Operation Misery: Month 2, Week 5, Day 1.

On Sunday (5/5/13) Rihanna performed at the Barclay's Centre in Brooklyn, New York City, US. If it wasn't for the re-scheduled Boston concert today and the rescheduled Brooklyn concert on Tuesday (7/5/13) this should have been the climax of the US leg of the Diamonds World Tour. As a result the venue was packed with some of the great and the good of the celebrity world. It is a very long list including Rosie O'Donnell, various Victoria Secret models and the actor Micheal J Fox. However the two I'm most worried about were Cara Delevinge and to a lesser extent Georgia May Jagger who are both British models.

As I've explained before Cara Delevinge is essentially a British spy who was dispatched to the concert to get all the behind the scenes gossip about how Rihanna is doing order for Britain to use that information to put pressure on Rihanna as her tour progresses through Europe and Australasia. In order to make Ms Delevinge's job easier Britain made an effort to cause Rihanna extra stress by putting pressure on me as a proxy. The main part of this was my brother and his girlfriend coming up for dinner at the local pub with me and my father. The idea being that while we were out lots of wild rumours about my safety and security would circulate including things like the speedboat crash in Cornwall, the death of Hibernian fan at their football match against Kilmarnock and the re-capture of Stevie McMullen an escaped prisoner who had been on the run in Manchester. Fortunately I managed to soften all these blows by simply staying home and enjoying good food, good weed, good wine and a bit of peace and quiet. A tough sacrifice I'm sure you'll agree.

One thing I didn't manage to avoid was the TV premiere of  2010 British gangster film called "London Boulevard." This centred around a gangster played by Colin Farrell who was trying to escape his life of crime after being released from prison. He ends up getting a job as bodyguard for a world famous actress played by Keira Knightley who'd been driven slightly insane by the pressures of fame such as constant intrusion by the paparazzi and stalkerish fans. Throughout the film a crime boss played by Ray Winstone is constantly trying to drag Farrell's character back into a life of crime. Winstone's character allows the film to explore the relationship between organised crime, the British Establishment and world famous celebrities. A promising but gay young footballer also puts in an appearance.

The cast list is a whose who of British (and Irish) acting talent. This along with some other distinct similarities with my past means that the film isn't just a premonition of the way Rihanna and I have been forced together but the production may well have been one of the planning meetings. This isn't a great thing for Rihanna to dwell on before a concert - especially one attended by Cara Delevinge - after all a significant proportion of those nudging her in my direction were doing so for very different reasons to her CIA handlers. It should though help reassure her that in lieu of getting this phone thing sorted out no-one will be shocked if she follows me on Twitter so we can at least have the semi-privacy of direct messages.

As for how all this affected Rihanna's concert performance I simply do not know because no local reviews of footage is a available. However in the absence of even rumours of major disasters along with the fact Rihanna went out partying at the Pink Elephant nightclub after the show and seems in fine form today I think it's fair to say she did just fine. This reaction is completely incompatible with news today that Chris Brown considers his relationship with Rihanna to now be over. Rihanna doesn't seem bothered by this because it is of course nonsense. We heard the same stories during the 777 Tour and in the weeks proceeding Rihanna's California concerts and Rihanna and Chris Brown's relationship continued. This latest effort though is the CIA handlers attempting to reduce pressure on Brown to be jailed by trying to assure us that he won't be having any contact with Rihanna during her tour break. We will wait and see what happens.

Much more interesting than Rihanna's concerts though were Justin Beiber's concerts in Dubai, United Arab Emirates (UAE) on Saturday (4/5/13) and Sunday (5/5/13). At the Saturday concert Beiber was some two hours late taking to the stage much to the audiences annoyance. This was a US enquiry as to whether the UAE was as desperately awaiting my response to Friday's (3/5/13) air-strike against Syria as the US was. At the Sunday concert a man leapt onto the stage and lunged at Beiber knocking his piano over in the process. Beiber managed to escape from the man's clutches and the man was swiftly dragged off stage by Beiber's bodyguards. Due to the time difference with the UK this all took place at around the time I should have been out at the pub. Therefore it was a UAE attempt to add to the level of drama the UK was trying to create. As the Sunday incident highlights the very close relationship between the UK and the UAE and because it was a physical assault it demonstrates why I am really not happy about Rihanna's UAE (19/10/13) concert. Therefore I cannot consider the CIA's Rihanna operation terminated until Chris Brown is properly squared away, the communication short-falls have been corrected and the post-Helsinki (28/7/13) concerts are cancelled.

Finally Rihanna's concert in Boston will go ahead today. However while throwing her under the bus Live Nation are attempting to save their own reputation by putting on a benefit concert for those injured in the Boston marathon bombings with tickets going on sale today. Live Nation have miserly announced that only the net profits from the ticket sales will go to the victims once Live Nation has deducted it's fees. As you can probably tell from Rihanna's civil suit against Berdon LLP once Live Nation deducts it's fees there tends not to be very much net profit left. Therefore I think Live Nation should hand over the gross profits from the benefit concert. After all with the artists agreeing to perform and the venue being prepared to stage the concert I'm confused as to what Live Nation's role in the concert actually is.

16:45 on 6/5/13.

The Nigel Evans Arrest.

On Friday (3/5/13) the Deputy Speaker of the UK House of Commons Nigel Evans was arrested over allegations of rape and sexual assault. Details of this arrest were made public on Saturday (4/5/13) afternoon once Mr Evans had been released on police bail after some 15 hours of police questioning. As Mr Evans has been openly gay for a number of years the fact that he is accused of raping/sexually assaulting two adult men should come as no surprise. After all under UK law "rape" is defined as; "the insertion of a finger or penis into the vagina, mouth or anus of another person without their consent. Sexual assault is more generally defined as "unwanted sexual touching" such as kissing or groping. The gender of the victim is not an issue.

