this. The images of newspapers that were projected onto the stage represented the state-run media that pumped out this constant Communist propaganda. Chief amongst these was the "Pravda" newspaper that was founded by Lenin and whose name which literally translates as "Truth" quickly became a joke.
The use of newspapers being projected onto the stage and cars being driven around the arena was a reference to sequences within the London 2012 Olympic closing ceremony. Despite the fact that this Winter Olympic opening ceremony was supposed to pick up where the 2010 Vancouver closing ceremony left off the UK have been trying to muscle in on the action. Mainly this has involved trying to embarrass Russia by claiming they won't be able to put on such an impressive ceremony because they lack famous pop-stars of their own. This was Russia's way of pointing out that while it might have lacked the populist appeal of the London ceremonies intellectually and culturally this opening ceremony wiped the floor with the London ceremonies leaving the UK's efforts looking cheap and tacky by comparison.
The golden age sequence peaked with a mass wedding of heterosexual characters. This was very reminiscent of the mass weddings the South Korean Unification Church (the Moonies) used to hold in order to combat the atheist threat of Communist North Korea. This gently pointed out that both sides went a little bit crazy during the Cold War even if only one side is prepared to admit it now. It was also a reference to the mass wedding that took place at the 2014 Grammy awards that was an attempt to further the cause of gay rights in the US and through the inclusion of Madonna irritate Russia. The subtext of that ceremony was of course the Grammys attempting to distance themselves from attempts to force Rihanna into a relationship with Chris Brown although I believe the US is now trying to replace Brown with Drake in that operation. See my aforementioned point about the Cold War.
Following the mass wedding there was a mass birthing which saw all the newly married couples produce a happy and healthy baby. This was a direct reference to one of the root causes of homophobia within modern Russia. During the Communist-era generations of Russians had it drilled into them on a daily basis that it was their duty to get married and have lots of strong and handsome babies who would toil in the fields and lay down their lives to protect the borders of the greatest nation that had ever existed. Due to falling birthrates and, well, the chronic alcoholism the population of modern Russia is shrinking dramatically. This has led to homosexuals being scapegoated because it is extremely rare that homosexual relationships lead to unplanned pregnancies. As such many Russians do genuinely hold the belief that if homosexuals are allowed to live openly and promote their lifestyles the Russian youth will completely abandon heterosexual relationships, no Russian babies will be born and the nation will collapse. If the international community genuinely wanted to do something to improve gay rights in Russia they would attempt to use the Sochi games to challenge this flawed but widely held belief rather then just hurling cheap insults.
Although it was not mentioned directly the second act ended at the brink of the fall of the Soviet Union and we were all left to speculate what would happen to Lubov/Love in modern Russia?
This is also the point where I've reached my word limit for a single so I will continue later in a separate post.
14:25 on 9/2/14 (UK date).
Saturday, 8 February 2014
Friday, 7 February 2014
The Winter Olympics Have Begun!
The WINTER Olympics have begun! And I've decided to move onto wine.
The Winter Olympics are of course slightly different from the Summer Olympics. For example where the Summer Olympics feature sports that nobody wants to watch the Winter Olympics features sports that nobody wants to watch being played on ice, and occasionally a little bit of snow. Also the Winter Olympics take place two years apart from the Summer Olympics in a completely different nation. So while the 2004 Summer Olympics were held in Greece the 2006 Winter Olympics were held in Italy. While the 2008 Summer Olympics were held in China the 2010 Winter Olympics were held in Canada.
I only feel the need to highlight this because the UK seems to have got a bit confused and believes it is it that is handing over the Olympic legacy to Russia. As a result the UK has spent the last couple of days engaged in a series of desperate efforts to draw attention to itself.
On Thursday (6/2/14) night a major incident was declared at the Odyssey Arena in Belfast, Northern Ireland which of course draws attention to Northern Irish politics which to this day remain significantly more exciting then politics in the rest of the UK. Apparently this incident was caused by a significant number of members of the public having severely adverse reactions to alcohol. Now I'm not saying that generally Russia has a bit of a drink problem but last Tuesday one Russian did indeed wake up and discover that they were in fact not drunk. Also a fair few visitors to Sochi have popped into typical a local shop to buy a big (1.5l) plastic bottle of water for pocket change only to get it home and discover that it was in fact Gin. The reason for declaring a major incident rather then taking the patients to hospital was a reference to the way NHS cuts have forced various UK hospitals to declare major incidents in order to cope with the usual winter case-load. The NHS was of course rather a large theme of the 2012 London Olympic opening ceremony.
At around the time that this major incident was occurring in Belfast a British women fell ill and died in Bulgaria. A number of the people drinking in the same bar also fell ill with suspected alcohol poisoning. Honestly I don't know what to make of this because it could have been the UK sending someone to Bulgaria in order to kill themselves. However the incident does seem indicate the presence of illegally distilled, poisoned alcohol. The influx of counterfeit alcohol into the UK has been a growing problem since certain eastern European nations entered the European Union (EU). Obviously when Brits are talking about "eastern Europe" Poland and Russia tend to get the blame although I believe Romania and Bulgaria are now becoming larger parts of this discussion. Latvia is of course not part of Russia despite the fact that the UK's gay community did bravely decide to boycott Stolichnaya vodka in protest of the Sochi games.
Today the UK Prime Minister, David Cameron made an impassioned speech for Scotland to remain part of the UK at the Olympic velodrome in London. The UK is of course desperate to know if anyone is still interested in the Scottish independence referendum because it does have resonance to the issue of EU membership - particularly in the Basque region of Spain/France.
Later on UK Prime Minister, David Cameron made a surprise visit to the Somerset Levels in Somerset where apparently people are still surprised and angry about all the flooding they've had recently. This flooding should have course come as no surprise because with global warming melting the global ice caps where did you think all that water was going to go? The UK of course does not believe in global warming and up until the end of 2013 they thought they had a strong ally in Russia who of course do believe in global warming but were hoping it would open up more arctic shipping routes. Therefore the UK is desperate to know if it can still count on Russia as an ally. After all the Sochi Olympics have been built on marsh land that usually provides a valuable natural flood barrier. Therefore from a purely environmental perspective I have to say that the Sochi games have been more then a bit silly.
I apologise for not mentioning any of this earlier but regardless of whether it is winter or summer the Olympics tends to exist in its own little bubble. Therefore I didn't want to be the one forcing all this attention seeking onto the agenda. After all I believe under the old rules this sort of desperate publicity stunt was distinctly frowned upon.
As such I think the less said about Turkish Prime Minister Ergodan's wild claim that a Ukrainian passenger jet had been hijacked and was about to be crashed into the ongoing Winter Olympic opening ceremony 9/11-style the better. After all it serves to prove that the security threat is now so low that even third rate national leaders feel comfortable enough to have some fun with it.
21:20 on 7/2/14 (UK date).
The Winter Olympics are of course slightly different from the Summer Olympics. For example where the Summer Olympics feature sports that nobody wants to watch the Winter Olympics features sports that nobody wants to watch being played on ice, and occasionally a little bit of snow. Also the Winter Olympics take place two years apart from the Summer Olympics in a completely different nation. So while the 2004 Summer Olympics were held in Greece the 2006 Winter Olympics were held in Italy. While the 2008 Summer Olympics were held in China the 2010 Winter Olympics were held in Canada.