Although technically an independent Member of Parliament (MP) since becoming Deputy Speaker Mr Evans was first elected to Parliament as a member of the Conservative Party and has always made up part of their libertarian wing. I think his political career can best be defined by the time he found himself chairing a Commons debate on slavery to mark World Anti-Slavery Day. This debate was attended by around 14 of the UK's 625 MP's. So looking out across the vast empty chamber Mr Evans stood up and said something along the lines of; "I apologise for those of you who cannot find somewhere to sit. The exceptionally high turn-out underlines just how importantly this issue is viewed within the UK." in a speech that even I found to be a little bit too sarcastic.

The biggest libertarian versus totalitarian issue currently facing UK politics is that of press freedom - specifically the proposed Royal Charter that was introduced despite the findings of the Leveson Inquiry. Fortunately all UK newspaper publishers have refused to sign up to this charter. However the assorted perverts, weirdos and Communist that make up the "Hacked Off" campaign still show no sign of dropping the issue. One of the most pernicious elements of the Royal Charter are proposals that would make it illegal for the press to confirm that an individual has been arrested.

The recent flurry of arrests relating to the Jimmy Savile child sex abuse investigation has - according to some opinion polls - increased public support for this proposal. The argument being that if someone is wrongly accused of a sexual offence the press reporting of their arrest will damage their reputation long before the matter is ever heard in a Court of Law. Therefore we should stop the press reporting any arrests in order to protect the reputations of the accused. By having Mr Evans arrested on what seem to me to be completely false accusations the UK Crown is hoping to strengthen that public support for that argument.

Of course the alternative would be to create a more educated population that understands the fact that someone has been arrested most certainly does not mean they are guilty. Under the law this is known as the presumption of innocence and having been arrested on many occasions but convicted only twice I can assure you it is a very important thing. Obviously though the Crown is very opposed to this alternative solution. After all a more educated population would be much less likely to swear allegiance to an elaborate form of golden headwear.

Needless to say having also recently experienced the death of his mother and the death of his brother Mr Evans has decided to take a week off work meaning he will miss Wednesday's (8/5/13) Queen's speech officially opening the Parliamentary session. As always any Labour Party MP's attending deserve to be shot.

18:30 on 5/5/13.

Israeli Air-Strikes Against Syria.

In the very early hours of Friday (3/5/13)  morning vehicles were destroyed close to the Syria/Lebanon border. It has since been confirmed - off the record - that this was an Israeli air-strike against a convoy carrying Russian made SA-7 MAN Portable Air Defence System (MANPAD) missiles bound for Hezbollah in Lebanon. In the early hours of Sunday (6/5/13) multiple, large explosions occurred at the Jamraya research centre on the outskirts of the Syrian capital Damascus. Although Israel never comments publicly on this type of operation it is widely believed that this was another Israeli air-strike targeting an SA-7 storage facility.

I think it is possible to read too much into these air-strikes. After all a state war does exist between Israel and Syria and these type of weapons do present a clear and present danger to Israel's safety and security. Therefore primarily I consider them to be necessary strikes against legitimate military targets. However coming in a week in which US provocation of Israel over the issues of Syrian weapons and the US' Rhianna operation has dramatically intensified they are also clearly Israel's response.

Although their efforts have been dwarfed by recent events the CIA has long supported insurgent groups in Syria since long before the so-called 'Arab Spring' and the current mayhem in the country. The excuse has always been that by weakening the Syrian government the US was in turn weakening Hezbollah and through that helping to protect Israel. This is simply not the case. Over the past week Hezbollah has officially confirmed that it is sending fighters to help support the Syrian government. Quite apart from the real-world training this gives its fighters Hezbollah is being rewarded for this support through access to the Syrian arsenal of high powered, military grade weaponry. This only makes Hezbollah stronger and unchecked could put them in a position to attempt an invasion of Israel. If the Syrian government collapses Hezbollah and other more radical Islamist groups could well exploit the chaos to get hold of Syria's Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD). They would then be able to mount attacks on Israel that would kill a significant proportion of Israel's civilian population.

Therefore the Israeli air-strikes were intended to highlight the severity of the situation to the US. The fact that Israel was able to carry out the attacks unaided was a clear response to the US threat to Israel through the Massive Ordinance Penetrator (MOP) that Israel must obey the US in return for US protection. The strike against the Jamraya research centre was intended to highlight that foreign intervention such as the air-strikes needed to set up a suggested no-fly zone will rapidly hasten the fall of the Syrian government and is therefore a red-line that must not be crossed. The attack close to the Syria/Lebanon border while we were awaiting Rihanna to cross the Canada/US border was a clear reminder that if "Operation Misery" were to be terminated I could dust off the "Operation Ostrava" designation and that along with Mali should be the priority at this point.

11:45 on 6/5/13.

Edited at around 15:40 on 6/5/13 to add;

Since my Friday (3/5/13) Tweet US Federal authorities have got heavily involved in managing the public statements regarding the California wildfires. They are now being very keen to emphasises how under control these wildfires are in a effort to force the wildfires to better fit the official message regarding the 'community contaiment' of the Rihanna/Chris Brown operation. This has been aided by genuine changes to weather conditions which have brought significant relief to the actual Los Angeles communities involved. I think this deserves a blog post of it's own. After all it certainly disproves the claim that Rihanna controls the weather because the weather has clearly being countermanding Rihanna's efforts. Unfortunately I'm already two pints down so I don't see that happening today.