I only feel the need to highlight this because the UK seems to have got a bit confused and believes it is it that is handing over the Olympic legacy to Russia. As a result the UK has spent the last couple of days engaged in a series of desperate efforts to draw attention to itself.
On Thursday (6/2/14) night a major incident was declared at the Odyssey Arena in Belfast, Northern Ireland which of course draws attention to Northern Irish politics which to this day remain significantly more exciting then politics in the rest of the UK. Apparently this incident was caused by a significant number of members of the public having severely adverse reactions to alcohol. Now I'm not saying that generally Russia has a bit of a drink problem but last Tuesday one Russian did indeed wake up and discover that they were in fact not drunk. Also a fair few visitors to Sochi have popped into typical a local shop to buy a big (1.5l) plastic bottle of water for pocket change only to get it home and discover that it was in fact Gin. The reason for declaring a major incident rather then taking the patients to hospital was a reference to the way NHS cuts have forced various UK hospitals to declare major incidents in order to cope with the usual winter case-load. The NHS was of course rather a large theme of the 2012 London Olympic opening ceremony.
At around the time that this major incident was occurring in Belfast a British women fell ill and died in Bulgaria. A number of the people drinking in the same bar also fell ill with suspected alcohol poisoning. Honestly I don't know what to make of this because it could have been the UK sending someone to Bulgaria in order to kill themselves. However the incident does seem indicate the presence of illegally distilled, poisoned alcohol. The influx of counterfeit alcohol into the UK has been a growing problem since certain eastern European nations entered the European Union (EU). Obviously when Brits are talking about "eastern Europe" Poland and Russia tend to get the blame although I believe Romania and Bulgaria are now becoming larger parts of this discussion. Latvia is of course not part of Russia despite the fact that the UK's gay community did bravely decide to boycott Stolichnaya vodka in protest of the Sochi games.
Today the UK Prime Minister, David Cameron made an impassioned speech for Scotland to remain part of the UK at the Olympic velodrome in London. The UK is of course desperate to know if anyone is still interested in the Scottish independence referendum because it does have resonance to the issue of EU membership - particularly in the Basque region of Spain/France.
Later on UK Prime Minister, David Cameron made a surprise visit to the Somerset Levels in Somerset where apparently people are still surprised and angry about all the flooding they've had recently. This flooding should have course come as no surprise because with global warming melting the global ice caps where did you think all that water was going to go? The UK of course does not believe in global warming and up until the end of 2013 they thought they had a strong ally in Russia who of course do believe in global warming but were hoping it would open up more arctic shipping routes. Therefore the UK is desperate to know if it can still count on Russia as an ally. After all the Sochi Olympics have been built on marsh land that usually provides a valuable natural flood barrier. Therefore from a purely environmental perspective I have to say that the Sochi games have been more then a bit silly.
I apologise for not mentioning any of this earlier but regardless of whether it is winter or summer the Olympics tends to exist in its own little bubble. Therefore I didn't want to be the one forcing all this attention seeking onto the agenda. After all I believe under the old rules this sort of desperate publicity stunt was distinctly frowned upon.
As such I think the less said about Turkish Prime Minister Ergodan's wild claim that a Ukrainian passenger jet had been hijacked and was about to be crashed into the ongoing Winter Olympic opening ceremony 9/11-style the better. After all it serves to prove that the security threat is now so low that even third rate national leaders feel comfortable enough to have some fun with it.
21:20 on 7/2/14 (UK date).
Thursday, 6 February 2014
Sochi Problems.
Although the official opening ceremony doesn't take place until tomorrow (7/2/14) the 2014 Winter Olympics opened today in Sochi, Russia. As always hosting an Olympics gives a nation an opportunity to showcase itself on the world stage. This is particularly important for the Russians who want to exercise the demons of the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow that were controversially boycotted by the United States. The Sochi games are also important personally for Vladimir Putin who as overseen them first as President then as Prime Minister and now as President again. Apart from showcasing Russia on the world stage Putin is also keen to use the games domestically to demonstrate the success of his "Strong Russia" policies which have allowed him to stay in power for so long.
The first threat to the success of the Sochi games has been Russia's controversial anti-gay propaganda law. As I've said before I personally think that the passing of this law in time for the Winter Olympics was an attempt to do something positive for gay rights in Russia by giving the world the opportunity to constructively demonstrate just how ridiculous this type of law is. For example the official slogan of the games; "Sochi: Hot. Cool. Yours." actually sounds a little bit gay and playful enough to give the impression that visitors who are gay enough to get the joke will be more then welcome in what is effectively Russia's gay capital. However partly as an excuse to criticise Russia over Syria and partly due to the world's gay community being a little bit hysterical and reactionary this largely seems to have been an opportunity missed. It does though give Putin the opportunity to endear himself to a largely homophobic electorate by being seen to stand up to the gays who - by the looks of things - must all be crazy. Unfortunately though for the Russian hosts it does mean that there are now an awful of people now queueing up to find fault with the way these Olympics are being run.
It has to be said though that the Russian hosts haven't done themselves any favours by providing these critics with plenty of ammunition. The main problem is that the facilities for guests are simply not up to scratch with the hotels for the visiting media simply not being finished in time. As a result roughly one third of the hotel rooms that had been set aside for visiting media are simply not available leaving many journalists with nowhere to rest their heads. For example US broadcaster CNN apparently booked 11 rooms and arrived to discover that only one room was available. Others have told stories of being told their booked room was not available and being offered alternatives that were either dirty or already occupied by the stray dogs that are roaming the Olympic village.
Although generally visiting journalists whose job it is to tell the world what is going on at the games are the last people you want to annoy the accommodation for the athletes seems to have fared much better with all the rooms at least being habitable. However as with the journalists accommodation the quality of the workmanship is apparently very poor. That means there are toilets that cannot handle toilet paper and are placed together without dividing cubicles, urinals that don't appear to be plumbed into anything and radiators that have been placed at ceiling height meaning they're useless at heating the room below. Working light bulbs, shower curtains and curtain rails are apparently becoming a highly valued commodity to be traded amongst guests and the most popular souvenir of the games looks likely to become hotel door handles to come off in the guests hands.
Obviously these facilities problems would not be acceptable at any Olympic games but seem almost impossible to justify at Sochi. That is because the Russians have had the best part of 7 years to prepare for the games and have spent in excess of USD51billion getting ready. This makes the Sochi Olympics the most most expensive Olympic games ever staged. The main reason why this great expense has not yielded results is the epic corruption that has plagued almost every aspect of Russian life since the fall of the Soviet Union. Basically the same group of rich cronies get awarded fat public contracts regardless of whether they have any ability to do the job. Even those who are remotely capable of doing the job they're tasked with instead put most of the money straight into their pockets leaving only the barest minimum to actually carry out the work. As a result a lot of the workers building the Olympic facilities haven't been paid what they were promised or haven't been paid anything at all and are putting in the quality of workmanship that sort of treatment deserves. Also there has been a chronic shortage of materials and equipment so the main decorative feature of many of the buildings is pencil marks on the wall where workers were going to install something but the part simply didn't turn up.