Also Chris Brown has celebrated his birthday in Las Vegas where he was joined by on/off girlfriend Kerrueche Tran. On the surface this was intended to be interpreted that Chris Brown and Rihanna's relationship is now over or 'contained by the community.' In reality though it was intended to increase the pressure on Rihanna's core social group with some members expressing anger at the news and other members expressing relief. The US decided to emphasise this tension by setting fire to a limousine on a bridge in San Francisco. The limousine represents Rihanna's tour bus and we are left to speculate who the five dead and five injured women are. Therefore I think it is fair to say that the US position has hardened in response to the Israeli air-strikes. However I don't think they've yet had time to fully digest and understand the implications of the Israeli strikes.

As for Rihanna herself I'm about to go and have a look to see what she has been up too. However I gather having being given a surprise day off in which to dwell on Chris Brown's birthday celebrations and the Live Nation promoted boxing 'match' between Floyd 'wife-beater' Mayweather and Robert Guerrero through the use of Brooklyn's Barclays Centre arena for the New York Nets V Chicago Bulls NBA basketball play-off game Rihanna spent the day at the Barclays centre watching the Nets V Bulls game before partying at the 40/40 nightclub which is part of the Barclays centre. To me that just shows a worrying lack of imagination.

Remember Those Two Images?

Well I'm dubbing this one "Exhibit A";



and this one "Exhibit B";



Exhibit A was the padlock we'd attached to the side gate on my grandmother's property. Exhibit B was the mounting that padlock was placed in. As you can see in some point known as "history" someone has come round and twisted the padlock so much it broke the mounting. At best guess I would say this occured on Tuesday (30/4/13). However I only received this as a bag of bolts on Thursday (2/5/13). Therefore I only really mention it because I think it might have some relevance the the burglar who was found dead in the chimney of a lawyers office in Derby, UK on Thursday and the failed robbery in Zedelgem, Belgium which has left police searching for Euro1m that escaped from a safe during a police chase.

Mainly though I'm trying to tell the local nigger network; If you're going to try an intimidation tactic at least try and do something we'll notice. After all it's not like I'm even allowed a Colt Defender.

01:20 on 4/5/13.

Operation Misery: Month 2, Week 4, Day 5.

On Wednesday (1/5/13) Rihanna's tour moved on to Montreal in Canada. Obviously this involved Rihanna and her tour caravan crossing the US/Canadian border. After previous attempts at this saw Rihanna's tour bus being searched and a crew member being cited for Marijuana possession and then the trucks carrying to stage set being impounded threatening the cancellation of the Winnipeg (25/3/13) concert there was an expectation this would be a very dramatic journey. Unfortunately through the arrest of two terror suspects accused of plotting to attack a train travelling between Toronto (Canada) and New York (USA) people got the distinct impression that the Canadians weren't taking this anywhere nearly as seriously as Rihanna's CIA handlers had hoped. Therefore it was up to the US and the UK to try and raise the tension.

The UK set things off on Tuesday (30/4/13) by blowing up a Mastiff armoured vehicle in Afghanistan killing three British soldiers in the process. As the logical thing would have been for the caravan to leave a day in advance in order to absorb any delays at the border this was intended to trick the less well connected into thinking that Rihanna's tour caravan had hit problems at the border - the Mastiff being the closest thing to a tour bus the British military operate in Afghanistan. Once it was revealed that the tour caravan didn't actually begin it's journey until Wednesday this was supposed to trick people into thinking there had been some sort of argument amongst members of Rihanna's core tour party with someone being blown clear of the vehicle so to speak. Rihanna herself tried to sell this narrative by making a point of being seen to go out to dinner with one of her friends in New York while her other friend Melissa Forde was noticeably absent instead cursing and swearing away on Twitter/Instagram. In order to confuse things further Kim Kardashian - a member of Rihanna's wider social group - also took to Twitter/Instagram to make it look like she too has having some sort of argument with Rihanna. Eventually Chris Brown also put in an appearance on Twitter/Instagram to join in but I genuinely don't think he knew what was going on. This sort of behaviour from Rihanna is of course highly counter productive because by highlighting the problems caused by Chris Brown she is merely increasing the pressure on his handlers to terminate their protection of him.

On Wednesday itself the UK announced the arrest of William 'Bill' Roach for two offences of rape of a 15 year old girl dating back to the 1960's. You may remember that this is the same William Roach who gave a bizarre interview with New Zealand television in which he claimed victims of rape and other forms of sexual abuse deserve what they get as punishment for sins committed in their past lives. Roach then went on to spout some pseudo-religious nonsense which he attributed to the "True Love Movement" a division of the "Unification Church" better known as "The Moonies" cult. The purpose of Roach giving that interview (no doubt under threat of arrest) was to provide a coded message to the faithful that the UK will be using Rihanna's trips to UK Commonwealth nations (including Canada) to test the strength of the allegiance between the UK and its Commonwealth nations. Apart from accidentally revealing that no matter how many times you scratch the UK's back they will only even stab you in yours the arrest of Roach added an element of tense confusion to Rihanna's journey to Canada. You see by arresting the person who fronted the ecumenical test the UK could have been saying that the test had been cancelled so Canada wasn't under any pressure to intercept Rihanna at the border. However they could equally be saying that anybody who failed the ecumenical test should expect to be punished massively increasing the pressure on Canada to lash out at Rihanna. This element of doubt was of course the main point. Almost immediately after Rihanna successfully crossed into Canada unmolested Roach was charged with the offences certainly giving the impression that the UK meant anyone failing the ecumenical test should expect to be punished. This message obviously raises the tension for Rihanna's return journey and indeed her stay in Canada because as Justin Beiber's recent troubles in Sweden demonstrate tour buses can be stopped and searched on the street just like any other vehicle. Rihanna shouldn't worry too much though because as long as the person taking the fall is a US citizen minor drug arrests in Canada are no big problem. In fact it might actually help remind Rihanna that there are times when I'm exactly the person she wants at the other end of a phone.

At around 13:30 (GMT) the police at Gatwick Airport in the UK discovered a suspiciously abandoned Renault van sparking a terrorist alert. Again all this talk of police searching a van was intended to be interpreted as an indication that Rihanna's tour caravan had been stopped at the US/Canada border and was being searched. The police eventually decided to destroy this van in a controlled explosion which because Renault is a French company was intended to be interpreted as the UK expressing anger that the tour caravan had passed through the search and customs without vehicles being impounded or people being arrested. As this all took place around four hours before the tour caravan arrived at the border it was also intended to raise the pressure on border officials in the French speaking Canadian province of Quebec to act against the tour caravan.

By this point the US had woken up and joined in with the news that the wing section of the Boeing aircraft found close to the site of the 2001 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Centre in New York last Friday (26/4/13) contained no human remains. A large part of that 'discovery' was to find out if people viewed the Rihanna/Chris Brown operation which has long been discussed in terms of Boeing's troubled 787 Dreamliner as a terrorist act - Boeing's terrorist wing if you will. By announcing that no human remains had been found the US was trying to say that the people running the operation had lost that quantum of solace or compassion that makes us human and would conduct the rest of the operation with utter ruthlessness. This is obviously a very ominous statement for anybody concerned about Rihanna's future well being and was clearly so provocative it was intended to promote a reaction thus further increasing pressure on the Canadians who were already being squeezed by the UK.

This was followed up by the news that researchers at the US National Museum of Natural History had uncovered evidence that settlers at the Jamestown colony in Virginia had engaged in cannibalism during the long winter famine of 1607 that destroyed the colony. As the settlers at Jamestown were British this was intended as a clear warning that the British eat their own. This was intended to increase pressure on the Canadians who must have been torn between an urge to protect Rihanna from the British and a fear that if they don't lash out at Rihanna they'll be the ones getting eaten as punishment.

The US' main event though was the arrest of three further suspects accused of assisting the alleged bombers of the Boston marathon after the attacks had taken place. This is of course is an attempt by Rihanna's CIA handlers to further re-enforce the connection between Rihanna and the Boston marathon bombings in order to make her deeply unpopular especially at her upcoming performance in Boston (6/5/13). Beyond that it was intended to create another flurry of rumours that Rihanna's tour caravan had been stopped at the border and arrests had been made. Once those rumours had been revealed to be untrue the US intended to push the detail that the two suspects who were not US citizens had previously agreed to voluntary confinement on immigration matters. This was intended to be the handlers reassuring the world that Rihanna and Chris Brown had voluntarily agreed not to meet up during Rihanna's tour break. This is something that I hope to be true and certainly something that both Rihanna and Chris Brown have been trying to convince everyone is true through a series of faux arguments on Twitter/Instagram. However having not really thought this through the handlers then proceeded to shoot themselves straight in the foot. Almost immediately after Rihanna's tour caravan successfully crossed into Canada the US was forced to charge all three suspects in front of a Federal Magistrate thus demonstrating that even the US think that voluntarily confinement is simply not sufficient.

  MONTREAL CONCERT>

Rihanna's CIA handlers didn't even wait for the Montreal concert to begin before acting to further increase the pressure on Rihanna and correct their error from the Boston arrest narrative. At around 17:00 (local)/21:00 (GMT) a one Chris Kelly was pronounced dead at a hospital in Atlanta, US after being found unconscious at his home. Although toxicology tests are yet to be completed authorities suspect a drugs overdose. Apart from sharing the given name of Chris Brown Kelly used to be a part of toe-curlingly awful 1990's rap-group "Kriss Kross" in which he was known as 'Mac Daddy.' Seven hours after Kelly's death the cosmetic company MAC released for sale the Rihanna inspired lipstick RiRiWoo. Therefore this killing was carried out in order to promote discussion about whether people in the business think Chris Brown should simply be killed whilst casting a dark shadow over Rihanna's product launch in order to increase the pressure on her. By raising the prospect of Chris Brown being killed his handlers were trying to take the argument about what to do with him to a ridiculous extreme in the hope of reducing the pressure for him to be put in prison. However the handlers again seem to have failed to think this one through. Probably the only argument that exists for continuing to protect Brown is that it would be bad for team morale if the CIA shows it is unable to protect one of its assets. However as there are plenty of people in the business who would quite happily see Chris Brown killed his own handlers have put forth the argument that by putting him in prison rather then killing him they would actually be protecting Chris Brown.

On something of a side note in preparation for the launch of Rihanna's red MAC lipstick Turkish airlines have banned their flight attendants from wearing brightly coloured red or pink lipsticks in favour of more pastel tones. This has prompted something of a small social media campaign accusing the airline of trying to Islamify the fiercely secular nation. I think what's actually happened is that Turkey has taken this step in order to warn its population that the CIA is going to inflict Rihanna on them on in Istanbul on May 30th (30/5/13) so it would be best for her to be ignored. The type of social media campaign in response to the airline decision is exactly the type of thing they want to avoid.

The death of Chris Kelly was rapidly followed up on Thursday (2/5/13) with the announcement that Rihanna's tour is going to be extended further in order to include a concert in Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) on October 19th (19/10/13). This should come as absolutely devastating news for Rihanna and anyone who is concerned about her future well being. Quite apart from the cost of having to transport Rihanna and her tour caravan all the way from South Africa to the UAE as I've said all along this tour has being designed as the honour killing of Rihanna in order to restore honour to the Gulf Monarchs (Emirs) whom she offended through starting the so-called Arab Spring through the "Run This Town" song/video. The UAE concert at the end of a long and gruelling tour is Rihanna's CIA handlers serving her head up on a silver platter to the Emirs as a sort of Biblical offering. In a nation where Marijuana is most certainly illegal and you need a special license from the government to consume or possess alcohol the handlers are clearly hoping for a major emotional meltdown by Rihanna in order to complete the sacrifice. The fact that Rihanna's co-star in the Run This Town song Jay-Z had his head on the chopping block in the UK as this news was announced tells you a lot about the dearth of strategic acumen within the Live Nation organisation.