I actually think that part of the 'Olympic Ideal' that saw these games awarded to Russia was to highlight its problems with corruption in order to help Russia overcome those problems. Unfortunately the small group of very rich cronies who do very well out of this sort of corruption have been very resistant to change and the situation in Syria has meant that this is already on course for being a very bad tempered games with certain visiting nations intent on making life difficult for the Russians rather then offering them advice has meant that little progress has been made. Already this week the US supported by the UK have been trying to confuse the issue of corruption in the awarding of government contracts with the corruption in Russia's legal system.
So on Monday (3/2/14) our old friend Chris Brown once again appeared before Judge Brandlin Gluber in a Los Angeles Courtroom. Once again Brandlin failed to see how Brown's continued series of temper tantrums, assaults and damage to property means he presents a threat to public safety and should be jailed and instead decided to take no action whatsoever. Obviously we're still meant to believe that it is Brown's wealth and fame rather then more government sponsored protections that are keeping him out of prison so yesterday (5/2/14) a Texas Court sent rich teenager Ethan Couch to a rehab facility for treatment for 'affluenza' rather then prison for killing four people and seriously injuring two whilst driving drunk. Today the UK followed that up with the acquittal of William Roache over child sex offences. Just before Rihanna's trips to Australia and New Zealand Roache - a star of popular soap opera "Coronation Street" - gave a bizarre TV interview in which he basically argued that it is right and just for adults to sexually abuse children. Therefore the conclusion we're all supposed to reach is that Roache is in fact guilty but his fame and expensive legal team meant that the Jury decided to acquit him because he plays such a nice man on television. These sort of issues - especially wealth - have an obvious resonance within Russia opaque legal system but little to do with the awarding of government contracts.
One area where Russia's preparations for the Olympics appear to have been excellent has been in security. Unlike previous Olympics the Sochi games have come under a very real threat of large scale terrorist attack backed by Saudi Arabia - a very wealthy nation state. Rather then sending in special forces teams what Saudi Arabia appear to have done is follow the Al Qaeda model of identifying local groups who are already motivated to carry out an attack and then boost their capabilities through funding, training and the supply of equipment. Once these local groups have been selected they are often then sorted with the most capable group receiving the most support while the least capable only receiving limited support acting as sort of understudies. Following the Volgograd bombings the Russian security forces appear to have been very effective in identifying and eliminating the understudy groups. In the past week and probably with a bit of help from everybody in the international community the Russians also appear to have identified and seriously disrupted the prime group that was responsible for the Volgograd bombings.
As a result the threat of a terror attack at the games has dropped dramatically to the point where everybody now seems comfortable to have a bit of fun with. For example I'd be very interested to know if yesterday's warning from about explosives disguised as toothpaste came before or after the US team started having problems getting hold of some special yogurt they'd requested.
17:15 on 6/2/14 (UK date).
The first threat to the success of the Sochi games has been Russia's controversial anti-gay propaganda law. As I've said before I personally think that the passing of this law in time for the Winter Olympics was an attempt to do something positive for gay rights in Russia by giving the world the opportunity to constructively demonstrate just how ridiculous this type of law is. For example the official slogan of the games; "Sochi: Hot. Cool. Yours." actually sounds a little bit gay and playful enough to give the impression that visitors who are gay enough to get the joke will be more then welcome in what is effectively Russia's gay capital. However partly as an excuse to criticise Russia over Syria and partly due to the world's gay community being a little bit hysterical and reactionary this largely seems to have been an opportunity missed. It does though give Putin the opportunity to endear himself to a largely homophobic electorate by being seen to stand up to the gays who - by the looks of things - must all be crazy. Unfortunately though for the Russian hosts it does mean that there are now an awful of people now queueing up to find fault with the way these Olympics are being run.
It has to be said though that the Russian hosts haven't done themselves any favours by providing these critics with plenty of ammunition. The main problem is that the facilities for guests are simply not up to scratch with the hotels for the visiting media simply not being finished in time. As a result roughly one third of the hotel rooms that had been set aside for visiting media are simply not available leaving many journalists with nowhere to rest their heads. For example US broadcaster CNN apparently booked 11 rooms and arrived to discover that only one room was available. Others have told stories of being told their booked room was not available and being offered alternatives that were either dirty or already occupied by the stray dogs that are roaming the Olympic village.
Although generally visiting journalists whose job it is to tell the world what is going on at the games are the last people you want to annoy the accommodation for the athletes seems to have fared much better with all the rooms at least being habitable. However as with the journalists accommodation the quality of the workmanship is apparently very poor. That means there are toilets that cannot handle toilet paper and are placed together without dividing cubicles, urinals that don't appear to be plumbed into anything and radiators that have been placed at ceiling height meaning they're useless at heating the room below. Working light bulbs, shower curtains and curtain rails are apparently becoming a highly valued commodity to be traded amongst guests and the most popular souvenir of the games looks likely to become hotel door handles to come off in the guests hands.
Obviously these facilities problems would not be acceptable at any Olympic games but seem almost impossible to justify at Sochi. That is because the Russians have had the best part of 7 years to prepare for the games and have spent in excess of USD51billion getting ready. This makes the Sochi Olympics the most most expensive Olympic games ever staged. The main reason why this great expense has not yielded results is the epic corruption that has plagued almost every aspect of Russian life since the fall of the Soviet Union. Basically the same group of rich cronies get awarded fat public contracts regardless of whether they have any ability to do the job. Even those who are remotely capable of doing the job they're tasked with instead put most of the money straight into their pockets leaving only the barest minimum to actually carry out the work. As a result a lot of the workers building the Olympic facilities haven't been paid what they were promised or haven't been paid anything at all and are putting in the quality of workmanship that sort of treatment deserves. Also there has been a chronic shortage of materials and equipment so the main decorative feature of many of the buildings is pencil marks on the wall where workers were going to install something but the part simply didn't turn up.
I actually think that part of the 'Olympic Ideal' that saw these games awarded to Russia was to highlight its problems with corruption in order to help Russia overcome those problems. Unfortunately the small group of very rich cronies who do very well out of this sort of corruption have been very resistant to change and the situation in Syria has meant that this is already on course for being a very bad tempered games with certain visiting nations intent on making life difficult for the Russians rather then offering them advice has meant that little progress has been made. Already this week the US supported by the UK have been trying to confuse the issue of corruption in the awarding of government contracts with the corruption in Russia's legal system.
So on Monday (3/2/14) our old friend Chris Brown once again appeared before Judge Brandlin Gluber in a Los Angeles Courtroom. Once again Brandlin failed to see how Brown's continued series of temper tantrums, assaults and damage to property means he presents a threat to public safety and should be jailed and instead decided to take no action whatsoever. Obviously we're still meant to believe that it is Brown's wealth and fame rather then more government sponsored protections that are keeping him out of prison so yesterday (5/2/14) a Texas Court sent rich teenager Ethan Couch to a rehab facility for treatment for 'affluenza' rather then prison for killing four people and seriously injuring two whilst driving drunk. Today the UK followed that up with the acquittal of William Roache over child sex offences. Just before Rihanna's trips to Australia and New Zealand Roache - a star of popular soap opera "Coronation Street" - gave a bizarre TV interview in which he basically argued that it is right and just for adults to sexually abuse children. Therefore the conclusion we're all supposed to reach is that Roache is in fact guilty but his fame and expensive legal team meant that the Jury decided to acquit him because he plays such a nice man on television. These sort of issues - especially wealth - have an obvious resonance within Russia opaque legal system but little to do with the awarding of government contracts.
One area where Russia's preparations for the Olympics appear to have been excellent has been in security. Unlike previous Olympics the Sochi games have come under a very real threat of large scale terrorist attack backed by Saudi Arabia - a very wealthy nation state. Rather then sending in special forces teams what Saudi Arabia appear to have done is follow the Al Qaeda model of identifying local groups who are already motivated to carry out an attack and then boost their capabilities through funding, training and the supply of equipment. Once these local groups have been selected they are often then sorted with the most capable group receiving the most support while the least capable only receiving limited support acting as sort of understudies. Following the Volgograd bombings the Russian security forces appear to have been very effective in identifying and eliminating the understudy groups. In the past week and probably with a bit of help from everybody in the international community the Russians also appear to have identified and seriously disrupted the prime group that was responsible for the Volgograd bombings.
As a result the threat of a terror attack at the games has dropped dramatically to the point where everybody now seems comfortable to have a bit of fun with. For example I'd be very interested to know if yesterday's warning from about explosives disguised as toothpaste came before or after the US team started having problems getting hold of some special yogurt they'd requested.
17:15 on 6/2/14 (UK date).
Yeah My Body Hates Me.
It is remarkably consistent though.
You may remember that in the run up to the 2012 Summer Olympics and for a little bit during I was suffering a lot of pain in my left big toe/foot. This led to some discussion about whether this was just standard soft-tissue (tendons, ligaments, muscles etc) damage or gout which is a form of arthritis. Well as we approach the start of the 2014 Winter Olympics I am now experiencing a lot of pain in my right big toe. This time around though it most certainly is gout.
When I twisted my right ankle recently I basically damaged all the soft-tissue around the joint. This forced all the other soft-tissue in my foot and leg to work much harder in order to compensate. The extensor tendon running down to my big toe was particularly affected to the point where it was this tendon rather then the ankle that was damaged when I had my little relapse at the start of last week. As part of its healing up process that tendon now seems to have dumped a load of lactic acid into the phalange joint where it is being really painful.
I suppose the upside is that it does help prove that may last Olympic toe injury was in fact soft-tissue damage because that was a sort of intermittent stabbing pain. This Olympic toe injury is very much more a constant chemical burning type pain. Needless to say whatever I had planned for today has now been firmly cancelled and I must say that I'm becoming less keen on the idea of the Olympics by the second.
13:45 on 6/2/14 (UK date).
You may remember that in the run up to the 2012 Summer Olympics and for a little bit during I was suffering a lot of pain in my left big toe/foot. This led to some discussion about whether this was just standard soft-tissue (tendons, ligaments, muscles etc) damage or gout which is a form of arthritis. Well as we approach the start of the 2014 Winter Olympics I am now experiencing a lot of pain in my right big toe. This time around though it most certainly is gout.
When I twisted my right ankle recently I basically damaged all the soft-tissue around the joint. This forced all the other soft-tissue in my foot and leg to work much harder in order to compensate. The extensor tendon running down to my big toe was particularly affected to the point where it was this tendon rather then the ankle that was damaged when I had my little relapse at the start of last week. As part of its healing up process that tendon now seems to have dumped a load of lactic acid into the phalange joint where it is being really painful.
I suppose the upside is that it does help prove that may last Olympic toe injury was in fact soft-tissue damage because that was a sort of intermittent stabbing pain. This Olympic toe injury is very much more a constant chemical burning type pain. Needless to say whatever I had planned for today has now been firmly cancelled and I must say that I'm becoming less keen on the idea of the Olympics by the second.
13:45 on 6/2/14 (UK date).
Monday, 3 February 2014
Superbowl 2014 - A Post-Mortem.
Last night and for most of this morning I stayed up until stupid o'clock in order to watch the 48th Superbowl. During this time I came to the conclusion that I will probably never learn to love American Football. The main reason for this is that as far as I can tell not very much actually happens in an American Football match. Seriously with all the time outs and the line changes it strikes me more as people sitting around talking about a sport rather then actually playing a sport. All the stoppages also mean that American Football seems to occupy this strange parallel universe where 15 minutes can last almost an entire hour.
Of course in America all these constant delays are filled with conversations amongst friends and those infamous Superbowl commercials. Here in the UK we instead got three men sitting in a spartan studio who somehow managed to talk constantly yet not in any way explain what was going on. As a result I quickly got bored and started making my own entertainment which mainly centred around finding new and inventive ways to insult American Football players. The Seattle Seahawks' Richard Sherman became a particular target because he's been in the news recently and his long hair makes him more distinctive then most. I just hope his ankle heals up faster then mine did.
As for the game itself far from being a tight contest the Seahawks utterly annihilated the Denver Broncos 43 - 8 and it was only in the late stages of the game that the Broncos managed to get on the score sheet at all. This was supposed to symbolise that the US Establishment remains very opposed to the idea of legalising the recreational use of marijuana. After all while both Denver and Seattle are in states that have legalised recreational marijuana Colorado's marijuana market is currently up and running while Washington's has yet to be launched. Therefore of the two teams the Seahawks represent the most prohibitive.
Also the Seahawks played in white uniforms which was meant to represent harder drugs because the way they lined up in white invoked the way that cocaine and sometimes heroin is racked up in lines ready to be snorted. One of the main arguments used in favour of marijuana prohibition is that legalising it will simply be the first step on a slippery slope towards legalising all recreational drugs. Finally certainly since the start of the Rihanna operation the Americans have got it into their heads that they can totally control my thoughts and behaviour through sub-conscious manipulation. The reference to cocaine was supposed to encourage me to take cocaine and in the process allow the US to show off their party trick. In the end I didn't end up taking cocaine but the Americans were certainly trying to create speculation about whether I had or not.
This theme of hard drugs following the legalisation of marijuana continued on into the half-time show. After last year this actually struck me as a bit dull because it really was just Bruno Mars standing on stage singing a few songs with his band. Bruno Mars was joined for one song by The Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Back in 2011 Bruno Mars was arrested and convicted on cocaine possession charges while The Red Hot Chilli Peppers are pretty famous for their own drug consumption. In fact one of their most famous songs "Under the Bridge" is all about their guitarists battle with heroin addiction.