Later on Thursday it was announced that Lindsay Lohan has checked into a rehabilitation facility as part of her punishment for lying to the police following a road accident. However the rehab facility Lohan has checked into is not one that has been approved by prosecutors. Therefore those prosecutors have until May 10th (10/5/13) to inspect the facility and decide whether they accept it or whether to bring Lohan back to Court for failing to complete her punishment. This is all another attempt by the handlers to reinforce the idea that Chris Brown and Rihanna will be kept separate during Rihanna's tour break and promote discussion about whether this will be an acceptable way to help Rihanna permanently resolve her fundamental misconceptions - her 'rehab.' The answer to that question is a swift and simple no because the conditions needed for Rihanna's 'rehabilitation' are totally incompatible with the conditions of her tour. Therefore she cannot be considered in 'rehab' until this tour has ended. In fact part of the provocation of Israel - who fully understand the solutions required to Rihanna's issues - through the announcement of the rescheduled Texas concerts in November was the US telling Israel that that they have no intention of helping Rihanna solve her issues.

Going off on something of a tangent again despite the rescheduled dates Live Nation have been forced by law to offer full refunds to any ticket holders. I think true Rihanna fans would take Live Nation up on that offer forcing the cancellation of the concerts and finally allowing Rihanna some well earned time off.

The news about Lohan was swiftly followed up by reports of a shooting incident at Bush airport in Houston, US. After much drama it emerged that a man had walked into the terminal carrying an AR-15 type semi-automatic rifle and fired one shot into the ceiling before shooting himself in the head. This could have been a reference to the gun control debate. It could have been a reference to the debate over Bush-era policies versus Obama-era policies. It could also have been a reference to me 'shooting myself in the head' either by insulting Rihanna's #RiRiWoo hashtag on Twitter or generally not behaving in a way the CIA wished I would. It could even have been a coded reference the fact that Obama had departed on his trip to Mexico. That obviously promotes discussion about coded references to departure times which has highly relevant to Rihanna's adventures with international border posts. Mainly though I think the airport incident was a general attempt to cause confusion.

Next the US announced that the body of Tamarlan Tsarnaev - the dead suspect in the Boston marathon bombings - had been claimed by the family so some sort of funeral could take place. Primarily this was something that needed to be done. However the timing was intended to create confused speculation over which 'family' had claimed the Boston bombings. After all I pointed out earlier on in the day on Twitter that I wasn't actually the Boston marathon suspect - something I thought went without saying. However as the Tsarnaev's CIA handlers have been working very hard to use Dohktar Tsarnaev as a metaphor me I suppose there was some hope that the news that one of the Tsarnaevs being sent for a funeral would provoke some tense discussion about whether the US are saying I'm dead as far as they're concerned. It was also an attempt by Rihanna's CIA handlers to further damage her reputation by further linking her to the Boston bombings ahead of the her still to be cancelled Boston (6/5/13) concert.

Then the FBI Field office in Newark, New Jersey, US announced that it was making Joanne Chesimaid the first ever woman on it's infamous "Most Wanted" list. This obviously raised questions about whether the US was in fact being anti-women by taking this long to consider a woman worthy of such an 'honour.'  This discussion abut feminism was prompted by the fact that there are a very large number of people both within US state circles and beyond very worried that because the US has waited so long for a woman President they will settle for any woman President and Hillary Clinton will be elected in 2016. As the majority of the US State Department's current workload involves tidying up f*ck ups from the Hillary era this is generally considered a very bad idea.The fact that Chesimaid is currently on the run in Cuba promotes discussion about that absolutely tiny issue of US/Cuba sanctions including Jay-Z and Beyonce's recent state sanctioned trip there.

The fact that Chesmaid escaped from prison after being convicted of the murder of a New Jersey police officer whilst a member of the Black Militant Army (BLA) promotes discussion about the conspiracy theory surrounding that other great black empowerment group the Black Panthers. As this is believed by a great number of people it doesn't really matter how true the conspiracy theory is. However the theory runs that realising that the Black Panthers were becoming too successful the CIA decided to counter them by flooding Black America with crack cocaine an heroin (which helped to fund the Iran contras) and inflicting 'icons' such as Chris Brown on them in an effort to hold them back and keep them poor.

Also having taken the assumed name of Assata Shakur Chesmaid claims to be the aunt of the famous rapper Tupac Shakur. This obviously promotes discussion about the infamous east coast V west coast rap war that saw both Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G shot and killed. There's something about Chris Brown that makes me really miss those days. More importantly though it promotes discussion about "Ghetto Gospel" - Tupac's 2005 post-mortem collaboration with Elton John. Featuring "Bodie" from "The Wire" in the video many people have said this was a UK led US/UK effort to make me world famous prior to that year's G8 Summit. The line from that song that always sticks with me is "Peace to that young warrior/worrier" (pronunciation's fun). As Rihanna proceeded her Newark concert by posting a Instagram/Twitter picture of her wearing an Los Angeles Warriors basketball jersey this was intended to promote discussion about whether she was aware of my life before her career began or simply was expressing love for what she now considers to be her home town. After all we all thought her to be more of a Denver Nuggat. Personally I just think that if Rihanna is trying to send me coded messages basketball is really not the medium through which to do it.

Finally in certain photographs Chesmaid could look a bit like Rihanna's friend Melissa Forde. Obviously having her declared one of the FBI's most wanted would certainly give the impression of raising the tension within Rihanna's core tour party.