Drug references aside the main theme of the half-time show was the Olympics with the stage and everybody on it bathed in gold light like the gold in the medals that Olympians aspire to. During The Red Hot Chilli Peppers appearance the colour scheme changed to snow white in order to emphasise that it was the upcoming Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia that were being referenced. Technically Russia has never hosted an Olympics before but back in 1980 the old Soviet Union hosted the Summer Olympics in Moscow. Coming at the height of the Cold War the US boycotted these games and the fact that a lot of the top athletes didn't compete rather undermined the event. As this marked the start of a period throughout the 1980's in which US President Reagan was very provocative towards the Soviet Union this still rankles in Russia who are looking towards Sochi as a way to restore pride.
With the US and Russia having a major falling out over Syria there had been talk that the US could boycott the Sochi games using the gay rights argument as an excuse. As it turns out America will be going to Sochi but President Obama has provocatively appointed three openly gay former athletes to head the delegation. The half-time show was just another provocation because the use of fireworks was reminiscent of the 2008 Olympic opening ceremony in Beijing, China. That seemed to be an attempt to remind Russia that it's not even the most powerful former Soviet Bloc nation anymore.
This renewed provocation of Russia was actually challenged by the commercial for the rather all American company Radio Shack. This featured two employees standing in a Radio Shack store when the got a phone call from the 1980's saying that it wanted its store back. The doors then opened and icons from 1980's US TV Shows and I think at least one Olympic gymnast came in to strip all the out dated products and fittings from the store. This allowed the advert to then unveil the new modern Radio Shack store that is built on an ethos of co-operation, synergy and other corporate buzzwords. I'm not sure of the running order of the commercials but I think that this one was aired just before the half-time show when they probably really wanted to slip it in just after.
I'll be back to talk about some of the other big adverts but first I've going to have dinner and then possibly a nap.
17:45 on 3/2/14 (UK date).
Edited at around 20:10 on 3/2/14 (UK date) to add;
Obviously I'm not going to comment on all the Superbowl commercials because it would take me too long to find them and watch them let alone write them up. I am though going to mention the ones that either I found interesting or that received the most attention.
The David Beckham H&M advert was interesting on technical level. There were actually two versions of the commercial with one featuring Beckham clothed and the other featuring him unclothed. Viewers got to decide which version was shown by Tweeting either the #Clothed or #Unclothed hashtag which sort of made the advert interactive. For people watching on Samsung SmartTV's though the commercial was even more interactive because if they clicked on any of the products shown they were immediately taken to the H&M website and given the option to buy them there and then. This type of interactive advertising has been touted for a number of years but I think this was the first time that it has actually been used on such a wide scale. Therefore I'd be quite interested to find out how many, if any, people took advantage of this new service.
Also along with the Volvo commerical featuring Zlatan Ibrahimovic the use of such a big soccer star seemed like gentle teasing to see if Americans might like to try their hands at a proper sport.
The Jaguar advert also caught my attention. Using the slogan "It's good to be bad" this advert focused on why British actors are always cast as the villains in American films and featured Ben Kingsley, Mark Strong and Tom Hiddleston who are all respected British actors. Shot in the style of the British James Bond films it not only featured Jaguar cars but other symbols of Britishness such as the Houses of Parliament and the new Routemaster London buses that the UK has become seriously obsessed with recently. This commercial was supported so heavily by Britain as a nation that even the UK Ambassador to the UN was promoting it on Twitter. Therefore I can't help but feel that the UK is worried about its relationship with the US especially its popularity amongst the general public.
The clear winner of the car commercials and probably all the commercials though was Kia with their advert "The Truth" for their new luxury K900 model. Featuring Laurence Fishburne reprising his role of Morpheus from the Matrix films a couple are offered a choice between the usual luxury car or the new luxury of the K900. Having chosen the K900 the couple discover that they really like it. At that point Laurence Fishburne suddenly bursts in to a rendition of Nessun Dorma from Puccini's opera Turandot which nobody was expecting.
I think that this advert was the South Korean car company having a subtle dig at the US over its Pivot Towards the Pacific policy particularly Rihanna's role in it. The plan was that we would all be captivated as Rihanna uses her music to express the emotional ups and downs of her turbulent relationship with Chris Brown. This is basically the plot of every opera ever and because most operas are over 200 years all the new productions are about finding ever more abstract ways of expressing the characters emotions. Therefore anyone with even a cursory experience of opera would have had absolutely no problem pulling the Rihanna operation to pieces. The reason why Laurence Fishburne's character in the Matrix is called Morpheus is because Morpheus is the Roman god of sleep and dreams so the South Koreans appeared to be telling the US that it found the Rihanna operation and the Superbowl in general to be rather dull.
This meant that the Kia commercial utterly destroyed Chrysler's big commerical starring Bob Dylan which was supposed to signify the resurgence of the American motor industry. The big message of that advert was that it was artistic soul and creative passion of American workers that made their cars better then all the Asian imports. The Kia advert basically went; "Well actually the creative passion and the artistic vision of the US isn't that great to begin with." The Chrysler advert was supposed to be a big secret so it was a double blow that Kia not only knew about it in advance but were able to produce a more inventive response.
Finally there was the Scarlett Johanssen SodaStream commercial which I've already discussed at great length. However having actually watched the commercial it is clear that Scarlett Johanssen knew exactly what she was doing. Taking a very sarcastic tone the commerical begins with Johanssen claiming that as a celebrity it is her job to save the world before wondering how she can make her message go viral before signing off with the phrase; "Take that Coke and Pepsi!" Therefore this advert was very much Israel expressing its immense displeasure over the US' meddling in the Israel/Palestine peace process, Syria and the Rihanna operation that saw the US be utterly subservient to the Gulf Monarchies.
Of course in America all these constant delays are filled with conversations amongst friends and those infamous Superbowl commercials. Here in the UK we instead got three men sitting in a spartan studio who somehow managed to talk constantly yet not in any way explain what was going on. As a result I quickly got bored and started making my own entertainment which mainly centred around finding new and inventive ways to insult American Football players. The Seattle Seahawks' Richard Sherman became a particular target because he's been in the news recently and his long hair makes him more distinctive then most. I just hope his ankle heals up faster then mine did.
As for the game itself far from being a tight contest the Seahawks utterly annihilated the Denver Broncos 43 - 8 and it was only in the late stages of the game that the Broncos managed to get on the score sheet at all. This was supposed to symbolise that the US Establishment remains very opposed to the idea of legalising the recreational use of marijuana. After all while both Denver and Seattle are in states that have legalised recreational marijuana Colorado's marijuana market is currently up and running while Washington's has yet to be launched. Therefore of the two teams the Seahawks represent the most prohibitive.
Also the Seahawks played in white uniforms which was meant to represent harder drugs because the way they lined up in white invoked the way that cocaine and sometimes heroin is racked up in lines ready to be snorted. One of the main arguments used in favour of marijuana prohibition is that legalising it will simply be the first step on a slippery slope towards legalising all recreational drugs. Finally certainly since the start of the Rihanna operation the Americans have got it into their heads that they can totally control my thoughts and behaviour through sub-conscious manipulation. The reference to cocaine was supposed to encourage me to take cocaine and in the process allow the US to show off their party trick. In the end I didn't end up taking cocaine but the Americans were certainly trying to create speculation about whether I had or not.
This theme of hard drugs following the legalisation of marijuana continued on into the half-time show. After last year this actually struck me as a bit dull because it really was just Bruno Mars standing on stage singing a few songs with his band. Bruno Mars was joined for one song by The Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Back in 2011 Bruno Mars was arrested and convicted on cocaine possession charges while The Red Hot Chilli Peppers are pretty famous for their own drug consumption. In fact one of their most famous songs "Under the Bridge" is all about their guitarists battle with heroin addiction.
Drug references aside the main theme of the half-time show was the Olympics with the stage and everybody on it bathed in gold light like the gold in the medals that Olympians aspire to. During The Red Hot Chilli Peppers appearance the colour scheme changed to snow white in order to emphasise that it was the upcoming Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia that were being referenced. Technically Russia has never hosted an Olympics before but back in 1980 the old Soviet Union hosted the Summer Olympics in Moscow. Coming at the height of the Cold War the US boycotted these games and the fact that a lot of the top athletes didn't compete rather undermined the event. As this marked the start of a period throughout the 1980's in which US President Reagan was very provocative towards the Soviet Union this still rankles in Russia who are looking towards Sochi as a way to restore pride.
With the US and Russia having a major falling out over Syria there had been talk that the US could boycott the Sochi games using the gay rights argument as an excuse. As it turns out America will be going to Sochi but President Obama has provocatively appointed three openly gay former athletes to head the delegation. The half-time show was just another provocation because the use of fireworks was reminiscent of the 2008 Olympic opening ceremony in Beijing, China. That seemed to be an attempt to remind Russia that it's not even the most powerful former Soviet Bloc nation anymore.
This renewed provocation of Russia was actually challenged by the commercial for the rather all American company Radio Shack. This featured two employees standing in a Radio Shack store when the got a phone call from the 1980's saying that it wanted its store back. The doors then opened and icons from 1980's US TV Shows and I think at least one Olympic gymnast came in to strip all the out dated products and fittings from the store. This allowed the advert to then unveil the new modern Radio Shack store that is built on an ethos of co-operation, synergy and other corporate buzzwords. I'm not sure of the running order of the commercials but I think that this one was aired just before the half-time show when they probably really wanted to slip it in just after.
I'll be back to talk about some of the other big adverts but first I've going to have dinner and then possibly a nap.
17:45 on 3/2/14 (UK date).
Edited at around 20:10 on 3/2/14 (UK date) to add;
Obviously I'm not going to comment on all the Superbowl commercials because it would take me too long to find them and watch them let alone write them up. I am though going to mention the ones that either I found interesting or that received the most attention.
The David Beckham H&M advert was interesting on technical level. There were actually two versions of the commercial with one featuring Beckham clothed and the other featuring him unclothed. Viewers got to decide which version was shown by Tweeting either the #Clothed or #Unclothed hashtag which sort of made the advert interactive. For people watching on Samsung SmartTV's though the commercial was even more interactive because if they clicked on any of the products shown they were immediately taken to the H&M website and given the option to buy them there and then. This type of interactive advertising has been touted for a number of years but I think this was the first time that it has actually been used on such a wide scale. Therefore I'd be quite interested to find out how many, if any, people took advantage of this new service.
Also along with the Volvo commerical featuring Zlatan Ibrahimovic the use of such a big soccer star seemed like gentle teasing to see if Americans might like to try their hands at a proper sport.
The Jaguar advert also caught my attention. Using the slogan "It's good to be bad" this advert focused on why British actors are always cast as the villains in American films and featured Ben Kingsley, Mark Strong and Tom Hiddleston who are all respected British actors. Shot in the style of the British James Bond films it not only featured Jaguar cars but other symbols of Britishness such as the Houses of Parliament and the new Routemaster London buses that the UK has become seriously obsessed with recently. This commercial was supported so heavily by Britain as a nation that even the UK Ambassador to the UN was promoting it on Twitter. Therefore I can't help but feel that the UK is worried about its relationship with the US especially its popularity amongst the general public.
The clear winner of the car commercials and probably all the commercials though was Kia with their advert "The Truth" for their new luxury K900 model. Featuring Laurence Fishburne reprising his role of Morpheus from the Matrix films a couple are offered a choice between the usual luxury car or the new luxury of the K900. Having chosen the K900 the couple discover that they really like it. At that point Laurence Fishburne suddenly bursts in to a rendition of Nessun Dorma from Puccini's opera Turandot which nobody was expecting.
I think that this advert was the South Korean car company having a subtle dig at the US over its Pivot Towards the Pacific policy particularly Rihanna's role in it. The plan was that we would all be captivated as Rihanna uses her music to express the emotional ups and downs of her turbulent relationship with Chris Brown. This is basically the plot of every opera ever and because most operas are over 200 years all the new productions are about finding ever more abstract ways of expressing the characters emotions. Therefore anyone with even a cursory experience of opera would have had absolutely no problem pulling the Rihanna operation to pieces. The reason why Laurence Fishburne's character in the Matrix is called Morpheus is because Morpheus is the Roman god of sleep and dreams so the South Koreans appeared to be telling the US that it found the Rihanna operation and the Superbowl in general to be rather dull.
This meant that the Kia commercial utterly destroyed Chrysler's big commerical starring Bob Dylan which was supposed to signify the resurgence of the American motor industry. The big message of that advert was that it was artistic soul and creative passion of American workers that made their cars better then all the Asian imports. The Kia advert basically went; "Well actually the creative passion and the artistic vision of the US isn't that great to begin with." The Chrysler advert was supposed to be a big secret so it was a double blow that Kia not only knew about it in advance but were able to produce a more inventive response.
Finally there was the Scarlett Johanssen SodaStream commercial which I've already discussed at great length. However having actually watched the commercial it is clear that Scarlett Johanssen knew exactly what she was doing. Taking a very sarcastic tone the commerical begins with Johanssen claiming that as a celebrity it is her job to save the world before wondering how she can make her message go viral before signing off with the phrase; "Take that Coke and Pepsi!" Therefore this advert was very much Israel expressing its immense displeasure over the US' meddling in the Israel/Palestine peace process, Syria and the Rihanna operation that saw the US be utterly subservient to the Gulf Monarchies.
Sunday, 2 February 2014
Yeah This Bowl's All About the Weed.
Sub-titled: Sorry for the delay.
Tonight the champions of the American Football League (AFL) will take on the champions of the National Football Conference (NFC) in 48th Superbowl. As with the outcome this will mean very little to the majority of the viewers because even in America this is the only American Football game that most people will watch all year. Instead people use the Superbowl as an excuse to gather together to drink too much, eat too much and gossip about things like the Puppybowl, the commercials and the half-time show. This makes it a perfect opportunity to get Americans talking amongst themselves about the important issues of the day. Last year it was all about America's attitudes towards race (Baltimore Ravens) versus America's attitudes towards homosexuality (San Francisco 49's).
This year the Denver Broncos from the state of Colorado which legalised the recreational use of marijuana at the 2012 Presidential election will take on the Seattle Seahawks from the state of Washington which also legalised the recreational use of marijuana at the 2012 Presidential election. Therefore I think there is really only one issue up for discussion at this year's Superbowl.