Long after I'd gone to bed the US' rant against Israel over Rihanna and the discovery of Sarin in Syria (yes the two issues are really that interlinked) intensified. Firstly the wildfires currently sweeping California managed to set fire to storage tanks containing an unspecified form of pesticide (I'm guessing organophosphate) forcing the evacuation of surrounding homes. This was obviously the US once again expressing it's anger towards Israel for sitting them down and explaining to them that Syria does hold vast stockpiles of Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD) including Sarin gas and worse. While there is a degree of confidence that the Syrian government will not use these weapons it is almost certain that if the Syrian government were to fall the Saudi and Qatari Irregular Army (SQIA) will use them - most probably against Israel. The CIA really don't like being reminded of that truth because it forces them to take the situation in Syria very seriously rather than continuing to treat it as a bit of a lark.

Then the US announced that the Israeli's had been sent information demonstrating that its Massive Ordinance Penetrator (MOP) bunker busting bomb had been improved making it more likely that it could successfully destroy Iran's underground nuclear facilities. On the surface this was presented to make it look like the US was reassuring Israel. In reality though it was a US threat reminding Israel that it is dependent on US assistance in order to attack Iran so it had better behave. Also the Israelis will not have failed to notice that the Saudis would have interpreted as the US saying to them; "Look what great friends we are. We hate Israel as much as you and we're prepared to bomb your great regional rival Iran." As both the MOP and the planes that could drop it are made by Boeing this was also the US sticking the knife into Israel over their continued insistence that Rihanna is given the time and space to deal with her issues rather than having those issues exploited in order to force her into a highly abusive relationship with Chris Brown. The exchange of technical information was of course a reference to the technical information Israel gave to the US regarding the presence of Sarin in Syria.

The death of Dr Autumn Klein MD in Pittsburgh on April 20th (20/4/13) was of course an earlier round in the argument between Israel and the US over Rihanna that has been going on for the best part of 9 months. Klein is of course a Jewish name so the fact she was a neurologist was intended to be a US rebuttal of Israel (and most everybody else's) assessment that Chris Brown in a pathological offender who cannot be rehabilitated. The fact that it was confirmed by toxicology tests that Klein was killed by cyanide poisoning was a reference to the tests of soil samples excetera that the US was forced into after Israel handed it information demonstrating the presence of Sarin in Syria.

On Friday (3/5/13) it emerged that Lindsay Lohan had not checked into a rehabilitation facility after all. On the surface this could be interpreted as the US conceding the Israeli point that Rihanna cannot be considered 'in rehab' until her tour has ended. However in reality Lohan's failure to attend a rehab facility means that she will have to appear in Court again in what will no doubt be a highly theatrical performance. Therefore the US is simply trying to cause more confusion and keep the argument running. The US actual concession will of course come in the form of Live Nation announcing - without prejudice to Rihanna - the immediate cancellation of all Diamonds World Tour concerts after Helsinki, Finland on July 28th (28/7/13) followed on June 10th (10/6/13) by the indictment of Chris Brown.

At present the US show absolutely no sign of doing this. Through Thursday's rigged NBA playoff basketball match between the New York Nets and the Chicago Bulls they forced the delay of Rihanna's first Brooklyn concert from Saturday (4/5/13) until Tuesday (7/5/13).  This is intended to reassure Rihanna that her CIA handlers have her best interests at heart by making sure the still not cancelled Boston (6/5/13) will not be the last concert of the current US leg. It was also an effort to get Rihanna to stay in Canada for another day by removing the urgent need for her to get back to New York for Saturday. That would obviously increase the pressure on the Canadian authorities for when Rihanna did eventually arrive at the border. It would also increase the pressure on everybody else by extending the window in which Rihanna could possibly be arriving at the border and through that increase the opportunity for the sort of wild rumours we saw ahead of the Wednesday crossing. It was also an attempt to delay me making this post. You see the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC) has been holding a big conference in Bonn, Germany in order to flesh out the Durban Platform for Adaptation (ADP) which is intended to provide the framework for the upcoming COP19/CMP9 Conference. Needless to say not much progress has been made primarily because the US are still pushing the "Rihanna controls the weather with her mind" angle.

As part of the general level of noise from the US that filled the suspense about Rihanna's return journey to the US from Canada the Massachusetts attorney general announced that Robel Philliops will make his first Court appearance on Monday May 6th (6/5/13). As the US have always intended for naturalised US citizen (Ethiopia) to be viewed as a metaphor for Chris Brown the fact that his first Court appearance will take place on the same day as Rihanna's Boston concert and 777 Tour documentary debut was just a sad attempt to pique some level interest in Chris Brown while again attempting to damage Rihanna's reputation by further linking her to the Boston marathon bombings.

Then at around 18:40 (GMT) FOX News put out a story claiming that no Boston cemetery will take Tarmalan Tsarnaev's body. This appears to have prompted Rihanna to take to Twitter/Instagram to announce that she had arrived safe and well in Brooklyn. As yet this has not been independently verified. After all any Bangladeshi can embroider. However I believe it to be true. I would like to take personal credit for Rihanna's early departure and arrival. However I fear the reality is that Rihanna much prefers Park Avenue hotels to Ottawa hotels.

Finally as you may have guessed by the large place-holders currently "INSERT DETAILS OF CONCERT" this post may be edited later once I get the slightest idea what happened at either Rihanna's Montreal of Ottawa concert. However on I should point out that the information is out there. It's just I've lacked the time and Internet connection to go and look at it.

20:05 on 3/5/13.

Did You Forget the Tsarneav Brothers Were Muslims?!

Because if you did that was very careless.

You see for the aftermath of the Boston marathon bombings the UK had very carefully prepared a series of trials of homegrown Muslim terrorists. Honestly there have been such a long series of these over the last two weeks I can't actually remember each individual one. However I think there was one about a group of - idiots is the term I'm going with - who planned to blow up a Territorial Army (TA) base by driving a remote controlled car underneath the front gates (ER V Dart et al, 2013) along with another group of idiots who planned an attack "That would have been bigger than 7/7(05)" - (ER V Naseer, Khalid, Ali, 2013).