The fact that it sees probably the most attacking team take on probably the most defencive team means that it is likely to be a low scoring game with a lot of the points being awarded for highly technical reasons that no-one really understands. This will highlight the technical differences between the way that Colorado has legalised recreational use versus the way Washington has. For example Colorado's marijuana market has been up and running since January 1st 2014 (1/1/14) whilst Washington has delayed setting up its market so its network of medical marijuana dispensaries can be brought up to standard before being turned into Colorado style marijuana stores.
Also the fact that it will be a tight game means that there is no clear favourite amongst book-makers leading to lots of discussion in gambling circles about where people should put their money. This highlights one the main problems that both Colorado and Washington have faced in setting up their marijuana markets. Although the sale and use of recreational marijuana is legal under both their state laws it is still very much illegal under federal law. That means that banks which operate nationally under federal law simply won't go near either Colorado or Washington's marijuana merchants for fear of being prosecuted under laws set up to prevent them laundering money from drug traffickers. As as result Colorado's legal marijuana business which is said to be worth around USD1million per day is being run as an entirely cash business. You don't need to have watched that many episodes of "The Wire" to realise that this is a recipe for violent crime if there ever was one. So if you ask me where the smart money is going this year I'd say the bank.
Having legalised the recreational use of marijuana the conversation moves onto whether the US should continue its prohibition on other, more harmful, recreational drugs such as cocaine. As such this year's half-time show will be performed by convicted cocaine possessing felon Bruno Mars. Also on Friday (31/1/14) envelopes containing suspicious white powders were sent to several hotels around the Superbowl Stadium where some people will no doubt be partaking of cocaine over the Superbowl weekend. At around the same time a package containing a much more explosive substance was discovered at an Air Force base in Alabama. Taken together these two incidents seem like an attempt to steer the American public against wider legalisation of recreational marijuana by creating the impression that it is merely the first step on a slippery slope towards the legalisation of all drugs.
I happen to think that argument is deeply flawed because it is not the first time that opponents of marijuana have used this slippery slope argument. In fact they've repeatedly argued that marijuana must remain as a Schedule I prohibited narcotic alongside cocaine and heroin because it is a gateway drug that causes people to end up using these far more harmful drugs. Of course the argument in favour of marijuana legalisation is that by removing it from the hands of criminal gangs that also sell crack cocaine and heroin by selling it in shops you break this link between marijuana users and these harder drugs reducing the risk of people becoming addicted.
Finally this year's Superbowl is being held at the MetLife Stadium in New Jersey where the Governor is the large-then-life Chris Christie. Ever since his successful handling of SuperStorm Sandy Christie has been widely tipped as a potential Republican candidate and possible President in 2016. Having the Superbowl in his backyard provides an opportunity to test him out on the national/international stage. Therefore it is no accident that all this George Washington Bridge scandal blew up when it did. After all that doesn't strike me as particularly Presidential behaviour especially if was just aides acting without the Governor's knowledge. Personally I just think that he's just grateful that long ago this had been designated as the first public transport Superbowl.
19:15 on 2/2/14 (UK date).
Tonight the champions of the American Football League (AFL) will take on the champions of the National Football Conference (NFC) in 48th Superbowl. As with the outcome this will mean very little to the majority of the viewers because even in America this is the only American Football game that most people will watch all year. Instead people use the Superbowl as an excuse to gather together to drink too much, eat too much and gossip about things like the Puppybowl, the commercials and the half-time show. This makes it a perfect opportunity to get Americans talking amongst themselves about the important issues of the day. Last year it was all about America's attitudes towards race (Baltimore Ravens) versus America's attitudes towards homosexuality (San Francisco 49's).
This year the Denver Broncos from the state of Colorado which legalised the recreational use of marijuana at the 2012 Presidential election will take on the Seattle Seahawks from the state of Washington which also legalised the recreational use of marijuana at the 2012 Presidential election. Therefore I think there is really only one issue up for discussion at this year's Superbowl.
The fact that it sees probably the most attacking team take on probably the most defencive team means that it is likely to be a low scoring game with a lot of the points being awarded for highly technical reasons that no-one really understands. This will highlight the technical differences between the way that Colorado has legalised recreational use versus the way Washington has. For example Colorado's marijuana market has been up and running since January 1st 2014 (1/1/14) whilst Washington has delayed setting up its market so its network of medical marijuana dispensaries can be brought up to standard before being turned into Colorado style marijuana stores.
Also the fact that it will be a tight game means that there is no clear favourite amongst book-makers leading to lots of discussion in gambling circles about where people should put their money. This highlights one the main problems that both Colorado and Washington have faced in setting up their marijuana markets. Although the sale and use of recreational marijuana is legal under both their state laws it is still very much illegal under federal law. That means that banks which operate nationally under federal law simply won't go near either Colorado or Washington's marijuana merchants for fear of being prosecuted under laws set up to prevent them laundering money from drug traffickers. As as result Colorado's legal marijuana business which is said to be worth around USD1million per day is being run as an entirely cash business. You don't need to have watched that many episodes of "The Wire" to realise that this is a recipe for violent crime if there ever was one. So if you ask me where the smart money is going this year I'd say the bank.
Having legalised the recreational use of marijuana the conversation moves onto whether the US should continue its prohibition on other, more harmful, recreational drugs such as cocaine. As such this year's half-time show will be performed by convicted cocaine possessing felon Bruno Mars. Also on Friday (31/1/14) envelopes containing suspicious white powders were sent to several hotels around the Superbowl Stadium where some people will no doubt be partaking of cocaine over the Superbowl weekend. At around the same time a package containing a much more explosive substance was discovered at an Air Force base in Alabama. Taken together these two incidents seem like an attempt to steer the American public against wider legalisation of recreational marijuana by creating the impression that it is merely the first step on a slippery slope towards the legalisation of all drugs.
I happen to think that argument is deeply flawed because it is not the first time that opponents of marijuana have used this slippery slope argument. In fact they've repeatedly argued that marijuana must remain as a Schedule I prohibited narcotic alongside cocaine and heroin because it is a gateway drug that causes people to end up using these far more harmful drugs. Of course the argument in favour of marijuana legalisation is that by removing it from the hands of criminal gangs that also sell crack cocaine and heroin by selling it in shops you break this link between marijuana users and these harder drugs reducing the risk of people becoming addicted.
Finally this year's Superbowl is being held at the MetLife Stadium in New Jersey where the Governor is the large-then-life Chris Christie. Ever since his successful handling of SuperStorm Sandy Christie has been widely tipped as a potential Republican candidate and possible President in 2016. Having the Superbowl in his backyard provides an opportunity to test him out on the national/international stage. Therefore it is no accident that all this George Washington Bridge scandal blew up when it did. After all that doesn't strike me as particularly Presidential behaviour especially if was just aides acting without the Governor's knowledge. Personally I just think that he's just grateful that long ago this had been designated as the first public transport Superbowl.
19:15 on 2/2/14 (UK date).
Those SodaStream Ads are Definitely Spreading.
If you're not familiar with it SodaStream is something of an odd product. You know those sodas and soft drinks you can buy from any neighbourhood store? Well Soda Stream will sell you a little machine, packets of syrup and canisters of carbon dioxide to make slightly worse versions of those same drinks in the comfort of your own home.
Obviously convincing people that they need this utterly redundant product in their lives requires an awful lot of advertising. So last year SodaStream brought very expensive advertising space in the Superbowl. In 2014 they've expanded their campaign to include sponsorship of the UK Channel 4 series "The Jump" although that seems like a mistake because nobody has been watching this apology to Big Brother that mixes elements of the reality show "Splash" with sports from the Winter Olympics. Seriously I think two of the show's celebrity participants have actually been killed but there was no-one there to notice. Therefore if anyone has been watching "The Jump" I feel the need to reassure them that the actual Winter Olympics won't be that boring.
Apart from the unfortunate sponsorship deal with Channel 4 SodaStream have again decided to run a Superbowl commercial and have gone about it in a big way hiring Hollywood movie star Scarlett Johansson. Even before the commercial has aired this has already created a storm of controversy with international development charity Oxfam encouraging Ms Johansson to stand down from her Ambassador role with them.
The reason why SodaStream is always a controversial brand is because it's main factory is located in Maale Adumin. This is a Jewish settlement on land in the West Bank that was seized from the Palestinians during the 1967 Arab-Israeli Six Day War. Settling civilians and their factories on land seized during war is a clear violation of all international law and convention on the subject. Therefore SodaStream have become a primary target for the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) campaign that targets individuals and companies that are involved in the Israeli occupation of Palestinian lands in the hope of getting Israel to behave more reasonably towards the Palestinians. However over the last year or so SodaStream has become an important symbol within the Israel/Palestine conflict for two much more specific reasons;
As his careless and reckless policies have caused the Middle East and North Africa (MENA) region to burn all the way from Libya to Afghanistan US President Obama's administration have become fixated on the Israel/Palestine peace process. It's almost as if Obama believes that by ending that conflict he can claim that he's "Brought Peace to the Middle-East" and no-one will notice that the carnage in Syria is continuing and spreading to neighbouring states like Iraq and Lebanon. In this almost Messianic quest Obama has been aided by the fact that decades of work by others means that there is now a greater desire for peace on both the Israeli and Palestinian sides then at probably any point before. For example while he is unable to admit it publicly Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is rumoured to be on the verge of removing all Jewish settlements from Palestinian territories within the next 10-15 years subject to certain land-swap deals. Fatah who've been designated to represent the Palestinians are also more then happy to see Jewish settlements removed from Palestinian territories but want to see it happen within a maximum of three years.
SodaStream also provides an interesting window on the Israel/Palestine conflict because while its location in occupied Palestine is completely illegal and unfair it actually employs a fair few Palestinians meaning that it is one of the rare occasions that Palestinians can enter Jewish settlements. Every day these Palestinians go to work alongside an almost equal number of Israeli Jews and nobody gets into any fights and nobody kills each other. That provides hope for a more utopian single state solution to the Israel/Palestine conflict in which Israeli Jews and Palestinian Arabs all live harmoniously together within a single state. Up until the early 2000's this was the solution that the Israeli hardliners favoured and often used as an excuse to avoid talking about the two state solution that is now considered the primary option. What changed these hardliners minds was that they realised that Palestinian Arabs were having far more babies then Israeli Jews meaning that if the two groups were to share a single state it would be a predominately Arab state and Israel would lose it's Jewish identity.
So I can't help but wonder if in signing up to do SodaStream's Superbowl commercial Scarlett Johansson was aware of the complicated discussion she was participating in or whether she simply saw a huge pile of cash.
13:20 on 2/2/14 (UK date).
Obviously convincing people that they need this utterly redundant product in their lives requires an awful lot of advertising. So last year SodaStream brought very expensive advertising space in the Superbowl. In 2014 they've expanded their campaign to include sponsorship of the UK Channel 4 series "The Jump" although that seems like a mistake because nobody has been watching this apology to Big Brother that mixes elements of the reality show "Splash" with sports from the Winter Olympics. Seriously I think two of the show's celebrity participants have actually been killed but there was no-one there to notice. Therefore if anyone has been watching "The Jump" I feel the need to reassure them that the actual Winter Olympics won't be that boring.
Apart from the unfortunate sponsorship deal with Channel 4 SodaStream have again decided to run a Superbowl commercial and have gone about it in a big way hiring Hollywood movie star Scarlett Johansson. Even before the commercial has aired this has already created a storm of controversy with international development charity Oxfam encouraging Ms Johansson to stand down from her Ambassador role with them.
The reason why SodaStream is always a controversial brand is because it's main factory is located in Maale Adumin. This is a Jewish settlement on land in the West Bank that was seized from the Palestinians during the 1967 Arab-Israeli Six Day War. Settling civilians and their factories on land seized during war is a clear violation of all international law and convention on the subject. Therefore SodaStream have become a primary target for the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) campaign that targets individuals and companies that are involved in the Israeli occupation of Palestinian lands in the hope of getting Israel to behave more reasonably towards the Palestinians. However over the last year or so SodaStream has become an important symbol within the Israel/Palestine conflict for two much more specific reasons;
As his careless and reckless policies have caused the Middle East and North Africa (MENA) region to burn all the way from Libya to Afghanistan US President Obama's administration have become fixated on the Israel/Palestine peace process. It's almost as if Obama believes that by ending that conflict he can claim that he's "Brought Peace to the Middle-East" and no-one will notice that the carnage in Syria is continuing and spreading to neighbouring states like Iraq and Lebanon. In this almost Messianic quest Obama has been aided by the fact that decades of work by others means that there is now a greater desire for peace on both the Israeli and Palestinian sides then at probably any point before. For example while he is unable to admit it publicly Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is rumoured to be on the verge of removing all Jewish settlements from Palestinian territories within the next 10-15 years subject to certain land-swap deals. Fatah who've been designated to represent the Palestinians are also more then happy to see Jewish settlements removed from Palestinian territories but want to see it happen within a maximum of three years.
SodaStream also provides an interesting window on the Israel/Palestine conflict because while its location in occupied Palestine is completely illegal and unfair it actually employs a fair few Palestinians meaning that it is one of the rare occasions that Palestinians can enter Jewish settlements. Every day these Palestinians go to work alongside an almost equal number of Israeli Jews and nobody gets into any fights and nobody kills each other. That provides hope for a more utopian single state solution to the Israel/Palestine conflict in which Israeli Jews and Palestinian Arabs all live harmoniously together within a single state. Up until the early 2000's this was the solution that the Israeli hardliners favoured and often used as an excuse to avoid talking about the two state solution that is now considered the primary option. What changed these hardliners minds was that they realised that Palestinian Arabs were having far more babies then Israeli Jews meaning that if the two groups were to share a single state it would be a predominately Arab state and Israel would lose it's Jewish identity.
So I can't help but wonder if in signing up to do SodaStream's Superbowl commercial Scarlett Johansson was aware of the complicated discussion she was participating in or whether she simply saw a huge pile of cash.
13:20 on 2/2/14 (UK date).
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