The big one from today though has been the six men who attempted to attack an English Defence League (EDL) rally on July 30th 2012 (30/6/12). They were thwarted after the EDL rally ended suspiciously early and the seven men were stopped as part of a routine police traffic check on the M1 motorway. After impounding the vehicle for not having valid insurance the police eventually discovered it to contain a stash of weapons including a large commercial firework modified to include contain nails and other shrapnel in a design not too dissimilar to the Boston marathon bombs. I believe this case is known as "ER V Uddin, Hussain, Hasseen, Kahn, Ahmed, Saud (2013)" although we never did find out what happened to that mysterious 7th man.

As the EDL terror plot occurred during what I dubbed "Terror Week" this string of homegrown Muslim terror plots is intended to make people who will be attending the G8 Summit and worry about how to avoid having their people blown up or shot question whether the UK will be keeping all their pet terrorists on the leash or whether they're just trying to lull us into a false sense of security?

Beyond that though along with the Boston marathon bombings this string of homegrown terrorism trials is supposed to convince us that we could all be murdered by Islamic extremists at any moment!!! Therefore we had better allow our governments to take away ever more of our rights and introduce ever more intrusive security measures in order to keep us all safe. Of course our governments can't be expected to do anything about the Islamic extremists in Mali, Libya or Syria because that might actually solve the problem.

As for the investigation into the Boston bombings itself it has quite reasonably moved on to Rhode Island where Tamerlan Tsarneav's wife Katherine (nee Russell) are being questioned by the FBI. Prior to marrying Tamerlan Katherine grew up as your typical all American girl before converting to Islam and deciding to wear one of those funny headscarves that really make her stand out. Unreasonably just as this questioning began an 'unamed source' told FOX News that female DNA had been discovered on some of the components from the Boston bombs. This is the Tsarneav brothers CIA handlers nudging America in the ribs and going; "See that funny looking women in the Muslim headscarf? She's to blame so be afraid!!"

So allow me to be blunt when I say; the majority of the components of the Boston bombs literally went through hundreds of people including the two women who died picking up all sorts of male and female DNA as they went. If by some miracle forensic testing has been able to positively identify the DNA as Katherine Tsarnaev's (really she reminds me of a character in "Homeland") then she did live with her husband. Therefore it is entirely possible that she may have transferred some of her DNA to either her husband (possibly as she kissed him goodbye on her way to work) or some object (like a screwdriver) in the family home which her husband then transferred onto the bomb components without her knowledge.

In other news just Rihanna made her way to Washington the UK opened the trial of Mark Bridger for the abduction and murder of April Jones. I am honestly too tired to begin to comprehend the full details of this case. However I should remind you that April Jones was the 5 year old girl who was abducted on the day that Rihanna and Chris Brown reunited in that New York nightclub toilet. Therefore what happened was that the UK instructed one of it's stable of pet paedophiles to abduct a young girl to provide a bridge of dialogue between the UK and the US over the New York nightclub toilet incident. Apart from his name Bridger was chosen because he grew near up near Croydon (where I live) before moving to Brighton (where I used to live) before moving to Machynlleth in Wales where April Jones was abducted. Therefore he could equally be a metaphor for me or a metaphor for Chris Brown.

Personally I think he's his own man and he's a c*nt. Rather then just admitting what he's done Bridger has made up some nonsense story about accidentally running over April Jones in his car and killing her. He then removed her body from the scene but because he drinks heavily he can't remember what happened next. Obviously he hopes that for repeating this nonsense his MI5 handlers will reward him with a soft time in prison - I'm thinking something to do with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) stemming from his time as a soldier.

Unfortunately the Courts decision to allow this defence has forced the prosecution to lay out a skeleton argument explaining the truth. Personally I think the bit that must be most horrific for April Jones' parents is the debate about whether after killing her Bridger simply dumped her body in the sea where it will never be found or first chopped up her body into tiny pieces in order to make sure it would never be found. I just hope that in sentencing the Judge remembers ever single moment that Bridger failed to plead guilty. An unconditional discharge seems appropriate.

For the US part they've responded with a story about a female daycare centre worker who dressed in a Burka to abduct and rape a 5 year old girl in an effort to really confuse Muslims through a discussion about the relationship between Rihanna and Melissa Forde. So I think we're back to that question for Obama.

21:40 on 30/4/13.

Operation Misery: Month 2, Week 4, Day 2.

Over the weekend of Rihanna's New Jersey concerts; Atlantic City (26/4/13) and Newark (28/4/13) the UK took up the reigns of attempting to knock Rihanna off balance and ruin the shows. Primarily this centred around UK boyband "The Wanted" releasing previews of their new single entitled "Walks Like Rihanna." Featuring lyrics like; "She can't dance, she can't sing but she walks like Rihanna" this is hardly complementary towards Rihanna. However what Rihanna should be more worried about is that towards the end of 2012 The Wanted recorded a single with Chris Brown but have since declined to release it because Chris Brown is now pure brand poison and they didn't want their reputation damaged by being associated with him.

Also UK pop mogul Simon Cowell has clearly got a sulk on about Rihanna's failure to take him up on his invitation to meet up while they were both holidaying in Barbados over the Christmas period. Therefore the tone of the new single by 2011 UK series of X-Factor and notorious Rihanna stalkers "Little Mix" "How Ya Doin" is very much "Don't call us we'll call you." On Saturday (27/4/13) Simon Cowell judged an episode the TV talent show "Britain's Got Talent" on which Asanda Jezile performed a version of Rihanna's song "Diamonds." As Jezile is only 12 years old this prompted a minor scandal about Rihanna sexualising her young fans and exposing them to drug references. Fortunately no-one watches Britain's Got Talent so this was really only noticed by readers of the UK's "Daily Star" newspaper.

Mainly because she was unlikely to have heard about any of this Rihanna didn't allow this to affect her Newark concert in any way. She arrived on the standard stage at around 22:00 (local) and competently worked her way through the standard set-list and costume changes although I don't know the exact running order for what was a vocally strong performance. The only complaint was that Rihanna seemed aloof and disinterested throughout. This should hardly come as much of a surprise because we are at the fag end of the US leg of the tour and trust me once you've performed this as many times as Rihanna has and watched it as many times as I have it becomes really difficult to get excited about it.

Ahead of Monday's (29/4/13) Washington DC concert disruption duties had been firmly handed back to the Americans who led primarily with the first day full day of the Micheal Jackson wrongful death suit. I've already explained at great length how the Jackson families highly questionable grounds for bringing this suit puts great pressure on everyone in the California based entertainment industry and puts specific pressure on Rihanna, Chris Brown and I through metaphorical references to us. However what I found interesting is that the Jackson family lawyers have given up alluding to Rihanna's concert promoters Live Nation and instead have started naming them specifically. The Jackson family argument is now that the pressure of competing with Live Nation forced rival concert promoter AEG to disregard Micheal Jackson's safety in order to go ahead with the "This Is It" tour.

The other main pressure ahead of the Washington DC concert was that it was attended by Malia Obama - the daughter of US President Barack Obama. That obviously should have been hugely embarrassing for Rihanna because she spent most of late-2012 campaigning for Barack Obama's rival Mitt Romney. It should though have given Rihanna's CIA handlers a moment for pause by reminding them that the objectives they plan for through their Rihanna operations simply do not get achieved. Therefore they should stop annoying everyone by trying. It also raises an interesting question for President Obama - namely if one of his daughters was being treated as badly as Rihanna would he still be prepared to overlook it.

Again Rihanna didn't let this affect her performance delivering a vocally strong and competent performance featuring the standard set-list and costume changes although again I'm not sure of the exact running order. Although Rihanna actually managed to arrive on stage early at around 21:30 (local) the main complaint was that she seemed aloof and disinterested. However again this is understandable especially as I've just noticed the notes I made for Rihanna's Washington DC performance are exactly the same as the notes I made for her Newark performance. On this occasion Rihanna's aloofness did seem to be slipping into a contempt for her fans so it might be an idea for her to remember that the problem with this tour is the management not the fans.

As the US leg draws to a close Rihanna's management seem intent on creating even more problems. Firstly it is now less than a week until Rihanna is scheduled to play her rescheduled Boston concert and Live Nation have yet to announce the cancellation of that concert despite most everyone in the industry dropping major f*cking hints. The reason for this boneheaded stupidity is that Live Nation seem to be under the impression that the Boston concert will help boost customers for the US TV showing and international DVD release of the documentary on Rihanna's "777 Tour." I've not seen this documentary but those who have inform me it is a complete PR gloss job that will be unrecognisable to anyone who was actually involved in the 777 Tour.

For example it will make no reference to how that tour was used to apply pressure to all parties involved in Israel's "Pillars of Cloud" operation against Palestine in November 2012. Fortunately the Israelis have decided to remind everybody of this by launching air-strikes against Gaza over the weekend prompting the inevitable retaliation from Gaza. Today Israel assassinated the person they claim was responsible for the retaliatory strike. By local standards this is all very minor a simply serves as an Israeli reminder to Rihanna's CIA handlers that the operations in Mali and Syria are far too important to be jeopardised by any Chris Brown related nonsense.

The big problem over the coming weeks is of course going to be Chris Brown who celebrates his birthday on May 5th. So regardless of whether Rihanna finishes her tour in Brooklyn (5/5/13) or Boston (6/5/13) there is a lot of speculation that Rihanna and Chris Brown will reunite to celebrate his birthday and Rihanna's three week break. This speculation includes discussion about whether Brown's 'father' (read as CIA handler) approves of the relationship and what present Rihanna will be giving Brown. The tour has obviously been scheduled this way so Chris Brown and Rihanna appearing together will promote discussion about forced marriage and honour killing ahead of the Morocco (24/5/13) concert. However as everybody already knows this is the CIA's game it's unlikely to actually happen.

Therefore the main reason that I think Rihanna and Chris Brown should be kept separate during the tour break is that after contact with Chris Brown Rihanna becomes significantly more stupid. For example she's barely recovered intellectually from her last exposure at the beginning of April. Rihanna is really going to need her game head on for the Morocco concert and Chris Brown will jeopardise that so it's simply a case of him being banned from contact with Rihanna. Fortunately Brown has already announced that he will be in Las Vegas, Nevada for the weekend of this birthday (4-5/5/13). I suggest he stays there for the duration of the tour break so Rihanna can use any of the other 49 states to rest, recover and prepare. If she gets really desperate she could even fly over to my cousins wedding. I mean what with the M63 hen-party crash and the Essex hotel swimming pool deaths it couldn't really get more weird.

17:00 on 30/4/13.

Edited at around 19:00 on 30/4/13 to add: I'm back from the pub but there's not going to be a massive rewrite.

However I should point out that Chris Brown and Rihanna reuniting during her tour break will spark another round of those "Is Rihanna pregnant rumours." This is unlikely to have much impact on anyone in the business because if that's how Rihanna's handlers want to put her out that's their business. It is though likely to increase pressure on the tour party increasing the risk of screwed up shows.

Also at the time Live Nation were arranging the South Africa concerts they were trying to set up a concert in Israel. However the Israelis turned them down. Other nations could learn a lot from that example.